Is it wrong not to "want" to be with your girlfriend all the time..

[jcuadrado]

Seems like my girl...no matter when...wants to be with me during all her free time...seems like she has no friends....no other life...

I like to be with her a couple times a week...then on weekends..but she doesnt agree...she said if I really care...I would want to be with her whenever I have free time...I like to be alone alot...pondering my thoughts...sometimes I hang with my friends..

Gimme some thoughts peeps!!!!!!

???

 

[Nutdotnet]

Nah dude, don't listen to what she says, listen to what you feel!

Obviously she is into this relationship more than you are. How long have you two been together?

 

[Hanpan]

It's perfectly normal. In fact even if you were to get married you should still spends times with others yourself etc. ONe of the major fallicies that people engage in is beleivein that being n a relationship means not having any other relations ships. It jsut means no intimate relationships with other girls. My advice do stuff with your buddy's etc. If your girlfriend can't handle that it won't work out in the end anyways. I know this is the internet andyou can't trust everything but this topic has been heavily researched and most phsyciatrists will tell you all relationships need some "down' time.

 

[IcemanJer]

have you explained to her that sometimes you need time for yourself, or maybe she should try the same thing.. sounds like she's kinda possessive..?

 

[Electric Amish]

It's ok to want to be with other friends and do other things.....


....good luck trying to explain it to her, tho. I've been trying for 8 years with my wife and we STILL don't see eye to eye.

amish

 

[Zapster]

Same here - I go off on my computer or in the garage, and then she lays this guilt trip of: Why don't you want to be with me? So, then I log off, leave the car alone to go be with her. Then she just wants me to sit next to her while she watches a 'chick flick' on TV or perhaps something worse, 'a musical'! Then I ask her? Why did you have me leave my computer, drop what I was doing with the car just to sit here. "I just wanted us to be together!" She really is from Venus! or is that Mars?

 

[visgf]

Everyone needs their own personal time, and she should respect that. I would go absolutely nuts if Vi_edit and I were around each other every waking moment. In fact, we're looking into buying a home with significantly more space than the place we're in now just so that we can both have our own rooms to spend time by ourselves in.

It's also very healthy to have friendships outside intimate relationships, much for the same reasons. Maybe she has trouble making friends and having you is her reason for not trying to work on that. There might be some underlying reason for her insecurities.

 

[iamwiz82]

you are supposed tobe best friends. My girlfriend is like that, but i enjoy spending time with her. I will pcik her up and bring her to my house, and go on the computer, and she will watch tv, and then i will sit for awhile with her. Its give and take.

 

[kami]

No it's perfectly normal...You can't spend ALL your time together. You can still have friends, and you can still do your own thing. Don't let her be a controlling little *****

 

[flippinfleck]

I live with my fiance, so it's kinda hard to have our own personal time. But it is normal to want to be away for a bit. I go out all the time while she is at work and when she comes home she does what she needs to do. Then at night we meet up and go out together. Works out kinda nice, we don't have to stare at eachother all the time!

 

[CyberTiger]

no it's not wrong of course. everybody needs friends.

 

[gunf1ghter]

My GF does the same thing.... she gets upset if I want to go hang with my buds or if I want to nerd out with my PC or car.

I think many woman are this way, just jealous of the world in general... she has even told me that its a little irrational of her to be jealous of the computer, etc, but that she can't help it.

It has gotten a little bit better, I now try to plan out an activity we can do together (we live together, so not too tough) and then she is more able to let me break away to do what I want to do.

The other problem is that I'm a night owl but she goes to bed at 10pm for work, she says she has a hard time sleeping when I don't go to bed with her, don't know what the solution to that one is.

 

[ArkAoss]

sounds like you got a DEPENDANT woman. some kinds of dependant girls are ok, but your's sounds too dependant. Sometimes it feels nice to be wanted sooo much. It's not like she's saying it just has to be you and her, she don't care if other people are with ya, maybe she hasn't had much for social life till she met you.

I had a dependant girl... she still calls me...... it ain't cool. I've got a much more serious relationship now. With a very mature girl.
But give your girl a little slack, what age's we talking here?

 

[DannyLove]

i only have one thing to say. with all these "girl problem threads" it allows me to conclude with much more extent again:......

...WOMEN ARE EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Its all part of a scheme they are all under. To drive men to ask these questions and to even question ourselfs! They are all working together!!!! hehe

 

[wyvrn]

My wife and I went through this. She led a very sheltered home life, I had a lot more freedom and more friends. She had this dependency thing that has taken a long time to get rid of. I love to spend time with her, but I always encourage her nights out with the girls. People are just happier with other friends and interests in their lives. Just find someone who feels the same way as you and you should not have a problem.

 

[StageLeft]

No, its silly. You shouldn't have to be with your girlfriend all the time. Even if she is your best friend why do you have to spend all of your time with her? I know that I wouldn't want to hang around somebody exactly like me all the time, so why would I expect somebody else to? You need a break, change of scenery from time to time. Spending all of your time with only one person is very unhealthy.

BTW my fiance and I have been living in a single room bachelor apartment for about 1.5 years now. We do extremely well considering but we cannot wait until we move into a place with some more space. I can't even stay up late because being a girl she needs 23 hours sleep a day and my typing/tv, etc. ruins it.

 

[lepper boy]

welcome to the world of women.. I always had to give them the talk of, ya know, we need to have some time for other people to. but then they get all moody and crap..... And my wife is the same way, playin on computer or working on something, " Why don't you want to spend time with me?" then I leave and she wants me to sit by her on the couch watchin some movie.... And if you say anything watch out!!!!!!!! but oh well that is life I guess.

 

[TheVrolok]

I love my gf but there times I'd rather not be with my gf.. just gotta have space sometimes. I'm sure it's the same for married couples.

 

[NutBucket]

I will quote Tom Lychis by saying, "Women are attention whores." There, he said it, not me!

 

[Scrapster]

she gets upset if I want to go hang with my buds or if I want to nerd out with my PC or car.

I'd have to give her the ultimatum. If you won't back off this relationship is over.

 

[visgf]

In defense of some women, I must say that there are different types of women and not all are attention mongers. There are just some that make the rest of us look bad. Many of us need our time away from men just as much as men need time away from women. I can just about fall asleep if I listen to vi_edit talk about cars for longer than 20 minutes. He would probably would say the same about when I talk about other more feminine things. No one side is to blame, both are. OK, I'm done now.

 

[gunf1ghter]

Scrapster,

Giving that ultimatum would pretty much end the relationship.... since I don't want to end the relationship, I try to compromise with her. I hate to say it, but finding independant woman who want to do their own thing ain't easy. The last few that I dated were very "clingy".

If I dumped every woman who had problems, I'd be permanantly single, because they all have their hangups and emotional baggage.

 

[Jmman]

Everbody has to have a little time apart. Jeez, I have had a few girlfriends like that. One of them called me 9 times during one round of golf with my bud, just to find out when I would be back.... that relationship drove me crazy.....:disgust:

 

[Regine]

Since Napalm and I only live across the sidewalk from each other we see each other quite a bit every day. Most of the time he even sleeps in my room. So yeah, of course there's times when you want to do something on your own, and that's perfectly alright.

 

[Plantanthera]

Personally I think it is normal for a guy to have some times on their own. You could try to talk to her, but I seriously doubt that she is going to listen to you. Women that are secure wouldn?t say things like that in the first place, but the insecure ones will always find faults in you and them self to make their life miserable.

I have to concur with you that many women are some what insecure in a relationship and need constant reminder. I had 3 relationships in my life and only one respect my freedom & let me do ever I want, and she was the only person that I yearn to be with most if not all of my waking moment. The other 2 ex-gfs classic complaint was that I care more about my job, my schooling, and my nieces & nephews....I was living with 1 of the ex for almost 2 years and we were in 1/3 of the same classes, and the different was that I had a full-time job and a full course load while she only have school to deal with.