It Could Happen To You

[zsdersw]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR9gyloyOjM

Sad. Wills might have given Shane some legal significance, but given how strident Tom's family was, all bets are off.

 

[Doppel]

I stopped this 10 minute video at 20 seconds. What is this about?

 

[zsdersw]

I stopped this 10 minute video at 20 seconds. What is this about?

Tom Bridegroom was in a committed relationship with Shane Bitney Crone for 6 years, they started a business together, bought a house, and were the ideal couple until an untimely accident took Tom's life and the violent/threatening reaction from Tom's family to him coming out resulted in Shane being totally cut off from Tom after his death. They didn't have wills and couldn't get married, so Tom's family was able to take all of Tom's stuff, the hospital denied Shane access to Tom's information, and Tom's family threatened Shane if he showed up to Tom's funeral.

 

[nehalem256]

Tom Bridegroom was in a committed relationship with Shane Bitney Crone for 6 years, they started a business together, bought a house, and were the ideal couple until an untimely accident took Tom's life and the violent/threatening reaction from Tom's family to him coming out resulted in Shane being totally cut off from Tom after his death. They didn't have wills and couldn't get married, so Tom's family was able to take all of Tom's stuff, the hospital denied Shane access to Tom's information, and Tom's family threatened Shane if he showed up to Tom's funeral.

That is usually how death works

And everything you describe could just as easily happen to 2 straight friends or an unmarried heterosexual couple (you do realize there are heterosexual couples that choose to live together unmarried for years rights)?

 

[Jaskalas]

Is there a law that covers couples who do not get married?

What about wills and/or contracts? Refusing to do that is akin to not getting married.

 

[nehalem256]

And of course gay people could have fixed all the problems you are describing if they had had the sense of creating a "Gay Commitment Contract" that gay couples could have easily and legally signed years ago...

But then how could they whine for the "right" to get married?

 

[dank69]

Was Shane named as part owner of the business or house?

 

[Matt1970]

So the lesson for today is to get a will.

 

[Genx87]

My understanding is a will can be crafted regardless of marriage status. I could give all of my estate to my cats. I didnt watch the video and only taking what the OP is saying. I could happen to any of us. Estate planning should be taken seriously.

 

[zsdersw]

That is usually how death works

Unfortunately for us, your death hasn't come yet.

And everything you describe could just as easily happen to 2 straight friends

Extremely unlikely, to the point of irrelevance.

or an unmarried heterosexual couple (you do realize there are heterosexual couples that choose to live together unmarried for years rights)?

Of course. Nowhere was it said that this is a gays-only thing.

 

[nehalem256]

So the lesson for today is to get a will.

Stupid is as stupid does.

I almost wonder if gay people are purposefully stupid so they can whine about the problems to extort society into letting them get married.

 

[zsdersw]

So the lesson for today is to get a will.

Yes... and threats of violence should be responded to in kind.

 

[zsdersw]

I almost wonder if gay people are purposefully stupid so they can whine about the problems to extort society into letting them get married.

I'm sure there's no "almost" about it for you. You're just that big of an asshole.

 

[nehalem256]

I'm sure there's no "almost" about it for you. You're just that big of an asshole.

So how else do you explain why the gay community has not created a common "Gay Commitment Contract" that would allow a gay couple to name each other as medical proxy, recipient of property at death(will), executor of estate, etc...

 

[zsdersw]

So how else do you explain why the gay community has not created a common "Gay Commitment Contract" that would allow a gay couple to name each other as medical proxy, recipient of property at death(will), executor of estate, etc...

I don't know. Why do 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the same thing?

It probably has something to do with the fact that gay relationships are just as worthy of the same legal status as straight ones.

 

[Matt1970]

Yes... and threats of violence should be responded to in kind.

I do not condone the actions of his family here but if he had a will than he could put his partner in charge of everything including the funeral. Playing the gay sympathy card is just an excuse here for a lack of planning.

Unfortunately for us, your death hasn't come yet.

Really?

 

[zsdersw]

Really?

If he/she/it can be flippant about death, so can I.

 

[cubby1223]

Tom Bridegroom was in a committed relationship with Shane Bitney Crone for 6 years, they started a business together, bought a house, and were the ideal couple until an untimely accident took Tom's life and the violent/threatening reaction from Tom's family to him coming out resulted in Shane being totally cut off from Tom after his death. They didn't have wills and couldn't get married, so Tom's family was able to take all of Tom's stuff, the hospital denied Shane access to Tom's information, and Tom's family threatened Shane if he showed up to Tom's funeral.

From the family's perspective, Tom has been largely secretive for the past 6 years, began a business, bought a house, lived with another person, and apparently did this all without anyone knowing he was in a relationship. Considering the relationship was such a huge part of his life (started a business together), Tom could not have had much contact at all with his family.

The family essentially lost Tom, long before the accident and death.

The family is going to be angry and hold resentments regardless if Tom was in a relationship with a man or a woman. It takes time for individuals to process all this information. It is a slow process.

This is far from an ideal couple. The ideal couple is a relationship along with supporting families who are a part of each others lives. That was not the case here.

 

[runzwithsizorz]

I don't know. Why do 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the same thing?

It probably has something to do with the fact that gay relationships are just as worthy of the same legal status as straight ones.

You would think that if one, or both of the *couples* families hated you, they would have gone to an attorney early on in the relationship.
As my girl friend, and I did some 20 years ago. I know that if she were to pass on before me, her kids would be here the day after the funeral to throw my clothes in the street.

 

[zsdersw]

From the family's perspective, Tom has been largely secretive for the past 6 years, began a business, bought a house, lived with another person, and apparently did this all without anyone knowing he was in a relationship.

The family essentially lost Tom, long before the accident and death.

From what's in the video, the estrangement between Tom and his family started after he came out to them. The family is just as responsible for losing Tom as Tom is.

The family is going to be angry and hold resentments regardless if Tom was in a relationship with a man or a woman. It takes time for individuals to process all this information. It is a slow process.

Anger and resentment are one thing, holding a gun to someone's head and threatening to attack if the gay partner attends the funeral are quite another.

This is far from an ideal couple. The ideal couple is a relationship along with supporting families who are a part of each others lives. That was not the case here.

That's your opinion. I'd say their relationship is a hell of a lot closer to ideal than most relationships are these days.

 

[Matt1970]

If he/she/it can be flippant about death, so can I.

If that is where you want to set the bar.

 

[halik]

No it could not, I am unmarried, but have a will. How about your stop blaming the state for shit you should be taking care of yourself?

 

[nehalem256]

I don't know. Why do 'flammable' and 'inflammable' mean the same thing?

It probably has something to do with the fact that gay relationships are just as worthy of the same legal status as straight ones.

And that answers my question:

So how else do you explain why the gay community has not created a common "Gay Commitment Contract" that would allow a gay couple to name each other as medical proxy, recipient of property at death(will), executor of estate, etc...

how exactly?

 

[zsdersw]

And that answers my question:

how exactly?

You already know the answer to your stupid question, and we've been over it a million times in a million other threads and you've been wrong a million times within each of those threads.

Because they want to be able to get legally married.

 

[zsdersw]

If that is where you want to set the bar.

With him I do.