is this sentence grammatically correct?

[skim milk]

possible help with finding a better way to word it?

"I just wanted to sincerely ask that I be considered as a...."

 

[Mill]

Very awkward.

 

[skim milk]

Originally posted by: Mill
Very awkward.

thought so... the "I be" part

 

[wfbberzerker]

get rid of "just wanted to"

 

[mobobuff]

"I sincerely wish that I may be considered as a...."

 

[toekramp]

Originally posted by: mobobuff
"I sincerely wish that I may be considered as a...."

 

[notfred]

The word 'sincerely' has a way of sounding very insincere.

 

[Baked]

That's too wordy. Use this -

Consider me or die, motherfvcker.

 

[wahoyaho]

Originally posted by: mobobuff
"I sincerely wish that I may be considered as a...."

winnar

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

Originally posted by: fritolays

Originally posted by: Mill
Very awkward.

thought so... the "I be" part

There's nothing wrong with that.

However, rephrasing would still be required per readability in preventing awkward phrases like this. First of all, don't use wanted. You still want, so don't use the past tense.

"I want to ask that I be considered as a..." would be my ultimate recommendation.

 

[dafatha00]

Originally posted by: toekramp

Originally posted by: mobobuff
"I sincerely wish that I may be considered as a...."

 

[mobobuff]

Originally posted by: Nik

Originally posted by: fritolays

Originally posted by: Mill
Very awkward.

thought so... the "I be" part

There's nothing wrong with that.

However, rephrasing would still be required per readability in preventing awkward phrases like this. First of all, don't use wanted. You still want, so don't use the past tense.

"I want to ask that I be considered as a..." would be my ultimate recommendation.

I saw the entire paragraph he was writing, that wouldn't have sounded as good.

 

[NickE]

It's the old Star Trek problem of split infinitives - 'To boldly go', should be 'To go boldly'. So, 'I want to ask sincerely...', but it does sound very laboured and insincere when you have to use the word sincerely to make the point. Better is something like 'I would strongly urge you to consider me for this position...'; keeping it strong from your side and slightly insistent on what their action should be comes across much better than stated sincerity.

 

[BespinReactorShaft]

Originally posted by: mobobuff
I saw the entire paragraph he was writing, that wouldn't have sounded as good.

Then it would help if he show us the paragraph to better put things into context.

 

[classy]

There is no error in the sentence. But it could have been worded better.

 

[blackdogdeek]

i sincerely hope you consider me as a candidate for fluffer in your next pr0no.

just as a preference, active sentences sound better than passive ones. ie - changing "i be considered" to "consider me". also, "hope" sounds a little more mature than "wish".

this is just my opinion, however. there is nothing grammatically wrong with your phrase.

 

[rh71]

Ii'd sincerely like you to consider me as a

or

I'd sincerely like to be considered for the ... position. (depends on the context there)

 

[royaldank]

Originally posted by: Nik
"I want to ask that I be considered as a..." would be my ultimate recommendation.

Why have the "want to" in there? It's pointless and adds nothing.

"Please consider me..." might be better.

 

[Juice Box]

Originally posted by: toekramp

Originally posted by: mobobuff
"I sincerely wish that I may be considered as a...."

 

[Kev]

I think it should be:

"I just sincerely wish that you could think that I am to be considered as a "