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Is Sean Connery gonna have to choke a &$^#&?

NFS4

NFS4

No Lifer
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/...05/02/sean_connery_beats_up_women.html

Sean Connery's ex-wife has written an autobiography, and in it makes claims that Connery used to beat her.

According to an interview in the London Times, Cilento writes that in 1965, after she danced with a wedding party at a hotel in Spain where the couple was staying, she returned to her room and felt a blow to the face and Connery knocked her to the floor. ?She got to her feet, but a second blow knocked her back,? reports the paper.

Connery has always denied that he hit his wife, but that year he was quoted in Playboy as saying, ?I don?t think there is anything particularly wrong in hitting a woman, though I don?t recommend you do it in the same way you hit a man.? And in 1993, he was quoted In Vanity Fair as saying ?Sometimes there are women who take it to the wire. That?s what they are looking for ? the ultimate confrontation. They want a smack.? Connery has said that those comments were taken out of context.

?It has been gone over millions of times,? Cilento told the London Times, ?but what?s in the book is exactly what happened. I wouldn?t have said anything about it if Sean hadn?t done all those interviews about slapping ladies around.?

That's the difference between the real James Bond and the trained monkey they've got playing the current one. I'm not saying it's okay to hit women, but it just feels okay when James Bond does it. Whether he's hitting you or humping you, you know you're in for the ride of your life. Besides, it's impossible to be mad at a guy who has a watch that shoots lasers out of it.
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Originally posted by: tfinch2
A kitten is killed everytime someone impersonates Dave Chappelle or something relating to his show.
Click to expand...

Only that wasn't Dave Chappelle, genius:laugh:
 
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: tfinch2
A kitten is killed everytime someone impersonates Dave Chappelle or something relating to his show.
Click to expand...

Only that wasn't Dave Chappelle, genius:laugh:
Click to expand...

Did you even read what I wrote genius? Last time I checked "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" was said by Wayne Brady on the Dave Chappelle show.
 
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: tfinch2
A kitten is killed everytime someone impersonates Dave Chappelle or something relating to his show.
Click to expand...

Only that wasn't Dave Chappelle, genius:laugh:
Click to expand...

Did you even read what I wrote genius? Last time I checked "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" was said by Wayne Brady on the Dave Chappelle show.
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Sorry, I was blinded by Connery's bad breath:
Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 02:57 PM

Sean Connery has WICKED bad breath. I met him at a fundraiser several years ago and it nearly melted the plastic cup I was holding. It was almost like getting smacked in the face. But worse.
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:laugh:
 
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: tfinch2
Originally posted by: NFS4
Originally posted by: tfinch2
A kitten is killed everytime someone impersonates Dave Chappelle or something relating to his show.
Click to expand...

Only that wasn't Dave Chappelle, genius:laugh:
Click to expand...

Did you even read what I wrote genius? Last time I checked "Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?" was said by Wayne Brady on the Dave Chappelle show.
Click to expand...

Sorry, I was blinded by Connery's bad breath:
Posted by sweetcheeks on May 2, 2006 02:57 PM

Sean Connery has WICKED bad breath. I met him at a fundraiser several years ago and it nearly melted the plastic cup I was holding. It was almost like getting smacked in the face. But worse.
Click to expand...
:laugh:
Click to expand...

Bahaha :laugh:
 
Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot, decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire, and network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken and miserable man. Let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery has set a new Jeopardy record for futility with..

Sean Connery: Suck on it Trebek. Suck it long, and suck it hard.

Alex Trebek: That's beautiful. You kiss your mother with that mouth.

Sean Connery: No, but I did something to your mother with this mouth! [ points to mouth ]

Alex Trebek: Why? Keanu Reeves has an impressive -$32,000.
Keanu Reeves: I know Kung Fu.

Alex Trebek: For the last time, no you don't. And finally, Hilary Swank in a commanding lead with zero.

Hilary Swank: Did I win? Because there's some people I need to thank.

Alex Trebek: Let's just take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables"; "Foreign Flicks"; "Things Trebek Sucks"-wait! [ Connery is laughing. ] All right. [ Trebek walks over and takes down the hand-written "Things Trebek Sucks" sign. ] Let's continue..."Potpourri"; "Hot or Cold"; "What Ears Do"; "Is This A Hat"-that's where I name and object, and you tell whether or not it's a hat. And finally, "Colors That End In Urple". Hilary Swank, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.

Hilary Swank: I'm a girl you know.

Alex Trebek: [ shakes head ] Let's just go with Foreign Flicks for $800. [ Connery buzzes in. ]

Sean Connery: Ursula Andress.

Alex Trebek: What?

Sean Connery: Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice.

Alex Trebek: That's Foreign Flicks, Mr. Connery. Foreign Flicks. Mr. Reeves, why don't you pick?

Keanu Reeves: I shall take Balloons for $800, if you please.

Alex Trebek: That's not a category.

Keanu Reeves: My mistake. I shall choose Balloons for $600.

Alex Trebek: I tell you what, let's do Colors That End in Urple. For $800. This color ends in "urple". [ Swank buzzes in. ] Hilary Swank.

Hilary Swank: What is light urple?

Alex Trebek: [ shakes head ] Wow. [ Reeves buzzes in. ] Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves: I will venture a guess. Who is Jaleel White?

Alex Trebek: What?

Keanu Reeves: Is that not the gentlemen who played Urple, the humorous fellow with the glasses who loves cheese?

Alex Trebek: That's Urkel! [ Connery buzzes in. ] Oh good, Mr. Connery wants to say something.

Sean Connery: I thought of some more foreign ladies I snogged.

Alex Trebek: Let's just go to Hot or Cold for $400. And it's a Video Daily Double. Here goes nothing. Please take a look at your video monitors.

[ screen shows Ricky Martin and two dancers. They start dancing. ]

Ricky Martin: It's me! Come on, Ricky Martin! Come on! [ music starts ]. Oh my! In this cup there's some hot tea! It's hot hot hot! Watch! [ takes a sip ] Yow! Hot hot hot! So the answer is: Hot hot hot! or cold. Hot hot hot! or cold. Come on! Hot hot hot!

[ video fades ]. [ no one buzzes in. ]

Alex Trebek: None of you knows. No one can figure out if the hot tea is hot or cold. [ Reeves buzzes in. ] Thank God! Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves: Is it iced tea?

Alex Trebek: [ agitated ] No! It's hot tea!

Keanu Reeves: Well, then I have no idea.

Alex Trebek: Let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is...oh come on, why would they do this? The category is Famous Mothers.

Sean Connery: [ laughs ] My day has come! [ keeps laughing ]

Alex Trebek: [ rips card ] I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. [ Connery stops laughing. ] The new category is Anything. Write anything. [ music starts ] Just write. Use your arm, hand, and special pen, and move the pen around. Scribble if you want to, just make some kind of mark. [ music stops ] OK, let's get this over with. Sean Connery, you wrote down: Below. I don't know why you wrote that, but technically that's a correct answer. You did write something. Let's see what you wagered: Me. Below Me. [ Connery laughs ] Below Me...I don't get it.

Sean Connery: Oh, I'll bet you do, you Canadian ponch. [ slaps Trebek on the head. ]

Alex Trebek: Proud day for you and your family. Keanu Reeves, you look rather pleased. Let's see what you wrote down: [ a blank screen is revealed ] Nothing. The question was write anything, and you got it wrong. I'm speechless. Let's see what you wagered: Eleventy billion dollars. That's not even a real number.

Keanu Reeves: Yet.

Alex Trebek: That's simply amazing. And finally, Hilary Swank.

Hilary Swank: Thanks Alex. I'm so honored to have been here today, there's so many people I have to thank. [ camera shows a sobbing Chad Lowe in the audience. ] I couldn't have done it without Alex Trebek, the incredible cast and crew of Jeopardy, my publicist who is a beautiful human being...that's it.

Alex Trebek: Touching. That's all for Jeopardy; Regis, you can have them. Good night. [ Connery pushes Trebek as he walks by. ]
 
Originally posted by: MelikK
Alex Trebek: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot, decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire, and network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken and miserable man. Let's take a look at the scores. Sean Connery has set a new Jeopardy record for futility with..

Sean Connery: Suck on it Trebek. Suck it long, and suck it hard.

Alex Trebek: That's beautiful. You kiss your mother with that mouth.

Sean Connery: No, but I did something to your mother with this mouth! [ points to mouth ]

Alex Trebek: Why? Keanu Reeves has an impressive -$32,000.
Keanu Reeves: I know Kung Fu.

Alex Trebek: For the last time, no you don't. And finally, Hilary Swank in a commanding lead with zero.

Hilary Swank: Did I win? Because there's some people I need to thank.

Alex Trebek: Let's just take a look at the board. And the categories are: "Potent Potables"; "Foreign Flicks"; "Things Trebek Sucks"-wait! [ Connery is laughing. ] All right. [ Trebek walks over and takes down the hand-written "Things Trebek Sucks" sign. ] Let's continue..."Potpourri"; "Hot or Cold"; "What Ears Do"; "Is This A Hat"-that's where I name and object, and you tell whether or not it's a hat. And finally, "Colors That End In Urple". Hilary Swank, you're in the lead, so we'll start with you.

Hilary Swank: I'm a girl you know.

Alex Trebek: [ shakes head ] Let's just go with Foreign Flicks for $800. [ Connery buzzes in. ]

Sean Connery: Ursula Andress.

Alex Trebek: What?

Sean Connery: Ursula Andress, Catherine Deneuve, and Charo, twice.

Alex Trebek: That's Foreign Flicks, Mr. Connery. Foreign Flicks. Mr. Reeves, why don't you pick?

Keanu Reeves: I shall take Balloons for $800, if you please.

Alex Trebek: That's not a category.

Keanu Reeves: My mistake. I shall choose Balloons for $600.

Alex Trebek: I tell you what, let's do Colors That End in Urple. For $800. This color ends in "urple". [ Swank buzzes in. ] Hilary Swank.

Hilary Swank: What is light urple?

Alex Trebek: [ shakes head ] Wow. [ Reeves buzzes in. ] Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves: I will venture a guess. Who is Jaleel White?

Alex Trebek: What?

Keanu Reeves: Is that not the gentlemen who played Urple, the humorous fellow with the glasses who loves cheese?

Alex Trebek: That's Urkel! [ Connery buzzes in. ] Oh good, Mr. Connery wants to say something.

Sean Connery: I thought of some more foreign ladies I snogged.

Alex Trebek: Let's just go to Hot or Cold for $400. And it's a Video Daily Double. Here goes nothing. Please take a look at your video monitors.

[ screen shows Ricky Martin and two dancers. They start dancing. ]

Ricky Martin: It's me! Come on, Ricky Martin! Come on! [ music starts ]. Oh my! In this cup there's some hot tea! It's hot hot hot! Watch! [ takes a sip ] Yow! Hot hot hot! So the answer is: Hot hot hot! or cold. Hot hot hot! or cold. Come on! Hot hot hot!

[ video fades ]. [ no one buzzes in. ]

Alex Trebek: None of you knows. No one can figure out if the hot tea is hot or cold. [ Reeves buzzes in. ] Thank God! Keanu Reeves.

Keanu Reeves: Is it iced tea?

Alex Trebek: [ agitated ] No! It's hot tea!

Keanu Reeves: Well, then I have no idea.

Alex Trebek: Let's just go to Final Jeopardy. The category is...oh come on, why would they do this? The category is Famous Mothers.

Sean Connery: [ laughs ] My day has come! [ keeps laughing ]

Alex Trebek: [ rips card ] I'm not going to give you the satisfaction. [ Connery stops laughing. ] The new category is Anything. Write anything. [ music starts ] Just write. Use your arm, hand, and special pen, and move the pen around. Scribble if you want to, just make some kind of mark. [ music stops ] OK, let's get this over with. Sean Connery, you wrote down: Below. I don't know why you wrote that, but technically that's a correct answer. You did write something. Let's see what you wagered: Me. Below Me. [ Connery laughs ] Below Me...I don't get it.

Sean Connery: Oh, I'll bet you do, you Canadian ponch. [ slaps Trebek on the head. ]

Alex Trebek: Proud day for you and your family. Keanu Reeves, you look rather pleased. Let's see what you wrote down: [ a blank screen is revealed ] Nothing. The question was write anything, and you got it wrong. I'm speechless. Let's see what you wagered: Eleventy billion dollars. That's not even a real number.

Keanu Reeves: Yet.

Alex Trebek: That's simply amazing. And finally, Hilary Swank.

Hilary Swank: Thanks Alex. I'm so honored to have been here today, there's so many people I have to thank. [ camera shows a sobbing Chad Lowe in the audience. ] I couldn't have done it without Alex Trebek, the incredible cast and crew of Jeopardy, my publicist who is a beautiful human being...that's it.

Alex Trebek: Touching. That's all for Jeopardy; Regis, you can have them. Good night. [ Connery pushes Trebek as he walks by. ]
Click to expand...

that was long
 
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