Is it right for a friend to go after your ex?

[Jzero]

It violates the unwritten "guy" rules, but OTOH, she is your ex. All bets are off. As for asking permission, it's not like you should have any say in the matter, especially considering you are no longer together. It's a choice made by two consenting adults. If you can't handle it, I don't necessarily blame you, but what these two people do is beyond your control.

 

[freegeeks]

she's free so she's fair game

 

[polm]

right or wrong, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

do you plan on remaining friends with him ? This guy clearly does not see you as a close friend.

I personally don't think it is right, but having just recently been through this same ordeal, I can tell you that your best bet is to move on . Unless you are serious about maintaing a relationship with either one of these people.

 

[Mr N8]

If you were already divorced, it would have been better. He's an ass for doing it anyway. He's got to know that you hanging out with him and his g/f wouldn't be an option.

For some reason I keep hearing "Jerry, Jerry..."

 

Friends fantisize about their friends SO, it's natural.

 

[Hammer]

they should at least saying something in advance. its a courtesy.

 

[conjur]

I think these guy rules apply:

Rule 381
Rule 511
Rule 511.1
Rule 511.2

 

[Zombie]

I guess how good your friendship is. If you have been friends for a long time then I guess it should not be done without him talking to you about it.

On a side note, last year my roommate's bestfriends started going out with his ex. and got her pregnant...bhahahaha...he was really pissed about it .

 

[JeffreyLebowski]

Well he obviously isn't a friend as he doesn't understand, Bros B4 Hoes.

And if he's already in like Flyn, then he was probably either making moves on her when you were together or was feeding her the snausage when you were together.

 

[lastig21]

I think it just depends on the degree of friendship. It seems that you may have perceived yourself as better friends then he did (although you are biased because its your ex). I have friends that I would risk losing over a girl and some that I wouldn't. You seem to be expendable.

 

[TheBoyBlunder]

Originally posted by: Alienwho
Not cool if they don't tell you. For all you know they've been playing that game before you got separated.

 

[bolinger]

5 to 1 that your wife was fvcking around with your "friend" long before you just found out.

Excommunicate both of them and save yourself the grief.

 

[xirtam]

I was about to say it was ok, but then realized I would never in a million years date my brother's ex-girlfriend.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
Goin after a friends ex is usually preluded by the person asking the friend if it's ok. The friend is required to say yes. If the person didn't ask, then he violated the rules of the game and an ass beating is in order.

Confirmed. See conjur's posted "guy rules" for further clarification on the issues.

- M4H

 

[Shawn]

Who cares? You and you're wife are not together anyway and you will be getting a divorce so why does it matter who she's with?

 

[Ausm]

Originally posted by: zmatrix
I am getting divorced from my wife (separated 6 months ago). My wife and I are still friends and I just found out a friend, whom we both hung around with a lot "went" after her and now they are seeing each other. In my books, that's not cool. I felt that they should of told me, not me finding out by seeing his car parked in front of my wife's place.

If that was the reason your marriage went down the shitter I would be very pissed...but it was after the fact then that's another story.

Looking back at my divorce I went through a similar thing, My Ex Slut told me to hit the road and not to minutes after I got out her boyfriend practically moved in...Man that pissed me off. What was worse though was seeing his car parked in front of my house every fvcking day of the week..

Ausm

 

[zmatrix]

There are some good arguments here.

While it is true that she is my ex so all bets are off but the fact is that I am friends with both my ex and this guy that I would hope they would have the decency to come talk to me about it. It's true they do not have to ask for my permission because they are two consenting adults and they can do whatever and my ex has no obligation to me, but I am more pissed off about the guy code issue.

If this dude was man enough and a considerate friend, he would let me know, accepting whatever that will come to him. I would be more accepting had he came to me rather for me to find out the other way.

BTW, I think I left out an important piece of info - he recently left his wife.

 

[her209]

Go out with his sister or mom.

 

[gregshin]

ok seriously...how much would you give me to whack this guy mang?

 

[Viterix777]

I say take a baseball bat to the guy and slash your ex's tires.

just for the heck of it

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: zmatrix
I am getting divorced from my wife (separated 6 months ago). My wife and I are still friends and I just found out a friend, whom we both hung around with a lot "went" after her and now they are seeing each other.

In my books, that's not cool. I felt that they should of told me, not me finding out by seeing his car parked in front of my wife's place.

You people are through,she's not under any obligation to "tell" you anything.I'd just wish them the best of luck.

 

[Zebo]

I would'nt Love the idea but I guess I'd have no choice. Loose both IMO.