Is it ok for a guy to lie about his inability to have kids?

Skunkwourk

Diamond Member
Dec 9, 2004
4,662
1
81
Assuming that the guy is absolutely sure he never wants kids, and tells the girl up front that kids are not in his "plan", is it wrong to neglect to mention that he has gotten a vasectomy, or is sterile? Is one worse than the other?

EDIT: btw, this is a hypothetical a couple co-workers were talking about. Didn't put it in L&R because no one I know is in this situation, just looking at the morality of the issue.
 
Oct 27, 2007
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Yes, it's wrong. Why lie? Just be up front, enough with the damn games.

As for whether one is worse than the other, if you were sterile or fixed before you met the girl then no. If it happens after then yes, vasectomy is "worse" in terms of your relationship.
 

LS8

Golden Member
Jul 24, 2008
1,285
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If you are starting a relationship with lies it's doomed to failure. Try being honest.
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,542
921
126
Yes, I thought I never wanted kids when I met my wife and I told her this. We waited quite a while until after we bought our first home before trying to have children (up till that point we were only practicing ;)). Anyway, I think it needs to be stated.

I have a 7 year old son now and can't imagine not have him in my life.
 

Sea Moose

Diamond Member
May 12, 2009
6,933
7
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Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Yes, I thought I never wanted kids when I met my wife and I told her this. We waited quite a while until after we bought our first home before trying to have children (up till that point we were only practicing ;)). Anyway, I think it needs to be stated.

I have a 7 year old son now and can't imagine not have him in my life.

You can train son to get you beer from fridge!!!... sigh i have to go myself and get beer :(
 

JulesMaximus

No Lifer
Jul 3, 2003
74,542
921
126
Originally posted by: Sea Moose
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Yes, I thought I never wanted kids when I met my wife and I told her this. We waited quite a while until after we bought our first home before trying to have children (up till that point we were only practicing ;)). Anyway, I think it needs to be stated.

I have a 7 year old son now and can't imagine not have him in my life.

You can train son to get you beer from fridge!!!... sigh i have to go myself and get beer :(

Absolutely! I need to teach him to make martinis next. :p
 
Oct 27, 2007
17,009
1
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Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Originally posted by: Sea Moose
Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
Yes, I thought I never wanted kids when I met my wife and I told her this. We waited quite a while until after we bought our first home before trying to have children (up till that point we were only practicing ;)). Anyway, I think it needs to be stated.

I have a 7 year old son now and can't imagine not have him in my life.

You can train son to get you beer from fridge!!!... sigh i have to go myself and get beer :(

Absolutely! I need to teach him to make martinis next. :p

Small fingers roll great joints. And if you trust him with a razor blade he can carve your blow up.
 
S

SlitheryDee

Lying about something like that seems like asking for trouble in the long run.
 

AlienCraft

Lifer
Nov 23, 2002
10,539
0
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The Rule#1 : Avoidance > Repentance. :shocked:

It's OK to lie at any time for any reason, unless you are under oath. Just don't get caught in it.


You will be less hurt by assuming that everyone is lying at all times, than assuming they are always telling the truth.


Don't blame me, this is just my observation from the cheap seats.






And that's the truth,



for now. :laugh:

 
Nov 5, 2001
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if you are either sterile or had a vasectomy I don't see the issue....just say you are unable. It is not anyone's business why.


If you CAN have kids, then it would be wrong to lie.
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
dude, just a little insider info *nudge nudge* all lies are wrong.

Be a man and lay it out.
 

AreaCode707

Lifer
Sep 21, 2001
18,445
131
106
Originally posted by: m0mentary
Assuming that the guy is absolutely sure he never wants kids, and tells the girl up front that kids are not in his "plan", is it wrong to neglect to mention that he has gotten a vasectomy, or is sterile? Is one worse than the other?

EDIT: btw, this is a hypothetical a couple co-workers were talking about. Didn't put it in L&R because no one I know is in this situation, just looking at the morality of the issue.

Yeah, because you'd be deliberately allowing the girl to make the erroneous assumption that you might change your mind. Lie of omission.

Originally posted by: MikeyIs4Dcats
if you are either sterile or had a vasectomy I don't see the issue....just say you are unable. It is not anyone's business why.

I agree with this. Saying you are physically unable to have children is sufficient at the start of a relationship; how/why is not necessary right off the bat because that's pretty personal detail.
 

LumbergTech

Diamond Member
Sep 15, 2005
3,622
1
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the problem with not telling her is that it will ultimately hurt you

if she is the type that will just try to change your mind (over time) ..it will eventually just drive you crazy and it will hurt your relationship..then after all that time when you finally break it to her and she flips shit you will have completely wasted your time basically

not telling her really accomplishes nothing, unless you just want to use her temporarily ors omething
 
Oct 9, 1999
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I plan on getting snipped in a few months. I dont plan on telling every girl i got snipped. The moment I do they would walk away. Women have one power, getting knocked up and milking the man for child support. You take that power away, they wont stick around, they'll look for another source. THat being said I dont plan to mention that i had a vasectomy but I will mention that i dont want to have kids right now.

Ofcourse if she is worthy she will get the sperm that i have banked away for the future.
 

Clair de Lune

Banned
Sep 24, 2008
762
1
0
If you're 1000% percent sure you don't want kids, why the hell would you lie about it? Are you scared of being convinced? So stupid. I hate passive-aggressive idiots like these.
 

amdhunter

Lifer
May 19, 2003
23,332
249
106
You don't tell that whore shit. What you do is wait till she gets pregnant by some other dude, then wait for her to tell you that it's yours, then slap the ho with your vasectomy documents.

As she looks there stunned, whip out your manlihood and slap it right across her lying cheating face.

:thumbsup:
 

SparkyJJO

Lifer
May 16, 2002
13,357
7
81
Why lie? Seriously. Just be honest. This world would be a much better place if people would be honest for a change!
 

ch33kym0use

Senior member
Jul 17, 2005
495
0
0
Yup, been there. I approve of making an example of a man or woman if they are in denial of something or just plain annoying. I wouldn't even have to tell them about it. People get jealous so I hide stuff most of the time to avoid the jealousy that people might have.
 

elmer92413

Senior member
Oct 23, 2004
659
0
0
Originally posted by: amdhunter
You don't tell that whore shit. What you do is wait till she gets pregnant by some other dude, then wait for her to tell you that it's yours, then slap the ho with your vasectomy documents.

As she looks there stunned, whip out your manlihood and slap it right across her lying cheating face.

:thumbsup:

First thing I thought of!