Is saying "Sir" and "Ma'am" polite or out of date?

[Lazarus52980]

My wife and I are teaching my children a class on manners and etiquette and we were debating on the usage of Sir and Ma'am. What does ATOT think? If you met someone using Sir and Ma'am all the time, would you consider that person polite, or just think them weird and old fashioned.

Positive for that person, or a negative?

 

[Agent11]

Depends on the company you keep.

 

[ALIVE]

being polite never hurt anyone
being rude is easy
learn to behave is hard

 

[Crusty]

Nothing wrong with it at all, totally depends on the context.

 

[sourceninja]

I use those when speaking with people I have not formally met. For example when meeting someone for the first time, or back when I did technical support. Once I've met the person I will use their name to address them.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

Context. I hear (and use) sir and ma'am all the time in retail. (Where forced uber-politeness is just kind of the goal.)

Obviously, the military. Also, BDSM.

Otherwise, yeah, it's outmoded. But mostly because even our "royalty" (the economic and social elite) want to be seen as being "of the people." When that fad dies down, I'm sure the trend will reverse.

 

[Berryracer]

in my career in customer service. Many people prefer me to call them by their first name as Sir Maam is too old fashioned and plain boring and gets tiring after a while

 

[JM Aggie08]

I've never witnessed a case where being polite was in bad taste...

 

[WelshBloke]

Its fine for a child.

It sounds a bit ... subservient?... for an adult.

 

[Svnla]

I've never witnessed a case where being polite was in bad taste...

This.

Just don't overdone (excessive) it. I wouldn't say sir or ma'am to the ones that are way younger than me.

Be nice and courtesy = never out of style or bad.

 

[Mixolydian]

I use it typically when I don't know someone very well or at all. It's called being polite.

"Excuse me ma'am, you dropped your credit card."

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

Its fine for a child.

It sounds a bit ... subservient?... for an adult.

I'm not sure why manners should be outgrown. The terms connote a level of courtesy extended to another and courtesy costs nothing.

If someone approaches another in an informal way then the responder adjusts accordingly. Sadly many now have no concept of how to do this anymore. They just go into the "gimme" mode, treating others as lesser beings even if that's not the intent. Again context is important, but when introductions are met politeness should win out.

It's better to project a sense of consideration than not.

 

[Zeze]

Sir/Ma'am sounds way too submissive in this day and age for adults. The only exception is military or government.

I say sir to strangers here and there for fun and being polite. That's about it.

 

[Ruptga]

I never heard someone use them outside of a work environment until I met a guy from Alabama. Now that I live in Texas I hear it some, and there is even one guy that calls everyone "bubba." It's just something those from the old deep south do in addition to calling all soda "coke."

 

[Chocu1a]

I am 40 years old and still say them. Manners never go out of style.

 

[Agent11]

It really threw me for a loop when I started being called sir :/ ' welcome to the old people club '

 

[Midwayman]

Its the polite form of address for someone you don't know or know very well. What are your other options? 'excuse me sir' or 'hey you' or 'yo dawg' I think I go with sir.

 

[Rakehellion]

I think it's weird. Those words just don't have the same meaning they did fifty years ago.

 

[Sonikku]

Someone saying "Yes ma'am!" to you in a playful joking way from time to time is ok. But it might be a touch old fashioned for seriousness.

 

[Gunslinger08]

Depends on the context. I generally only use those terms when thanking people. I don't work in customer service and I work some place that doesn't have an overly formal structure, so using it in day-to-day conversations would be weird.

 

[WelshBloke]

I'm not sure why manners should be outgrown. The terms connote a level of courtesy extended to another and courtesy costs nothing.

If someone approaches another in an informal way then the responder adjusts accordingly. Sadly many now have no concept of how to do this anymore. They just go into the "gimme" mode, treating others as lesser beings even if that's not the intent. Again context is important, but when introductions are met politeness should win out.

It's better to project a sense of consideration than not.

Its probably a cultural difference. Sir and Ma'am have a bit more baggage over here.

We had an American Doctor using them the other week and he really got on peoples nerves using them, didn't help that he was a dick anyway though.

 

[OVerLoRDI]

Ma'am is a little weird. Say it to the wrong girl and she thinks you are calling her old.

Sir works no matter what. I commonly use sir. "Excuse me sir" "Thank you sir"

 

[Jaskalas]

I consider it normal to politely refer to strangers in this way.

 

[lxskllr]

It sounds a bit ... subservient?... for an adult.

That's kind of the point, at least for me. I'd rather come off as being below someone, rather than being perceived as being above them. Humans don't like competition, and they're more willing to help you out if they don't feel threatened.

 

[Drako]

[K-9]

Yes Mistress

[/K-9]

Anyway, I use sir and ma'am all the time. I'm not sure why it would be considered weird or out of date.