Is this suicidal? Do you think about this often?

[J.Wilkins]

A good friend of mine killed herself simply because she was bored with life. I knew she was going to do it and told her that I'll miss her.

I'm fairly done with this world but I have responsibilities and a family that needs me so I'll stick around.

Coming to terms with your own mortality and letting go of the fear of death does lead to acceptance of the inevitable and everyone who is at that point will embrace the idea of dying at times. It's not a bad thing at all IMO.

 

[BurnItDwn]

It's one thing to feel tired, burnt out, used up, low batteries, just wanting to take a break.
It's another to want to end it all, or to look forward to it.

I think it's normal to contemplates your existence, but sounds like you are fighting some depression.

I look forward to being able to retire in the future some day, but not to death. Death scares the shit of of me.

 

[J.Wilkins]

It's one thing to feel tired, burnt out, used up, low batteries, just wanting to take a break.
It's another to want to end it all, or to look forward to it.

I think it's normal to contemplates your existence, but sounds like you are fighting some depression.

I look forward to being able to retire in the future some day, but not to death. Death scares the shit of of me.

Well there is nothing wrong with looking forward to it either but naturally someone who fears it cannot understand why anyone would do so and thus think that they must be depressed.

I'm not depressed in the least but I look forward to it at times.

 

[Cappuccino]

I feel suicidal when I see my bank statements every month.

 

[ch33zw1z]

Goodbye cruel world, until then
...shine on you crazy diamond

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Some of you need to reexamine your definition of mental illness.

 

[feralkid]

Can't say I've every really thought that. Still too much to see and do



Screw you - I am a real person with like feelings and shit

Shit is good; it means you are still alive. Once we stop pooping, the rest falls apart in fairly short order.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I feel suicidal when I see my bank statements every month.

For me it's when I see my hydro bill. I think of suicide via electrocution but then realize I would not be able to actually afford to do that.

 

[gorcorps]

I'm in the middle of watching 13 reasons why... And I'm really torn about helping the op in some fashion so he gets pushed into talking to someone. I'm developing this fear that somebody I know (whether it's somebody I know well or just a digital passerby I only recognize by username) will end up hurting themselves and I'll realize too late that there were plenty of warning signs that were ignored.

Is this one of those moments?

 

[Zeze]

I'm in the middle of watching 13 reasons why... And I'm really torn about helping the op in some fashion so he gets pushed into talking to someone. I'm developing this fear that somebody I know (whether it's somebody I know well or just a digital passerby I only recognize by username) will end up hurting themselves and I'll realize too late that there were plenty of warning signs that were ignored.

Is this one of those moments?

Thanks for your concerns guys. Nope, I won't kill myself LOL. I'm not hiding behind a front either. I HAVE been depressed before and I'm pretty outspoken about it (i.e. man I feel awful, this sucks).

Like I said, I'm a dad of 2 kids & wife. I love them all dearly and I have an amazing relationship with my folks as well.

I think I'm a loner at heart, with contradicting social cravings (isn't this the eternal struggle of most introverts?). Coupled with this + recent fatherhood, I'm just... tired. Not just physically, but mentally.

I think I'm still reeling from no longer having a bachelor life. And I didn't even have such a 'glorious' bachelor life either. I just miss prioritizing ME first- play video games all weekend, go to sleep whenever I want, wake up whenever I want.

I'm just exhausted. I actually took 2 days off just to be alone while wife and kid was at daycare. It helped but not totally.

 

[ch33zw1z]

You need a hobby.

As the kids get older, do a hobby with them, but not necessarily something they HAVE to do.

My sons are into all sorts of stuff.

The two big things this year was pinewood derby for cub scouts, and yes....you can really get into it.

And guitar...I started playing this year, and they want to also.

It's tough to give it your all, every day sometimes, but it's the choice you made having children.

Soon enougb, they'll be grown enough to not want you around, generally fend for themselves, and you'll have more free time again.

 

[Red Squirrel]

Wait till they're old enough to be in hockey and other sports - sometimes at the same time.

I don't know how my sister and her husband do it. I would go insane being so constantly busy. I'm the type of person that likes time to myself. They don't stop, they always have something going on.

 

[ch33zw1z]

Wait till they're old enough to be in hockey and other sports - sometimes at the same time.

I don't know how my sister and her husband do it. I would go insane being so constantly busy. I'm the type of person that likes time to myself. They don't stop, they always have something going on.

We definitely don't force our kids to do stuff. Other parents are very demanding on their children at times.

I just want them to play, learn, and be happy. If it's something they're into, then I encourage it.

Edit: not saying your family is pushing them, I hear hockey is pretty popular up your way

 

[Mai72]

It's ok

 

[Linux23]

Yep, I feel the same way. Fuck these bills, people whining, Trump, dumb asses, crazy family, Trump.

Dieing is not as bad as people think. More of a relief to be honest.