It sucks, but being forward, firm, and a bit rude is necessary to get anything done

[Scouzer]

I've always tried to be courteous when dealing with anyone. I try to be polite whenever any company or outfit is dicking me around. It's just my nature. Lately though I've started to notice when a company starts dicking me around, I need to be direct, firm, and rude to get results.

Example. My boss sent me to pickup some mail from the post office since he was out of town for a few weeks. Unfortunately, I wasn't a name on their approved picker upper list, so they blew me off. Essentially they told me there's no possible way in the universe that I can pickup this mail, and the only way to modify the pickup list is for my boss to be there IN PERSON, NO EXCEPTIONS. This obviously doesn't work because my boss is hours away and won't be back for weeks. Before you say it, yes my boss failed to have the foresight to remember this, but that's beside the point of this story.

Like the bitch I am, I leave and call my boss saying we're shit out of luck. He gets really mad (at them) and calls the PO demanding a call back from the branch manager. They didn't call him back by the next day, so he calls 3 more times pissed off, forward, and demanding. He was basically calling once an hour demanding an immediate call back.

Guess what? Branch manager herself calls him back (no lackeys) and the situation is straightened out in less than 15 minutes on the phone. I know him, so he was surely forward, firm, and a little bit rude.

Could I have accomplished that in a similar time frame? Not a chance. I tried calling myself once to follow-up before telling my boss and they blew me off again.

I had a similar experience with Orbitz. They fucked up my hotel reservation and were dicking me around about it, so I experimented. I called twice being polite... and I was blown off. I called again this time angry, direct, and forward, and they fixed my reservation on the spot.

 

[Cogman]

Some service people suck. If you aren't rude, they aren't listening. People would be yelled at much less if they would, you know, react when asked politely.

 

[Blackjack200]

Unfortunately, I think you're right and it's necessary sometimes. It's not in my nature either. Just don't do this at work. If someone in another area is not being responsive, go to your boss and let them know. These things can get very political and ugly if you just try to take care of it yourself.

 

[OCGuy]

Treat 'em rough, you get the muff.

 

[dfuze]

Sometimes its necessary and sometimes it can backfire. You just have to learn to know when to use it and when not to because it can cause others to dig their heels in harder.

 

[vi edit]

Sometimes its necessary and sometimes it can backfire. You just have to learn to know when to use it and when not to because it can cause others to dig their heels in harder.

Yeh having worked both sides of the phone, people who open up screaming, yelling and berating are going to immediately get the person on the other end of the phone defensive. It's not helping either of you.

The key to getting what you want is to not take it out the poor bastard on the other end. You can get mad, cuss, whatever. Just don't make it personal and turn them into a punching bag for something that somebody else had done.

 

[highland145]

The USPO has a web service to do mailings. Upload your list/letter and they take care of it all for a fee. Well, they changed their format and lost my list (not my letters though). Told me it was gone and "nothing they could do." Called my congressional field rep (aka the wife) and she called a regional supervisor.

Ring, ring "Mr Highland, you must know someone important. Oh, and we found your list."

 

[AstroManLuca]

%%

Unfortunately some people are idiots about this. Someone I know bought a car recently and his dad went with him to the dealership and immediately began complaining and bitching about everything, telling him that it's the only way to be taken seriously.

It's one thing to be firm when people push you, but there are some people who are just dickheads 100% of the time.

 

[moshquerade]

Sometimes though... you can kill them with kindness. Be harsh and people may not accommodate you for spite.

 

[PingSpike]

I always lead with the kind approach. I can also be an asshole later. It's pretty hard though...with some companies by the time I pick up the phone I don't really want to talk into it...I want to use it to bludgeon some one.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

I act nice at first, but if they look like they are going to be jerkoffs, then I turn on the cold stare and words. When they comply I thank them for it with a little sarcasm just so they know who's in control.

 

[speg]

In this case, it wasn't up to you. You can't just walk into a psot office and pick up other people's mail...

 

[DayLaPaul]

Not to point out the obvious, but that's why he's the boss and you're the lackey. He probably knows when to be polite and when to be firm. That, and his idea of being firm is probably a whole lot more eloquent than "OMGWTFBBQ give me my mail."

 

[DaveSimmons]

Dalton: I want you to be nice.. until it's time..to not be nice

 

[Scouzer]

Not to point out the obvious, but that's why he's the boss and you're the lackey. He probably knows when to be polite and when to be firm. That, and his idea of being firm is probably a whole lot more eloquent than "OMGWTFBBQ give me my mail."

That's the funny thing... he's not. He gets really mad. lol

 

[lxskllr]

I have a hard time being an asshole, but I can be the biggest asshole in the world if someone tries jerking me around. I'm very nice and accommodating up to a point, but once that point's crossed, I'm ruining days :^D

 

[Meghan54]

Always start out nice. Rarely do I have to resort to rude. But did a few times with FedEx.....an overnight delivery that took 4 days to get delivered because the driver felt my house was just too far out to drive to.

 

[Whisper]

I don't know that rudeness will work more times than not, but knowing how to be firm, direct, and assertive is definitely a life skill; it's actually also possible to be assertive and firm while still being polite and respectful of the other person.

However, if said other person is just in a sh!tty mood and all the assertiveness in the world won't affect them, that's when you need to break out the dickishness.

 

[GasX]

Dalton: I want you to be nice.. until it's time..to not be nice

+25 points for slipping a mother fucking Roadhouse reference in to a thread

 

[JEDI]

I had a similar experience with Orbitz. They fucked up my hotel reservation and were dicking me around about it, so I experimented. I called twice being polite... and I was blown off. I called again this time angry, direct, and forward, and they fixed my reservation on the spot.

define angry, direct, and forward?

 

[ModerateRepZero]

being polite yet no-nonsense is almost always better than being flat-out rude. the reason being that some people can mistake politeness to mean being a doormat, but being no-nonsense / a bit firm will let all but the most obtuse people realize that just 'cause you're polite doesn't make you a softie.

and as some people already pointed out, being rude and obnoxious, especially from the get-go, can easily backfire and cause people to refuse to help you out of spite....or take their time. that's especially true if you make it personal (ie. telling them they're incompetent )&%! within the first 3 sentences you speak).

 

[PingSpike]

define angry, direct, and forward?

My angry fist moves directly forward into your throat!

 

[Genx87]

Making people uncomfortable will make them do things outside what they would normall do. I heard a story about some hackers back in the 90s that would pretend to be eletricians or something in order to gain access. The receptionist wouldnt let them through. So one of them would drop their tools and show his ass crack to her as he picked up the tools. This got her so ruffled she hushed them in and they got access to what they wanted.

 

[DesiPower]

If you are dealing with lazy ppl, you have to be rude.

 

[SViper]

I don't know that rudeness will work more times than not, but knowing how to be firm, direct, and assertive is definitely a life skill; it's actually also possible to be assertive and firm while still being polite and respectful of the other person.

However, if said other person is just in a sh!tty mood and all the assertiveness in the world won't affect them, that's when you need to break out the dickishness.

Bolded the important part. You can be firm and assertive without being rude, and it is definitely a life skill. As long as you don't directly attack the people you are working with and force them on the defensive, they would be willing to help in most cases.