Is Sarcasm Always a Defense Mechanism?

[Exterous]

I got into a discussion with someone at work today about that. I claim that it can be used precisly to make a point without covering up some underlying psycological need or being a defense mechanism. She contends the opposite

Our argument eventually came down to a point of view (although I had to concede that her's was the more documented one - but I atributed that to the Politically Corectness of our society)
She says that sarcasm is hurtful and derogatory. I say it conveys a stronger sense of feeling in a more complex way (and that the individual controls if someone else's words hurt them)

So, is sarcasm just a defense mechanism or can it be something more?

 

[acemcmac]

never really thought about it... I think it depends on the situation

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Well, Sarcasm and I started out as friends but we've both decided to try for something more.......much more.

 

[tfinch2]

This has got to be the most insightful question I've heard all day. :roll:

 

[AbAbber2k]

Hurtful and derogatory? Please... :roll:
It depends entirely on context. Lots of things can be hurtful in the right context but are otherwise perfectly normal and acceptable.

 

[NuAlphaMan]

ROFLMAO!!!!!

 

[dullard]

Have her tell us which of these she is talking about. I think she fails to realize that sarcasm is also a form of humor.

 

[Skunkwourk]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Well, Sarcasm and I started out as friends but we've both decided to try for something more.......much more.

haha

Sarcasm can be more, like a humorous response...

 

[EGGO]

Originally posted by: tfinch2
This has got to be the most insightful question I've heard all day. :roll:

Thanks, you have to buy me a new irony meter for breaking this one.

 

[preslove]

From oed.com:

A sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt. Now usually in generalized sense: Sarcastic language; sarcastic meaning or purpose.

The tradtional definition of sarcasm is actually pretty harsh. People usually mean ironic when they say sarcastic. It's become so common, though, that the original definition now is closer to sardonic.

 

[Mucho]

The lowest form of humor I would say.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: preslove
From oed.com:

A sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt. Now usually in generalized sense: Sarcastic language; sarcastic meaning or purpose.

The tradtional definition of sarcasm is actually pretty harsh. People usually mean ironic when they say sarcastic. It's become so common, though, that the original definition now is closer to sardonic.

Also, almost nobody knows what irony really is. For example, none of the examples in Alanis Morissette's song are actually examples of Irony.

 

[Riverhound777]

She is wrong, you are right. Simple as that. Sarcasm can have many uses such as teasing a girl. For instance say I am walking with a really hot girl and she stumbles. I might say to her in a joking sarcastic manner "Wow, never learned to walk? I dont think we can be together anymore..." How is that being defensive? If anything it is a compliment. I am willing to be with her even though she is clumsy, and that I think its cute.

 

[Phoenix86]

Originally posted by: Mucho
The lowest form of humor I would say.

Someone else might have said that too...

 

[AlienCraft]

People who pun tend to use sarcasm more in normal exchanges. People who pun also tend to rank higher on lingustic and cognitive testing.

I contend that people who attach emotional content to language irrespective of context are demonstrating their emotional issues.

Being Flippant is often confused for Sarcastic. Tom Cruise thought Matt Lauer was being "Glib", when in fact he meant "flippant".

She's flipping (pun alert) it on you because she can't handle it or cannot discern when someone is being sarcastic or not.

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Phoenix86

Originally posted by: Mucho
The lowest form of humor I would say.

Someone else might have said that too...

Stop being so sarcastic, Phoenix86, it's the lowest form of humor, I would say. :|

 

[Perknose]

Originally posted by: Riverhound777
For instance say I am walking with a really hot girl and she stumbles. I might say to her in a joking sarcastic manner "Wow, never learned to walk? I dont think we can be together anymore..." How is that being defensive? If anything it is a compliment. I am willing to be with her even though she is clumsy, and that I think its cute.

We're discussing sarcasm here, not lame compensatory fantasy.

And shut your festering gob, abuse is in 12A.

 

[mordantmonkey]

i usually prefer to be facetious as when i am sarcastic people think i'm being an a-hole. i think they are just taking things too seriously, and are being too emotional. they don't know the difference between being sarcastic and mordant.

though after reviewing definitions, it seems that sarcastic implies a certain intent of harm ofr ridicule. so i guess it's better to be facetiously ironic?

 

[Jawo]

I tend to think of sarcasm as a more complex type of humor that not everyone gets.... although I have used sarcasm as a defense, but only rarely; meant with a lot of "bite".

 

[Exterous]

Originally posted by: Riverhound777
She is wrong, you are right. Simple as that. Sarcasm can have many uses such as teasing a girl. For instance say I am walking with a really hot girl and she stumbles. I might say to her in a joking sarcastic manner "Wow, never learned to walk? I dont think we can be together anymore..." How is that being defensive? If anything it is a compliment. I am willing to be with her even though she is clumsy, and that I think its cute.

In that situation I believe the remark would be considered demeaning and since you made the remark, you would be characterized as demaining others to make your own stature better by comparison. I think thats the psychological reasoning anyway

 

[Riverhound777]

Originally posted by: Exterous

Originally posted by: Riverhound777
She is wrong, you are right. Simple as that. Sarcasm can have many uses such as teasing a girl. For instance say I am walking with a really hot girl and she stumbles. I might say to her in a joking sarcastic manner "Wow, never learned to walk? I dont think we can be together anymore..." How is that being defensive? If anything it is a compliment. I am willing to be with her even though she is clumsy, and that I think its cute.

In that situation I believe the remark would be considered demeaning and since you made the remark, you would be characterized as demaining others to make your own stature better by comparison. I think thats the psychological reasoning anyway

You are correct to some degree. Depending on how you say it, yes I could come off as an ass, but that is up to the presentation and who you are saying it to. If the person has a sense of humor and you say it jokingly, you accomplish several things.

First of all, as you say, you make it clear that you believe you are better than the other person, or are arrogant if you will. This in itself can be bad and put people off, but when mixed with humor it becomes confidence. It also catches people off guard. What attractive women expects to be teased when she stumbles? None, this makes you stand out and get attention. Combined with being confident, it creates attraction. If you don't believe me, try it out sometime.

Sufice to say, none of this has anything to do with being defensive.