I'm sorry that that was your experience; I'm sure there are plenty of communities that maintain an us/them mentality and not limited just to Jews.
My own experience with Jewish people (here in the U.S.) has been considerably more positive. Admittedly, my neighbors were very "guarded" initially, even standoffish. But over time and being a good neighbor we were able to establish a rapport and mutual respect. We had to acknowledge our differences in faith as I am a Christian, but I came to appreciate their rich heritage and extensive knowledge of the Old Testament, eventually being invited to share in the Pesach or Passover meal. It was quite meaningful to me and I miss my friends very much.
Let me take a bit of time with this, as I'm taking about a particularly extreme group, and the point is delicate.
What I'm not taking about is the average observant/moderate groups of people. In currently in the NE, and I have friends and coworkers from every corner of the globe. That's how it is around here, and it's very enlightening to be able to really know people from such diverse backgrounds.
However, in that diversity, you also get some groups who are not that fantastic, and just want to import the same bullshit that screwed up their home countries in the first place. I'm sure you have examples from your neck of the woods.
One particularly notable example of this is this
little town in upstate NY not far from West Point academy. I don't want to retell the whole tale, and the wiki page/Google is loaded with info, but I have a strong argument that this is an unusual place in the US.
Notable cliffs:
-Hasidic village (KJ) and surrounding towns are at constant legal war over segregationist policies of the orthodox.
-
Poorest town in America. Half of the residents receive food stamps, and one third receive Medicaid benefits and rely on federal vouchers to help pay their housing costs. Over 90% are on some subsidized healthcare.
-KJ (pop 20000) ranks at the top in the country at
lobbying the national govt Needless to say they tend to be very successful at getting public funds
-lawsuits over building
gender segregated playground (yes pink and blue equipment) using shadowy sources of public funds.
-Strict religious views on the roles of women, importance of secular education, and integration with the greater community. Ie, backwards visions of them.
Point of all this? Some of these orthodox groups are very extreme and entangle strict religious views with govt and many aspects of public life, as well as absolutist in their views of who belongs to the community and how they should behave. One would be tempted to compare it to sharia.
Israel is a collection of groups from all over the globe, and we shouldn't assume they all share our views or interests.
Ultra orthodox make up a sizable portion of the country and have considerable political influence.
We need to pay more attention to the complexities of the groups fighting over there and who we are funding, and not just take the simplistic view of the good guy secular, capitalist Israelis fighting the bloodthirsty savage Muslim terrorists. There are good and bad guys on both sides, and being so blind to it does not serve us or the situation well.