Is she too young? I need your advice!!!

HappyFace

Diamond Member
Nov 2, 1999
6,265
5
81
About a month ago, my 19 year old friend started dating Johanna, a 17 year old girl He met online through AIM. Her birthday arrived one week later, and of course Ken drags me along. Although there were a few guys at the party, ratio of girls to guys was about 4 to 1 ( ;) ). It was shaping up to be better then first expected. So there I am, having a great time - the whole while hoping I might hook up with a 17-18 year old hottie. I was getting vibes from a few directions, but one girl in particular caught my attention. Taryn is only a few inches shorter then me, at approximately 5'8", has beautiful eyes and a very sweet smile. Although we didn't talk very much that night, I had the feeling we would again very soon. Less then one week later I was browsing around on AT, when an AIM message pops up. "Hey Danny, this is Taryn," she said. We hit it off right away, chatting for hours on end every night for the next several days. It seems that we have quite a bit in common, and share a similar sense of humor, style, and interests. When your best friend is dating her best friend, information gets around. I soon found out that she is obsessed with me, and hasn't been thinking or talking about much else as of late. Getting the first date is basically a sure thing.

So you're probably wondering, what the problem is. Things seem to be going really well, right? Well I come to find out that she is only 16 years, 7 months old. I was rather shocked, under the impression that she couldn't be less then 17. She's mentally and physically equal to the average 18 year old. The big kicker, my age-o-meter rolled over to the big 20 a mere few weeks ago.

Now let me explain something - I was born prematurely, and have always been physically about two to two and a half years behind my peers. At 16, I looked 13 - at 18, people would often ask what high school I attended. Now that I've forever left my teen years behind, I get mixed results in the "how old do I look" department. Some figure I'm no more then 17, other's have the impression that I'm older then 21. They seem surprised when I have to call for a liquor override. ( :confused: ) I personally agree with most, eighteen tops. I suppose that I'd look a bit older if I let my facial hair grow out, but the look really doesn't fit me. Besides, a lot of chicks seem to dig the baby face thing. This may be off topic, but here's a picture of me at hot or not dot com. (note: I totally shocked myself with a final score of 9.3 :cool: )

Ken is encouraging me to pursue a relationship with Taryn. He reasons, "age is only a number" and points out that she is physically and mentally far more mature then the average 16 year old. Furthermore, He seems to think my dating her would be okay, as long as we don't get sexually intimate. I wouldn't have a problem with keeping the snake in it's cage until she's eighteen and/or the eventual possibility of marriage. She's a real sweetie, so on one hand I'm seriously considering making a move. On the other, there's nearly a three and a half year age difference between the two of us. Several years down the road, most will consider such an age difference no big deal - many married couples are seperated in age by several years. Then again, at 16 she's still considered a minor and I am nearly old enough to legally buy alcohol.

All of this to ask your advice on my situation. Is she too young? Should I give the "let's be friends talk," or should I pursue an emotional and physical relationship greater then friendship?

The Plot Thickens:

On a side note, I've had a big time crush on a red headed hottie at work for nearly a year now. She's dropped a few hints that seem to suggest that she likes me (ala being called "sexxxY"), and I've caught her looking my way quite often. Then again she might be the type to flirt/tease. The only way to find out whether she's actually interested, is to ask her out. Why haven't I done so? You guessed it ... she's only a couple months older then Taryn.
 

jimmyhaha

Platinum Member
Jan 7, 2001
2,851
0
0
I will give u advice as soon as u post PIC of the girl u are bragging...

NO PIC, NO ADVICE, a diamond member should know the rulez..
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0
look up the age of consent laws for your state. if she's over the age of consent, then go for it, if not, don't.
 

HappyFace

Diamond Member
Nov 2, 1999
6,265
5
81


<< I will give u advice as soon as u post PIC of the girl u are bragging...

NO PIC, NO ADVICE, a diamond member should know the rulez..
>>

LoLs, sorry guy. Don't have a pic right now. :p
 

HappyFace

Diamond Member
Nov 2, 1999
6,265
5
81


<< look up the age of consent laws for your state. if she's over the age of consent, then go for it, if not, don't. >>

As I explained near the end of my post, I'm totally willing to not get sexual with her until she's 18.
 

gopunk

Lifer
Jul 7, 2001
29,239
2
0
yea, i've heard people say that before... all i can say is that things change.

so what state do you live in?
 

NaughtyusMaximus

Diamond Member
Oct 9, 1999
3,220
0
0
Keep it emotional till she's added a few years. Nothing wrong with being friends, but you have to remember that there's going to be some idolizing of you on her part because you're the "older man" - so it might be hard to keep her from wanting the sweet HappyFace love. My advice is to stay away from the cradle.
 

HappyFace

Diamond Member
Nov 2, 1999
6,265
5
81


<< yea, i've heard people say that before... all i can say is that things change.

so what state do you live in?
>>

Illinois. I'm pretty sure that the age of consent is 18 years old.
 

dionx

Diamond Member
Mar 11, 2001
3,500
1
81
nothing wrong with just hanging out. of course you'll prolly just have to do this till she is of consent (depending on the state) or she is 18. about a year longer to wait isnt too bad.
 

FriedToast

Golden Member
Apr 4, 2001
1,252
0
71
Go for it, guy. There are some 40 yr olds that act 13 and some 15 yr olds that act 30, so don't worry about age (IMO).

Just be careful. If she's "obsessed," then she could be trouble. Because if you, at any time, make her mad or angry, she could pull a nasty on you and say that you'd had sex w/ her. Doesn't matter if you had or not. Her story'll sound more plausible than yours to her parents and the cops, I'm sure. I've dated one 16 yr old and I would've (and still would even tho' we've been broken up for yearrrrrrrrrrrrrs) trusted her w/ my life. Any other 16 yr old... nada. It's just a matter of finding one you trust.

That being said, listen to your heart, but don't ignore your brain. If you use both, you'll be fine.
Good luck, m'man
 

bunker

Lifer
Apr 23, 2001
10,572
0
71
I say go for it as well. Just don't get nasty for another 5 months. One thing you have to look out for though....her parents. I'm sure you'll eventually meet them, and unless you guys lie to them about your age her dad will probably cut your nuts off. I know if my 16 year old daughter were dating a 20 year old I would. (my daughter's only -3 months old and I'm already talking like a dad)
 

SinfulWeeper

Diamond Member
Sep 2, 2000
4,567
11
81


<< About a month ago, my 19 year old friend started dating Johanna, a 17 year old girl He met online through AIM. Her birthday arrived one week later, and of course Ken drags me along. Although there were a few guys at the party, ratio of girls to guys was about 4 to 1 ( ;) ). It was shaping up to be better then first expected. So there I am, having a great time - the whole while hoping I might hook up with a 17-18 year old hottie. I was getting vibes from a few directions, but one girl in particular caught my attention. Taryn is only a few inches shorter then me, at approximately 5'8", has beautiful eyes and a very sweet smile. Although we didn't talk very much that night, I had the feeling we would again very soon. Less then one week later I was browsing around on AT, when an AIM message pops up. "Hey Danny, this is Taryn," she said. We hit it off right away, chatting for hours on end every night for the next several days. It seems that we have quite a bit in common, and share a similar sense of humor, style, and interests. When your best friend is dating her best friend, information gets around. I soon found out that she is obsessed with me, and hasn't been thinking or talking about much else as of late. Getting the first date is basically a sure thing.

So you're probably wondering, what the problem is. Things seem to be going really well, right? Well I come to find out that she is only 16 years, 7 months old. I was rather shocked, under the impression that she couldn't be less then 17. She's mentally and physically equal to the average 18 year old. The big kicker, my age-o-meter rolled over to the big 20 a mere few weeks ago.

Now let me explain something - I was born prematurely, and have always been physically about two to two and a half years behind my peers. At 16, I looked 13 - at 18, people would often ask what high school I attended. Now that I've forever left my teen years behind, I get mixed results in the "how old do I look" department. Some figure I'm no more then 17, other's have the impression that I'm older then 21. They seem surprised when I have to call for a liquor override. ( :confused: ) I personally agree with most, eighteen tops. I suppose that I'd look a bit older if I let my facial hair grow out, but the look really doesn't fit me. Besides, a lot of chicks seem to dig the baby face thing. This may be off topic, but here's a picture of me at hot or not dot com. (note: I totally shocked myself with a final score of 9.3 :cool: )

Ken is encouraging me to pursue a relationship with Taryn. He reasons, "age is only a number" and points out that she is physically and mentally far more mature then the average 16 year old. Furthermore, He seems to think my dating her would be okay, as long as we don't get sexually intimate. I wouldn't have a problem with keeping the snake in it's cage until she's eighteen and/or the eventual possibility of marriage. She's a real sweetie, so on one hand I'm seriously considering making a move. On the other, there's nearly a three and a half year age difference between the two of us. Several years down the road, most will consider such an age difference no big deal - many married couples are seperated in age by several years. Then again, at 16 she's still considered a minor and I am nearly old enough to legally buy alcohol.

All of this to ask your advice on my situation. Is she too young? Should I give the "let's be friends talk," or should I pursue an emotional and physical relationship greater then friendship?

The Plot Thickens:

On a side note, I've had a big time crush on a red headed hottie at work for nearly a year now. She's dropped a few hints that seem to suggest that she likes me (ala being called "sexxxY"), and I've caught her looking my way quite often. Then again she might be the type to flirt/tease. The only way to find out whether she's actually interested, is to ask her out. Why haven't I done so? You guessed it ... she's only a couple months older then Taryn.
>>



Take my advise, I am not that old and you do not want a relaitionship with a younger... girl. So far I am 0 and 7 with younger chicks working out.

On the other hand I have not found that... 'older chick' to prove me wrong. Although I have seen with my eyes the oposite true of my experience's.
Right now I am dateing a 32 year old while seeing a 19 year old on the side (probably why none of my relationships have worked...), and I am 26.

Point being there is never a age (unless you cut jailbait...) that is too young or old for you. The choice is up to you... but in my experience I have never seen nor been with an ugly red head...
 

Jzero

Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
18,834
1
0
The redhead! Hit the redhead!

No wait a minute......
Hold it right there......

Go for the other girl! The other girl!
and put the redhead in touch with me! :D
 

ElFenix

Elite Member
Super Moderator
Mar 20, 2000
102,380
8,509
126
just wait it out. 17 is alright i guess. personally i wouldn't date any chick that hadn't graduated highschool when i was in college.

actually, start on the red haired one cuz she'll be 17 sooner.
 

FreeAgent

Senior member
Nov 30, 2001
302
0
0

You should not mess with girls that are not legal. It may not besuch a good idea. If she is legal go for it!!


Know the law.
 

kranky

Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
21,019
156
106
Is there ANY 16-year-old girl that isn't physically and mentally more mature than average? No one ever seems to run into the "average" ones!

Look, you're too old for her. I'm sure you're a nice guy, and that she's a nice girl. But she's 16 1/2 and you're 20. You are working full-time and she's in high school. Even though you share some interests, it's not going to work.

Of course, ATOT is full of guys who see all girls as sperm receptacles, so they are going to say just hit it. You could no doubt do that. Even though you say you wouldn't get sexual with her, what are you going to do if she wants to? This has all the potential to become a screwed-up situation, and my advice is to move on. Good luck.
 

FreeAgent

Senior member
Nov 30, 2001
302
0
0
<<Is there ANY 16-year-old girl that isn't physically and mentally more mature than average? No one ever seems to run into the "average" ones!

Look, you're too old for her. I'm sure you're a nice guy, and that she's a nice girl. But she's 16 1/2 and you're 20. You are working full-time and she's in high school. Even though you share some interests, it's not going to work.

Of course, ATOT is full of guys who see all girls as sperm receptacles, so they are going to say just hit it. You could no doubt do that. Even though you say you wouldn't get sexual with her, what are you going to do if she wants to? This has all the potential to become a screwed-up situation, and my advice is to move on. Good luck.>>


The most valid point yet. It will not work for you. You are better off finding someone your age. 16 1/2 is still a little girl no matter what she looks like or acts like. Girls seem to mature faster, but don't be fooled she's just a girl.. It would be an unwise decision.

 

Freejack2

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2000
7,751
8
81
Age of consent laws
According to that chart it's 17 in Illinois.
If you choose to pursue this girl be very very careful. Even touching her inappropriately can land you in Jail.
Had a friend a few years ago who was messing around with a 16 year old girl. Had the girl's mother found out he would have been in jail.
I don't know what inappropriate is defined as but it could be as little as kissing her.

There is a saying... 16 will get you 10 to 20 (years in jail)
Remember that.