Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

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A

AMDJunkie

Diamond Member
Dec 6, 1999
3,431
5
81
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.
 
A

AMDJunkie

Diamond Member
Dec 6, 1999
3,431
5
81
You know it's gonna happen, sing it with me boys:

I bet they won't play this song on the radio.
I bet you they won't play this new (bleep) song.
It's not that it's (bleep) or (bleep) controversial,
Just that the (bleep)ing words are awfully strong.
You can't say (bleep) on the radio,
Or (bleep) or (bleep) or (bleep).
You can't even say I'd like to (bleep) you some day
Unless you're a doctor with a very large (bleep).
So, I bet you they won't play this song on the radio.
I bet you they daren't (bleep)ing well programme it.
I bet you their (bleep)ing old programme directors
Will think it's a load of horse (bleep).


 
K

kduncan5

Golden Member
Apr 22, 2000
1,794
0
0
It does make it quite a bit easier when you're out in the woods, and nature calls.....:p -kd5-
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
That's not fair, I want one too now! I am going to throw a tantrum until I get one. :p

AMD: I never saw that before, lol. That's cute. :D
 
Z

zippy

Diamond Member
Nov 10, 1999
9,998
1
0
Isla...too much information...I don't want to hear about your {bleep)!

Didn't eminem say that we can't expect 4th graders not to know about a woman's (bleep)...ya know the same (bleep) that Isla seems to be talking about!
 
C

Cable God

Diamond Member
Jun 25, 2000
3,251
0
71
Why did I know GF would be the FIRSTfemale to respond to this? I guess I must be psychic ;)
 
Y

Yeeny

Lifer
Feb 2, 2000
10,848
2
0
Edited for length ;)

If I had a penis
I'd wear it outside
In cafes and car lots
With pomp and with pride
If I had a penis
I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub
And use me as a stopper

If I had a penis
I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it
And shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows
And teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys
On Thanksgiving Day

I'd rival my buddies
In sports cars and stick shifts
I'd shower my spire
With girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
I'd soap it and oil it

I'd sit like a boy
I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly
Albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate
I'd stick it in sockets
I'd stroll to the movies
With hands deep in pockets

If I had a penis
I'd still be a girl
But I'd make much more money
And conquer the world

<edit> cablegod: PFFFTTT! :p
 
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