Is this sentence grammatically correct?

Noo

Senior member
Oct 11, 2013
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See below as English is not my first language, sorry.

More importantly, when collecting material evidence used to substantiate a disciplinary action; the omission of seemingly trivial or menial information, can result in devastating damage to management’s position.
 

Ken g6

Programming Moderator, Elite Member
Moderator
Dec 11, 1999
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I, see, a, problem.

"when collecting material evidence used to substantiate a disciplinary action" is a parenthetical phrase. Therefore, as in this sentence, commas should be used like parentheses. Later in the sentence, the last comma just doesn't belong.

More importantly, when collecting material evidence used to substantiate a disciplinary action;, the omission of seemingly trivial or menial information, can result in devastating damage to management’s position.
 
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OccamsToothbrush

Golden Member
Aug 21, 2005
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It's close. As Ken said, that comma after "information" doesn't belong and neither does the semi-colon after action. The word menial is misused and can be taken out entirely and that "can result in devastating damage" phrase seems awkward.


More importantly, when collecting material evidence used to substantiate a disciplinary action the omission of seemingly trivial information can damage management’s position.

Is more accurate, more clear and easier to read.
 
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