• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

is there a correlation between spending a lot on a wedding and having it be good?

N

nageov3t

Lifer
I was thinking about it, reading that "expensive wedding" thread... I think the best wedding I've ever been to was my bff from college's wedding out in Appalachia.

the ceremony was out in a field overlooking a cliff, and afterward everyone walked about half a mile down the road to my friend's parents' farm where we had bbq, some kegs, and dancing in their barn :beer:
 
Sounds good for my next one. Although the first was very fun and we spent very little. It helps when your mom owns a nice restaurant that does banquets.
 
I just got married a couple of months ago and I have attended quite a few other weddings. I think there does reach a point of diminishing returns. Having good food and a great open bar does cost cash and as such those weddings that splurge on good food and good drink may have a tendency to result in a better time. I do think, though, there comes a point where spending a shit ton of money on decor doesn't necessarily make for a better time.

For instance at our wedding we had a pig roast BBQ for the reception dinner which ended up being way cheaper than a "normal" reception dinner and I it went very, very well. At our reception we didn't pay for a DJ but rather we roped in some guy to manage iTunes for the night. It went over well even though we didn't shell out cash for live entertainment.

In summary I think as long as the basics are taken care of (i.e. food, drink, and decent location) then you can have a great time without going too terribly overboard in terms of spending.
 
Originally posted by: Babbles
I just got married a couple of months ago and I have attended quite a few other weddings. I think there does reach a point of diminishing returns. Having good food and a great open bar does cost cash and as such those weddings that splurge on good food and good drink may have a tendency to result in a better time. I do think, though, there comes a point where spending a shit ton of money on decor doesn't necessarily make for a better time.

For instance at our wedding we had a pig roast BBQ for the reception dinner which ended up being way cheaper than a "normal" reception dinner and I it went very, very well. At our reception we didn't pay for a DJ but rather we roped in some guy to manage iTunes for the night. It went over well even though we didn't shell out cash for live entertainment.

In summary I think as long as the basics are taken care of (i.e. food, drink, and decent location) then you can have a great time without going too terribly overboard in terms of spending.
Click to expand...

Heh, I had free venue, food and liquor at cost, free pastries, free DJ, could have had free photography, free flowers. Too bad I'm terrible at relationships.
 
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i'd rather see the correlation with divorce rate.
Click to expand...

I don't remember who made this claim, but the essense was that having a "big wedding" helped reinforce the live-changing importance (and hopefully uniqueness) of the marriage to the couple, and that this sense of importance would persist through the years and help keep the couple focused on preserving their relationship.

I believe a similar claim was made for funerals: that a "big funeral" acknowledges the importance of the person's passing to those who attend and helps them better cope with their feelings.

Seems reasonable (at least to me) 🙂
 
Originally posted by: PowerEngineer
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i'd rather see the correlation with divorce rate.
Click to expand...

I don't remember who made this claim, but the essense was that having a "big wedding" helped reinforce the live-changing importance (and hopefully uniqueness) of the marriage to the couple, and that this sense of importance would persist through the years and help keep the couple focused on preserving their relationship.

I believe a similar claim was made for funerals: that a "big funeral" acknowledges the importance of the person's passing to those who attend and helps them better cope with their feelings.

Seems reasonable (at least to me) 🙂
Click to expand...

Load of crap, big funeral is like an e-penis; same as a flashy wedding. What matters is what is in the hearts of the couple getting married and in the hearts of the mourners at a funeral. Many times people fall for the flashy funeral out of guilt, not because they loved someone more. Nothing wrong with a simple dignified send off, for either journey.
 
My parents just got married in their apartment by a justice of the peace, and they've been together for 30 years. So go figure on the fancy weddings.
 
venue and food are the most costly, everything else could be worked-around... our wedding venue + food (the asian 10-course meal) at a hotel cost $18k for 240 ppl. The rest cost $10k but if you know people that can help you out in some areas as substitutes it can reduce your costs. We didn't go all out on the other areas but it added up easily.

http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/9452/wedbudget.jpg

You want a fun wedding, make sure your DJ can MC a good party. I've been to a wedding where he couldn't even say the bride's name and all he did was spin his cd player.
 
I don't think so. My wife and I got married about a year before her sister. People still talk about how good ours was - especially the food. No one talks about their marriage and they easily spent 2x the money.
Can it help? Sure. Is it guaranteed that if you spend more money your wedding will be better> No.
 
It's the traditional solution for us: Throw money at a problem until it goes away.

My parents' wedding cost less than $25.
My mom made her own dress for about $15, and the charge from the Justice of the Peace was $7. Her mother brought flowers, and the guests (relatives and close friends) were asked to bring a food item. It was about 20 people, total.
The ceremony was held at a hiking club's meeting place, and they allowed use of the facility at no charge.

She said she preferred that style - "no stress, very simple."

I don't know how long they've been married now; I think it's at least 30 years.


An insanely expensive wedding doesn't ensure that a marriage will work.




Originally posted by: PowerEngineer
Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
i'd rather see the correlation with divorce rate.
Click to expand...

I don't remember who made this claim, but the essence was that having a "big wedding" helped reinforce the live-changing importance (and hopefully uniqueness) of the marriage to the couple, and that this sense of importance would persist through the years and help keep the couple focused on preserving their relationship.

I believe a similar claim was made for funerals: that a "big funeral" acknowledges the importance of the person's passing to those who attend and helps them better cope with their feelings.

Seems reasonable (at least to me) 🙂
Click to expand...
That, or else it could raise expectations.
"I paid $XX,XXX for this wedding, but I don't think I'm getting my money's-worth." That sort of thing.

My dad's one friend had a big, expensive wedding. But this friend and then-soon-to-be wife spent most of the ceremony arguing or not talking to each other. They are no longer married. Money was of no help.


 
Originally posted by: Babbles
I just got married a couple of months ago and I have attended quite a few other weddings. I think there does reach a point of diminishing returns. Having good food and a great open bar does cost cash and as such those weddings that splurge on good food and good drink may have a tendency to result in a better time. I do think, though, there comes a point where spending a shit ton of money on decor doesn't necessarily make for a better time.

For instance at our wedding we had a pig roast BBQ for the reception dinner which ended up being way cheaper than a "normal" reception dinner and I it went very, very well. At our reception we didn't pay for a DJ but rather we roped in some guy to manage iTunes for the night. It went over well even though we didn't shell out cash for live entertainment.

In summary I think as long as the basics are taken care of (i.e. food, drink, and decent location) then you can have a great time without going too terribly overboard in terms of spending.
Click to expand...

i'd say a good DJ can certainly make or break a wedding. went to a friend's wedding where everything was perfect but the DJ sucked balls. I mean blown out speakers, no beat mixing whatsoever, horrible music selection, etc. No one danced and basically sat around their respective tables.

I got married a couple weeks ago and it rained cats and dogs that day. I mean horrible horrible weather. We'd planned an outside ceremony/cocktail hour and that was a huge part of the day. Most of our guests were super excited about the outdoors part. The rain killed a lot of that. But come reception time, the DJ turned out to be excellent. Im not saying this because it was my wedding, but Ive never seen so many people on the dance floor. Everyone danced the night away and had a great time (myself and wife included). After the DJ finished playing the last song, everyone started chanting "One more song, one more song."
 
I don't think you need to break the bank, but I think that in order to have a good wedding, you need to spend some big bucks.

First, you need good food, and thats not cheap. You need a good DJ/band. You need a good venue and decorations. These things arent cheap.

And the open bar.....
 
Originally posted by: krunchykrome
I don't think you need to break the bank, but I think that in order to have a good wedding, you need to spend some big bucks.

First, you need good food, and thats not cheap. You need a good DJ/band. You need a good venue and decorations. These things arent cheap.

And the open bar.....
Click to expand...

I guess it depends on your definition of a good wedding... DJ/band, decorations, and an open bar seem like unnecessary frills to me. Cheap/free venues seem pretty plentiful. Good food can be cheap, you've just got to make it yourself 😛
 
I am amazed at the costs of photographers and videographers, yet how cheap the officiant and cake are.

Photo = $2k
Video = $2k
Officiant = $100
Amazing Huge Cake = $250
 
Originally posted by: Aharami
Originally posted by: Babbles
I just got married a couple of months ago and I have attended quite a few other weddings. I think there does reach a point of diminishing returns. Having good food and a great open bar does cost cash and as such those weddings that splurge on good food and good drink may have a tendency to result in a better time. I do think, though, there comes a point where spending a shit ton of money on decor doesn't necessarily make for a better time.

For instance at our wedding we had a pig roast BBQ for the reception dinner which ended up being way cheaper than a "normal" reception dinner and I it went very, very well. At our reception we didn't pay for a DJ but rather we roped in some guy to manage iTunes for the night. It went over well even though we didn't shell out cash for live entertainment.

In summary I think as long as the basics are taken care of (i.e. food, drink, and decent location) then you can have a great time without going too terribly overboard in terms of spending.
Click to expand...

i'd say a good DJ can certainly make or break a wedding. went to a friend's wedding where everything was perfect but the DJ sucked balls. I mean blown out speakers, no beat mixing whatsoever, horrible music selection, etc. No one danced and basically sat around their respective tables.

I got married a couple weeks ago and it rained cats and dogs that day. I mean horrible horrible weather. We'd planned an outside ceremony/cocktail hour and that was a huge part of the day. Most of our guests were super excited about the outdoors part. The rain killed a lot of that. But come reception time, the DJ turned out to be excellent. Im not saying this because it was my wedding, but Ive never seen so many people on the dance floor. Everyone danced the night away and had a great time (myself and wife included). After the DJ finished playing the last song, everyone started chanting "One more song, one more song."
Click to expand...

This is very true about DJs. We have been to many weddings where things went great with the exception of the DJ. In fact I don't think I have ever experienced a good DJ at a weeding.

We chose our "iTunes Wedding" to save some cash and we knew our guests. I am 31, the wife is 30 and the vast majority of our friends are in their late 20s and 30s. I don't think we had any teenagers there; had a few "tweens" and a bunch of our family people ranging from 50 to 80. We knew that the vast majority of people who were coming to our wedding really aren't the dance-floor dancing crowd.

How it panned out is that some people would dance, but most people enjoyed the open bar and just chit-chatted with music in the background.

Now with all of that being said, I think the key point is you have to know what type of guests you expect. If you got married in the early 20s and as such many of your friends are going to be younger - i.g. lots of teenagers and/or college aged kids - then you really may want more lively entertainment that a DJ could provide. Or even if not younger, if you and your friends are fans at hanging out at clubs then a DJ would likely be better.
 
Originally posted by: gar3555
The only reason people go to weddings is for free food and free booze.
Click to expand...

As I was telling the wife, I have come to the conclusion that being in a wedding totally sucks balls. However being at a wedding is pretty sweet . . . free food and booze.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top