Is one woman essentially as good as another?

[AreaCode707]

Inspired by the "single moms" thread - somebody said, "why go with the one with baggage when there are plenty of women out there without the baggage?"

Is that how guys generally think about women, that they're all pretty much about equal and going for the more convenient is common practice? Or is there more to take into consideration like, "even though this woman has x y and z things wrong with her there's only one of her and that person is unique and may be worth it."

I guess it's kind of "plenty of other fish in the sea" question. Is that an accurate statement, from a guy standpoint?

 

[bradruth]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Is one woman essentially as good as another?

No.

 

[jerryjg]

sure,unless they are hot

 

[0roo0roo]

soul mates are bunk, its why we have the divorce rate thing

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
soul mates are bunk, its why we have the divorce rate thing

So is that a yes?

 

[Kadarin]

All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

So assuming all baggage is equal, is one woman the same as another?

 

[FrustratedUser]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

So assuming all baggage is equal, is one woman the same as another?

What's the point of this question? In a court you would hear, 'Protest, leading question!'

 

[Cooljt1]

no...if all woman were equal then it wouldnt matter who you went out with. for some reason or another some people or women make you feel a certain way and you connect with them. now i dont connect with all women so they are definitely not all equal

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

So assuming all baggage is equal, is one woman the same as another?

No. Physical attributes are different (and thus prompt a different sense and level of attraction in a potential partner), personalities are different, interests are different, education is different...

All women are the same in that: They are biologically designed to have children (whether they actually can or not).

So what are you getting at? What answer do you want to hear?

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
soul mates are bunk, its why we have the divorce rate thing

So is that a yes?

meh yea. october 2004 psychology today explains it better then i do had a thing on love and compatibility.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

So assuming all baggage is equal, is one woman the same as another?

No. Physical attributes are different (and thus prompt a different sense and level of attraction in a potential partner), personalities are different, interests are different, education is different...

All women are the same in that: They are biologically designed to have children (whether they actually can or not).

So what are you getting at? What answer do you want to hear?

I don't have a "want to hear" answer. It's midnight and I'm babbling in order to hear people talk back.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Astaroth33

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Astaroth33
All women are most definitely not equal, any more than you consider all guys to be equal. Some are fugly, some are fat, some are cute, some are drop dead sexy-gorgeous. Some are shallow, some (few!) are not so materialistic.

Everyone has "baggage" of some sort.

So assuming all baggage is equal, is one woman the same as another?

No. Physical attributes are different (and thus prompt a different sense and level of attraction in a potential partner), personalities are different, interests are different, education is different...

All women are the same in that: They are biologically designed to have children (whether they actually can or not).

So what are you getting at? What answer do you want to hear?

I don't have a "want to hear" answer. It's midnight and I'm babbling in order to hear people talk back.

Oh. In that case....

 

[notfred]

You wouldn't buy a car that has flat tires, would you?

Why? Because there are a ton of other cars out there with tires that are not flat? Not all of these cars are equal, some are much nicer than other cars. The car with the flat tires might even have it's good qualities - maybe it's got a really reliable engine.

But who gives a crap about that if you can't even drive it home?

There are 3 billion women in the world, you have about a 10 year timespan in which to choose exactly one. You don't have time to start a relationship with all of them and learn everything about thier personality, so you take some things that seem significant to you, and you start by eliminating people that don't fit those criteria.

Has no job? She's off the list.
Smokes? Off the list.
Kids? Off the list.
350lbs? Off the list.
Doesn't speak English? Off the list.

Your list of 3 billion people jsut dropped to 500 million. You're making good progress.

Surely there are criteria you have that would prevent you from dating someone, aren't there?

 

[miniMUNCH]

One woman is never "as good" as another.

For men who just want to get their dick wet, one woman will appear as good as another. Of course, the visual rating scale applies along with bonus/penalty points for psychological/baggage issues...but for the most part one woman who rates a 9 is good as most any other woman who rates a 9.

When men are serious about a relationship, or wanting a relationship, the "as good" as another thing goes out the window after we have found someone we really love.

For instance, I'm happily married...there is no substitute for my wife. Some SI swimsuit model, as hot as she may be, is no substitute for my wife and never could be.

Supposing my wife died (and supposing I then didn't kill myself), at some point I'd recover, get lonely, want sex/company, and then I'd probably be interested in said SI swimsuit model and one swimsuit model, or nice girl at bar, would be as good as the next girl in her general rating scale.

That would last until I found a woman that I loved...

Hope that helps...

 

[Willoughbyva]

Women and men are individuals. No two are just alike. There are a lot of reasons why I would choose one woman over another. It is really quite hard to understand the question. Seriously no 2 people are the same. I keep looking for a special woman to come my way, but I have yet to find her. Should I give up? Should I accept anyone?

Isn't that what makes a relationship special? 2 indeviduals getting together and becomming close over time. I still can't quite understand the question. If I was in a serious relationship and someone asked me if any woman was as good as the woman that I was in a relationship with, I think I would get very upset. Isn't that why relationships are special? Because one person finds the other person special?

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Women and men are individuals. No two are just alike. There are a lot of reasons why I would choose one woman over another. It is really quite hard to understand the question. Seriously no 2 people are the same. I keep looking for a special woman to come my way, but I have yet to find her. Should I give up? Should I accept anyone?

Isn't that what makes a relationship special? 2 indeviduals getting together and becomming close over time. I still can't quite understand the question. If I was in a serious relationship and someone asked me if any woman was as good as the woman that I was in a relationship with, I think I would get very upset. Isn't that why relationships are special? Because one person finds the other person special?

Ah, it's interesting that you say that because it somehow ties into the thought I had that triggered the req. You know when guys break up with a girl, or she breaks up with him, for whatever reason, all the other guys console him by saying stuff like, "plenty of fish in the sea" or "go find another girl and you'll feel better." That seems to all be on the assumption that one is as good as another. I wondered what people thought of that assumption taken on its own.

 

[dug777]

no, because one is mine, and she's the one i love, not the billions of others...

 

[notfred]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Women and men are individuals. No two are just alike. There are a lot of reasons why I would choose one woman over another. It is really quite hard to understand the question. Seriously no 2 people are the same. I keep looking for a special woman to come my way, but I have yet to find her. Should I give up? Should I accept anyone?

Isn't that what makes a relationship special? 2 indeviduals getting together and becomming close over time. I still can't quite understand the question. If I was in a serious relationship and someone asked me if any woman was as good as the woman that I was in a relationship with, I think I would get very upset. Isn't that why relationships are special? Because one person finds the other person special?

Ah, it's interesting that you say that because it somehow ties into the thought I had that triggered the req. You know when guys break up with a girl, or she breaks up with him, for whatever reason, all the other guys console him by saying stuff like, "plenty of fish in the sea" or "go find another girl and you'll feel better." That seems to all be on the assumption that one is as good as another. I wondered what people thought of that assumption taken on its own.

"Plenty of fish in the sea" doesn't imply that all fish are equal. It simply indicates that there is a huge variety of available fish from which to choose.

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Honestly having been with many.......yes they are all pretty much the same. This of course applies to women also. I've had plenty of women say "me ex blah blah" only to accept the same from me.

People in general are the same......well imo there are two types but anyway...................

 

[Chaotic42]

No, of course not.

The meth addict with six kids that keeps getting fired from her fast food jobs is not nearly as desirable as the well-read, educated girl who works at the book store after college. All "baggage" being the same, there are different personality types, different body types... I've never met two girls that I would consider interchangable.

 

[Cooljt1]

Originally posted by: QuitBanningMe
Honestly having been with many.......yes they are all pretty much the same. This of course applies to women also. I've had plenty of women say "me ex blah blah" only to accept the same from me.

People in general are the same......well imo there are two types but anyway...................

two types? what do you mean by that?

 

[QuitBanningMe]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
No, of course not.

The meth addict with six kids that keeps getting fired from her fast food jobs is not nearly as desirable as the well-read, educated girl who works at the book store after college. All "baggage" being the same, there are different personality types, different body types... I've never met two girls that I would consider interchangable.

and yet they are the same.................................

 

[Willoughbyva]

Originally posted by: HotChic

Originally posted by: Willoughbyva
Women and men are individuals. No two are just alike. There are a lot of reasons why I would choose one woman over another. It is really quite hard to understand the question. Seriously no 2 people are the same. I keep looking for a special woman to come my way, but I have yet to find her. Should I give up? Should I accept anyone?

Isn't that what makes a relationship special? 2 indeviduals getting together and becomming close over time. I still can't quite understand the question. If I was in a serious relationship and someone asked me if any woman was as good as the woman that I was in a relationship with, I think I would get very upset. Isn't that why relationships are special? Because one person finds the other person special?

Ah, it's interesting that you say that because it somehow ties into the thought I had that triggered the req. You know when guys break up with a girl, or she breaks up with him, for whatever reason, all the other guys console him by saying stuff like, "plenty of fish in the sea" or "go find another girl and you'll feel better." That seems to all be on the assumption that one is as good as another. I wondered what people thought of that assumption taken on its own.

Yeah I know what you are saying. That is why breaking up in a relationship is so hard.

I guess different people have different views on things like this. I guess it is what a person wants out of the relationship. For instance. Some people look to have a relationship last a lifetime. When a relationship has lasted for a while with the idea of having it last for a lifetime behind it, it is hard to just snap out of it. Obviously a person wouldn't choose just anyone to have a long term commited relationship with. So that would mean that there is somethng special about the other person in question to begain with. However when a long term relationshipends there has to be some form of letting go, because it isn't healthy to stay tuned into someone that isn't trying to tune into you. So people come up with saying "there are other fish in the sea", meaning that go ahead and release your idea/longing/hope/love/closeness with this person and look on towards finding what you are looking for in someone else. So there are these sayings like "there are other fish in the sea", but what is really ment is that you have to move on and you have to accept that the relationship is over. With that saying there is also a little bit of intinuation that the other person had flaws and there might be even someone else who is better suited to you on a one to one level. I have read many books on thsi subject over the years. Most of it I have forgotten. Like after a breakup one person will talk bad about the other. That is because there needs to be an end into the investment of the other person. Stuff like that saying tries to help, but not quite at face value.

In a way saying anything that promotes the person that you just broke up with is leading the person into more heartbreak. After a breakup ties need to be severd. A different mode of thinking abou the other person needs to come about. Often times it in the form of less than flattering things about the person you just broke up with. It will lead to eventual healing from the loss of so much investment.

Sorry I have typed so much. It is late and I hope it is comprehinsable.

 

[PingSpike]

Good god no.

I'm pretty sure I made the statement in question, although I don't understand how to could interpret my viewing women as less desirable due to their circumstances as viewing all women as the same. We men are simple creatures, but we're not that simple.

As 0roo0roo correctly stated, soul mates are bunk. What makes anyone think that on a planet with like 6 billion people that there's only one special person for them out there...and that they're almost always within 50 miles of you, is beyond me. The human race would have went extint long ago if we were really that picky. Who can tell me what the number one attribute of attraction in a potential mate is and historically has been even more so? Looks? Personality? Money? Bzzt. All wrong. Its proximity. You can't meet that girl in China because you don't live in China.

One woman isn't as good as another...but that doesn't mean there only one woman out there that would make you happy. Your assertion doesn't take into account that there are so many things that are important when looking for a mate. Interests, personality, similar goals...and tons of boring sh|t like money management, responsibility.

There are critera that are "deal killers". These are different for every individual and probably change throughout your life. And it just seems to me that a girl with kids it would be pretty damn hard to make a relationship work with. Haven't you ever not gone out with a guy that was otherwise great because he smoked or had really bad acne or something? And those are things that he could conceivably fix.