Is it common for parent's not to contribute to a wedding?

[Jumpem]

Not only does it look like we are going to be spending $3.5-4k ourselves; but we also have to pay for my fiancee's parent's hotel rooms, car rental, and outfits.

I am getting kind of annoyed with this whole wedding thing. Wish we could just elope.

 

[Alienwho]

I have the feeling that my girlfriends parents aren't going to pay for anything either when we get married. I know how you feel man.

 

[JEDIYoda]

depends on common!! Sounds to me like you are marrying somebody who $$$ speaking is poor!!
When we got married I paid for the ring and the honeymoon!
Her parents paid for everything else!!

They insisted--after all they were happy to get rid of her!!

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: JEDIYoda
depends on common!! Sounds to me like you are marrying somebody who $$$ speaking is poor!!
When we got married I paid for the ring and the honeymoon!
Her parents paid for everything else!!

They insisted--after all they were happy to get rid of her!!

My gf makes good money as an accountant. It's more that her family is extremely poor, and mine are just a bit better off.

 

[Jeff7]

Weddings need not be expensive.

There have been a few threads about this. I just found the post I made in this thread.

Alright, I just got some numbers from my mom about what her wedding cost:

Use of building (for a hiking club) : no charge
20 people, mostly relatives with a few friends
Justice of the Peace: $7
Wedding dress, which she made herself: $15

Everyone was asked to bring a food item, just as is traditional for other family events such as reunions, and my grandmother brought a bouquet of flowers.

She says that she prefers that sort of thing. "No stress. Very simple."

And yes, my parents are still married. I don't know how long it's been. I'm 25, and it's been longer than that.

Weddings need not be insanely expensive things done up Hollywood style.

Maybe expensive weddings are an attempt at a "solution" to the problem of an increased divorce rate. It's a very American solution: throw lots of money at a problem and hope it goes away.

 

[Garet Jax]

My wife's parents are not very wealthy. They do what they can, but they do not have a lot of resources.

We split the wedding 3 ways:

My parents 1/3
Her parents 1/3
My wife and I 1/3

Her parents couldn't pay their share so my wife and I picked up the difference.

Whatever you do, do not go into debt to pay for a wedding. Everyone I know who did that is divorced now - is it cause or effect - I don't know, but I do know that starting off in debt causes a lot of unneccessary stress.

 

[TanisHalfElven]

Originally posted by: Jeff7
Weddings need not be expensive.

There have been a few threads about this. I just found the post I made in this thread.

Alright, I just got some numbers from my mom about what her wedding cost:

Use of building (for a hiking club) : no charge
20 people, mostly relatives with a few friends
Justice of the Peace: $7
Wedding dress, which she made herself: $15

Everyone was asked to bring a food item, just as is traditional for other family events such as reunions, and my grandmother brought a bouquet of flowers.

She says that she prefers that sort of thing. "No stress. Very simple."

And yes, my parents are still married. I don't know how long it's been. I'm 25, and it's been longer than that.

Weddings need not be insanely expensive things done up Hollywood style.

Maybe expensive weddings are an attempt at a "solution" to the problem of an increased divorce rate. It's a very American solution: throw lots of money at a problem and hope it goes away.

man thats one nice wedding. no hundreds of idiots you barely know to handle. no stress of how much its gonna. when i get married that the type i'd like.

 

[theeedude]

Originally posted by: Jumpem
Not only does it look like we are going to be spending $3.5-4k ourselves; but we also have to pay for my fiancee's parent's hotel rooms, car rental, and outfits.

I am getting kind of annoyed with this whole wedding thing. Wish we could just elope.

Seriously, if that's all you are spending, that is nothing. Plus don't you want to have your fiancee's parents there? Maybe they really can't afford it.
I went to a $500K wedding once. I thought it was a bit over the top showing off with too many random rich people, but I did enjoy the open caviar bar.

 

[jiggahertz]

Originally posted by: tanishalfelven

Originally posted by: Jeff7
Weddings need not be expensive.

There have been a few threads about this. I just found the post I made in this thread.

Alright, I just got some numbers from my mom about what her wedding cost:

Use of building (for a hiking club) : no charge
20 people, mostly relatives with a few friends
Justice of the Peace: $7
Wedding dress, which she made herself: $15

Everyone was asked to bring a food item, just as is traditional for other family events such as reunions, and my grandmother brought a bouquet of flowers.

She says that she prefers that sort of thing. "No stress. Very simple."

And yes, my parents are still married. I don't know how long it's been. I'm 25, and it's been longer than that.

Weddings need not be insanely expensive things done up Hollywood style.

Maybe expensive weddings are an attempt at a "solution" to the problem of an increased divorce rate. It's a very American solution: throw lots of money at a problem and hope it goes away.

man thats one nice wedding. no hundreds of idiots you barely know to handle. no stress of how much its gonna. when i get married that the type i'd like.

English?

 

[d33pt]

$500k!?! how many people were there?

 

[txrandom]

Originally posted by: jiggahertz

Originally posted by: tanishalfelven

Originally posted by: Jeff7
Weddings need not be expensive.

There have been a few threads about this. I just found the post I made in this thread.

Alright, I just got some numbers from my mom about what her wedding cost:

Use of building (for a hiking club) : no charge
20 people, mostly relatives with a few friends
Justice of the Peace: $7
Wedding dress, which she made herself: $15

Everyone was asked to bring a food item, just as is traditional for other family events such as reunions, and my grandmother brought a bouquet of flowers.

She says that she prefers that sort of thing. "No stress. Very simple."

And yes, my parents are still married. I don't know how long it's been. I'm 25, and it's been longer than that.

Weddings need not be insanely expensive things done up Hollywood style.

Maybe expensive weddings are an attempt at a "solution" to the problem of an increased divorce rate. It's a very American solution: throw lots of money at a problem and hope it goes away.

man thats one nice wedding. no hundreds of idiots you barely know to handle. no stress of how much its gonna. when i get married that the type i'd like.

English?

He doesn't have good grammar, but it's perfectly simple to understand if you have a bit of common sense.

 

[mattocs]

You are getting married, not them. You could go to the courthouse and get married for like $50, and take your parents and the new wives parents out to dinner. Total of about $200.

 

[Sphexi]

I did elope. Didn't tell either set of parents until afterwards either, they were none too pleased, but I only paid for our hotel room and the justice, everything else was free. Made things a lot easier too.

 

[mugs]

It's becoming more and more common for people to foot all or part of the bill themselves.

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Maybe expensive weddings are an attempt at a "solution" to the problem of an increased divorce rate. It's a very American solution: throw lots of money at a problem and hope it goes away.

They aren't.



Edit: It is also traditional to have the wedding in the bride's hometown, so you can't really complain about having to pay for your in-laws to come.

 

[Torghn]

Spending a lot of money on one day seems like a waste to me. Why do your soon to be inlaws need a car rental or new outfits? I told everyone to just wear something they had at our wedding as it's pointless to buy something new. My wife did buy a wedding dress though.

Just scale everything back. No need to be all fancy, it can still be nice without spending lots of money.

 

[theeedude]

Originally posted by: d33pt
$500k!?! how many people were there?

300+ They rented out a whole luxury hotel.
But both sides were filthy rich.

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: mattocs
You are getting married, not them. You could go to the courthouse and get married for like $50, and take your parents and the new wives parents out to dinner. Total of about $200.

:thumbsup:

If you're all grown up now, why do the parents need to pay? Fund your own parties.

 

[Anubis]

Originally posted by: sixone

Originally posted by: mattocs
You are getting married, not them. You could go to the courthouse and get married for like $50, and take your parents and the new wives parents out to dinner. Total of about $200.

:thumbsup:

If you're all grown up now, why do the parents need to pay? Fund your own parties.

its tradition, when my sister got married my dad footed most of the bill, the grooms parents payed for the rehersial dinner i beleive

everyone payed for their own hotel room

ive been to weddings of 2 friends and had to get my own room as well, ive never heard of paying for the rooms of the guests

 

[bctbct]

Originally posted by: Jumpem




My gf makes good money as an accountant. It's more that her family is extremely poor, and mine are just a bit better off.

So your future inlaws are poor and you bitch because you have to help them out? :roll:

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: Garet Jax
Whatever you do, do not go into debt to pay for a wedding. Everyone I know who did that is divorced now - is it cause or effect - I don't know, but I do know that starting off in debt causes a lot of unneccessary stress.

We already have plenty of debt from college (both student loans and cc's). We are trying to do things cheap, but it is still ballooning to at least $3k.

 

[BCYL]

When we had our wedding, I paid for everything myself... It's our wedding, why should the parents pay?

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: Torghn
Spending a lot of money on one day seems like a waste to me. Why do your soon to be inlaws need a car rental or new outfits? I told everyone to just wear something they had at our wedding as it's pointless to buy something new. My wife did buy a wedding dress though.

Just scale everything back. No need to be all fancy, it can still be nice without spending lots of money.

They need a car rental because their rusting apart 1990 Pontiac Sunbird probably couldn't make the drive without breaking down. They also don't own any clothing nicer than jeans or sweat pants.

 

[dquan97]

Yes, it's common. If you can't afford to have a wedding, keep it within your means and don't go into debt.

 

[CorCentral]

When my wife and I got married, we just went to the Justice of the Peace (whatever it's called), paid less than $200. She talked about having a big wedding and even though we could've afforded it, I'm so glad she did'nt want anything extravagant :laugh:

Her father gave us a $10k check at dinner that night though. Just a gift he said.