Is it offensive to your spouse to get a pre-nup before marriage?

[Mill]

I will have. If you have significant assets before marriage you need to have one IMHO.

 

[gopunk]

wait if pre-nup is for current assets, what can be done to protect future assets?

 

[vetteguy]

Originally posted by: gopunk
wait if pre-nup is for current assets, what can be done to protect future assets?

Don't get married.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: vetteguy

Originally posted by: gopunk
wait if pre-nup is for current assets, what can be done to protect future assets?

Don't get married.

besides that, smart one.

 

[dolph]

this is what a prenup says to me:
"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."
the very concept of a prenuptual agreement totally implies that marriage isn't permanent, which it should be. i'm not suggesting that divorce should be illegal, but it definitely shouldn't be taken as lightly as it is. a prenup is a reinforcement of the lack of permanence that marriage has today. i would rather shack up with someone for 10 years and break up than marry and be divorced.

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: ActPrincess
A year ago if my boyfriend said he wanted to get married and wanted a pre nup, i would have over reacted like nothing else. Now, i wouldn't want it any other way. No....THERE IS NOTHING ABOUT FEAR OF COMMITMENT. Like was stated above a total CYA situation. I expect to recieve some sort of inheritance from great aunts and grandma. I want to maje sure everone is protected in the even sometihng happens.

so what changed?

woops...pardon my "blonde moment" What changed is that i realized that because we love each other, we would do this. Today, i wouldn't think twice about it. Like i said, it is nothing about fear of commitment. Its making sure that all aspects of a marriage are covered.

 

[pulse8]

"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."

I doubt that ANYONE getting married is, and has always been, 100% sure it's going to work out.

I'm sure it enters everyone's mind at some point, but it's because you love the person so much that you take that risk and get married. Time changes a lot of things and people are one of them. Anyone who's point of views and ideals don't change over time, for better or worse, is probably dead.

 

[dolph]

Originally posted by: pulse8

"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."

I doubt that ANYONE getting married is, and has always been, 100% sure it's going to work out. I'm sure it enters everyone's mind at some point, but it's because you love the person so much that you take that risk and get married. Time changes a lot of things and people are one of them. Anyone who's point of views and ideals don't change over time, for better or worse, is probably dead.

thank you for one of the most cynical and pessimistic replies i've ever seen. even if the two people aren't 100% sure it's going to work out, having a prenup knocks the percentage down about 30%. it's just that simple: if you love someone and are convinced that you will always love them and want to be with them for the rest of your life, then there is no reason for you to sign a prenuptual agreement if your future spouse feels the same way. if you or your fiancee thinks there's a chance it won't work out, then you sign a prenup.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: dolph

Originally posted by: pulse8

"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."

I doubt that ANYONE getting married is, and has always been, 100% sure it's going to work out. I'm sure it enters everyone's mind at some point, but it's because you love the person so much that you take that risk and get married. Time changes a lot of things and people are one of them. Anyone who's point of views and ideals don't change over time, for better or worse, is probably dead.

thank you for one of the most cynical and pessimistic replies i've ever seen. even if the two people aren't 100% sure it's going to work out, having a prenup knocks the percentage down about 30%. it's just that simple: if you love someone and are convinced that you will always love them and want to be with them for the rest of your life, then there is no reason for you to sign a prenuptual agreement if your future spouse feels the same way. if you or your fiancee thinks there's a chance it won't work out, then you sign a prenup.

i don't see what the big deal is, if you're so confident, why don't you just sign and forget about it? it can't hurt...

 

[pulse8]

Originally posted by: dolph

Originally posted by: pulse8

"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."

I doubt that ANYONE getting married is, and has always been, 100% sure it's going to work out. I'm sure it enters everyone's mind at some point, but it's because you love the person so much that you take that risk and get married. Time changes a lot of things and people are one of them. Anyone who's point of views and ideals don't change over time, for better or worse, is probably dead.

thank you for one of the most cynical and pessimistic replies i've ever seen. even if the two people aren't 100% sure it's going to work out, having a prenup knocks the percentage down about 30%. it's just that simple: if you love someone and are convinced that you will always love them and want to be with them for the rest of your life, then there is no reason for you to sign a prenuptual agreement if your future spouse feels the same way. if you or your fiancee thinks there's a chance it won't work out, then you sign a prenup.

30%?? Is there some kind of study where you got that number from? Other than that, I believe your reply to be incredibly simplistic for something as complicated as a relationship between two people. Don't believe the Beatles, love isn't all you need. Cynic or not, it's realistic. There's more to a marriage than just loving each other.

 

[RaySun2Be]

Is it offensive to your spouse to get a pre-nup before marriage?

It isn't to me, but yes, it would be very offensive to my spouse. She won't even let me have a girlfriend, let alone get married to someone, pre-nup or not. She said she's my one and only and if I ever think about another woman I'm a DEAD man. :Q So that's that.

Seriously, though, even though I don't like them, I can see where they may be necessary.

To me, a pre-nup says "I love you, but not enough to share my entire self with you. I love you, but I don't believe that we should share everything equally, I love you, but I'm not sure things are going to work out"

In an ideal situation were two people truly love each other, a pre-nup shouldn't be needed.

However, there are gold diggers (both sexes) that prey on persons of affluence, and all they are looking for is how much can they get. I saw a special about a con man who was good at getting in with affluent women, then draining them of their wealth. And I know there are women who have no problems with marrying a wealthy man just so she can split later and take as much as she can.

So for a person of affluence, a pre-nup can say, "do you love ME, or do you love my MONEY?" If you love me for me and not for the money, prove it."

To me, marriage is more than about love, it's about commitment, no matter how good it gets, or how crappy it gets, I love you and I'll be there for you, no matter what. Again, that's the ideal, and reality many times falls way short.

 

[dolph]

Originally posted by: pulse8

Originally posted by: dolph

Originally posted by: pulse8

"i love you enough to get married, but i'm not 100% sure it's going to work out."

I doubt that ANYONE getting married is, and has always been, 100% sure it's going to work out. I'm sure it enters everyone's mind at some point, but it's because you love the person so much that you take that risk and get married. Time changes a lot of things and people are one of them. Anyone who's point of views and ideals don't change over time, for better or worse, is probably dead.

thank you for one of the most cynical and pessimistic replies i've ever seen. even if the two people aren't 100% sure it's going to work out, having a prenup knocks the percentage down about 30%. it's just that simple: if you love someone and are convinced that you will always love them and want to be with them for the rest of your life, then there is no reason for you to sign a prenuptual agreement if your future spouse feels the same way. if you or your fiancee thinks there's a chance it won't work out, then you sign a prenup.

30%?? Is there some kind of study where you got that number from? Other than that, I believe your reply to be incredibly simplistic for something as complicated as a relationship between two people. Don't believe the Beatles, love isn't all you need. Cynic or not, it's realistic. There's more to a marriage than just loving each other.

no, that 30% just seemed reasonable to me. though i wish i could find a study on the amount of divorces with prenups... anyone else want to try? i had no luck. the reason my reply appears simplistic is because it is a simple issue that is made complicated by factors like prenups and willingness to divorce. if i marry, and i could imagine a) falling in love with someone else, b) her falling in love with someone else, or c) our "points of view" or "ideals" changing so much that i would not want to finish my life with them, they aren't the right person for me. if you consider that "incredibly simplistic," then you do not consider marriage to be a permanent union. obviously, if someone is abusive or something drastic comes up like that, then divorce is acceptable. but signing a prenup indicates that neither party considers their marriage permanent, very plain and very simple. you cannot argue against that

 

[Eli]

I'm not sure..

I don't think it would ever come up in the first place. If it did, i don't think I would be offended..

What's mine is hers, and whats hers is mine.. We're comfortable with that.

 

[NikPreviousAcct]

It would be offensive if Chelsea suggested a prenup; likewise, I would not insult my significant other, saying that I do not have faith in the stability of the relationship and wanting all my sh|t back, by suggesting a prenup.

nik

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Originally posted by: Eli
I'm not sure..

I don't think it would ever come up in the first place. If it did, i don't think I would be offended..

What's mine is hers, and whats hers is mine.. We're comfortable with that.

But in the event of divorce are you OK with her getting your stuff? I'm sure everyone thinks "Well she would never do that" Just ask the millions of guys that it's happened to. If you have any material assets and you don't get one you are just setting yourself up for more work in life. Lets say you gots $250k right now making like 5% and are married 5 years. She gets half the interest plus half the base. Complete suckage. No way.