• We’re currently investigating an issue related to the forum theme and styling that is impacting page layout and visual formatting. The problem has been identified, and we are actively working on a resolution. There is no impact to user data or functionality, this is strictly a front-end display issue. We’ll post an update once the fix has been deployed. Thanks for your patience while we get this sorted.

Is it normal for people to leave personal ads online...

Scarpozzi

Scarpozzi

Lifer
....even if they're in a serious relationship?

I'm just wondering how many of those with SERIOUS SOs notice? Mine still has stuff on yahoo personals from a few years back, but updated her picture with one from last summer when we were together. I don't mind, but one of my friends brought it to my attention. Should I have her disable her account? I think she likes getting winked at, etc from complete strangers just to see what people have to say.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
that's grounds for dumpage.

tell her to respect your 'authoritie'
Click to expand...
I don't think it's grounds for dumpage because we live together... I mean, we're close enough that I know what's going on... I think it's harmless...just wondered if everyone thinks I should put a stop to it. My friend doesn't respect that her account is "active" becuase people are sending her messages and she's taken the time to login to read them. It doesn't set off red flags with me because I know where she is every day/night. 😉
 
meh, I still don't think that kind of behavior is even remotely acceptable.

So I'm still going with "no, it's not normal at all"
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: spidey07
that's grounds for dumpage.

tell her to respect your 'authoritie'
Click to expand...
I don't think it's grounds for dumpage because we live together... I mean, we're close enough that I know what's going on... I think it's harmless...just wondered if everyone thinks I should put a stop to it. My friend doesn't respect that her account is "active" becuase people are sending her messages and she's taken the time to login to read them. It doesn't set off red flags with me because I know where she is every day/night. 😉
Click to expand...

Voice your concerns. She is using it as an emotional crutch to make her feel better. Not a good thing for her to do, but not a huge deal either, at least until later on.
 
Originally posted by: spidey07
meh, I still don't think that kind of behavior is even remotely acceptable.

So I'm still going with "no, it's not normal at all"
Click to expand...
Ok...I'll put a stop to it. I just know that she's basically taken the same approach to is as me...(I had a membership on hot or not and yahoo, I think that was active until a few weeks ago)....You sign up and forget about it...when someone sends you a message, you click for something to do, but aren't really interested. She doesn't pay for an account anywhere. All of them are just the free ones that allow people to view your profile.
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: spidey07
that's grounds for dumpage.

tell her to respect your 'authoritie'
Click to expand...
I don't think it's grounds for dumpage because we live together... I mean, we're close enough that I know what's going on... I think it's harmless...just wondered if everyone thinks I should put a stop to it. My friend doesn't respect that her account is "active" becuase people are sending her messages and she's taken the time to login to read them. It doesn't set off red flags with me because I know where she is every day/night. 😉
Click to expand...

It sets off red flags with me:

1. She updated the picture on this ad since you got together.

2. She logs into this account and reads current messages that people send her.

3. You don't seem concerned because "you know where she is every day/night".

Once conclusions that I can easily draw is that she's with you but in the market for someone better if someone happens to come along.
 
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
ZOMG! Online winks from strangers? Tell her to shut up and get in the kitchen to make you a sammich!
😕
Click to expand...
She actually made home-made beef stew the other day. She's got three Paula Dean cookbooks and she knows how to use them. 😉
 
I met my current SO on one of the more popular online dating sites. And truth be told, I was relieved to log in the other day to see she hasn't been active on there in a few weeks. If I were to log on and see updated pics or comments, I think it would bother me because it would tell me that she's still fishing around. My profile is still "searchable" but I have no interest in updating it or replying to messages I receive.

If you trust her then I wouldn't worry about it. She may just like the ego stroking of guys sending her notes. But I would still have concerns if she continues to update it while you're together.
 
Originally posted by: 49erinnc
I met my current SO on one of the more popular online dating sites. And truth be told, I was relieved to log in the other day to see she hasn't been active on there in a few weeks. If I were to log on and see updated pics or comments, I think it would bother me because it would tell me that she's still fishing around. My profile is still "searchable" but I have no interest in updating it or replying to messages I receive.

If you trust her then I wouldn't worry about it. She may just like the ego stroking of guys sending her notes. But I would still have concerns if she continues to update it while you're together.
Click to expand...
The updated photo was there to replace a hideous one that she had uploaded previously when she weighed more. The second picture on the site is actually a picture of us at a ballgame...but the yahoo software zooms in on her picture automatically and you can only see part of my head unless you click on the picture.

She's definitely into ego stroking. She has a low-self image sometimes because she is 200 miles from home and doesn't have many friends because she works all the time and spends the rest of her time with me and people from work. She's doing a lot better than she was last year and the last few months have been pretty good for her. I think she's coming around....if she could only get a job now, things would be great.
 
There are many women who just enjoy or feel the need to receive "winks," flirts, praise, etc from many different people, even strangers. She may not be an "attention whore," per se, but someone who is just natually flirtatious and friendly.

*shrug*
 
Originally posted by: Scarpozzi
Originally posted by: spidey07
meh, I still don't think that kind of behavior is even remotely acceptable.

So I'm still going with "no, it's not normal at all"
Click to expand...
Ok...I'll put a stop to it. I just know that she's basically taken the same approach to is as me...(I had a membership on hot or not and yahoo, I think that was active until a few weeks ago)....You sign up and forget about it...when someone sends you a message, you click for something to do, but aren't really interested. She doesn't pay for an account anywhere. All of them are just the free ones that allow people to view your profile.
Click to expand...

She might get a kick out of the fact that you are concerned. Again, women like drama. Just don't let full control fall into her court. 😉 😛
 
Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
There are many women who just enjoy or feel the need to receive "winks," flirts, praise, etc from many different people, even strangers. She may not be an "attention whore," per se, but someone who is just natually flirtatious and friendly.

*shrug*
Click to expand...
That's really what I needed to hear. That's what I gathered from her personality, thus I think nothing of it. She flirts with one or two of my friends, but not "inappropriately" to me, because she never crosses that line of over the edge...she'll just massage shoulders, hug, etc.... She's like that with my father too...it comes from her parents and the way they raised her. The reason I'm distraught over this is because my best friend here of the last 4-5 years was going to be the best man at my wedding to this girl and he found her ads on yahoo....now he's telling me that he doesn't want to have anything to do with the wedding because he thinks there's something going on... The problem is that I've been so busy with Graduate school and work that we've not been hanging out enough for him to know that it's extremely unlikely that she's doing anything behind my back...
 
I think most likely she has the account active just to see "if she's still got it". I've known far, far too many women who put ads up there merely to attract attention. It pisses me off actually because guys start to email these women thinking they're available when they're not... yet they say they are in the ad just to get attention.

Another of my friends actually got into a bet with another female friend of hers regarding who could get more emails in 24 hours if they both put ads up. So I think chicks put ads up for a myriad of reasons... actually finding someone is nowhere near the top of that list.
 
This sounds really bad to me. The updating of the picture is the part that makes it REALLY bad. I still get emails from when I was signed up on them, but I probably would have deleted the account if it didn't involved crawling through some crummy website I don't feel like going too. Plus, I don't think I'd even remember my password once I got there.

The fact that she updated her pic though shows she wasn't just checking it out because she was curious...it shows she actually took steps to improve her ability to attract more attention from this. Something that a woman in a serious relationship really has no business doing. I'll bet she didn't update the section about what she's looking for though right? That part probably still LTR, and the obligatory preemptive loser blow off "just friends".

Honestly, I'd be pretty upset.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

TRENDING THREADS

Back
Top