Is it better to be born into the adoption system or never to be born at all?

[HAL9000]

Is it better to be born into the adoption system or never to be born at all?

 

[PaperclipGod]

By definition you exist to fill a nonexistant vacancy... so, better if you weren't born at all.

 

[HAL9000]

By definition you exist to fill a nonexistant vacancy... so, better if you weren't born at all.

Sure, but your life continues after that...? Your life isn't defined by your usefulness to others at birth

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

It depends on the time spent "in the system." Newborns don't stay very long. OTOH, I've known folks who grew up in the system and were totally unable to function outside of a structured environment such as the military.

 

[HAL9000]

It depends on the time spent "in the system." Newborns don't stay very long. OTOH, I've known folks who grew up in the system and were totally unable to function outside of a structured environment such as the military.

Fair enough, would they rather be dead than alive?

 

[Evadman]

The adoption system blows. It takes 40-50k to adopt a child. That makes no damn sense. I wonder why so may spend their entire childhood in the adoption system

 

[HAL9000]

The adoption system blows. It takes 40-50k to adopt a child. That makes no damn sense. I wonder why so may spend their entire childhood in the adoption system

Very true, it sucks, I'm sure some of them are doing their best but it is far from perfect.

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

This is an unanswerable question. For two reasons:

1) None of us have ever been not born. So we can't say what it feels like.
2) I'm willing to bet that most of us aren't adopted.

Aside from those, there are another few reasons why if it were answerable, it would be difficult to answer:

1) Most people don't remember their childhoods
2) Young children cannot distinguish fiction from reality purely on the basis of plausibility. This makes it difficult for children to evaluate their experience objectively, and it also makes it difficult to combine different evaluations of childhoods from different orphanages.
3) Orphanages obviously vary greatly, as with everything else.

 

[PaperclipGod]

Sure, but your life continues after that...? Your life isn't defined by your usefulness to others at birth

Since you depend on others for your survival for at least the first decade, your life IS kinda defined by your usefulness to others.

Not to be too cynical... lol.

 

[Nintendesert]

Where's the third option wishing that necktard hadn't been born?

 

[HAL9000]

This is an unanswerable question. For two reasons:

1) None of us have ever been not born. So we can't say what it feels like.
2) I'm willing to bet that most of us aren't adopted.

Aside from those, there are another few reasons why if it were answerable, it would be difficult to answer:

1) Most people don't remember their childhoods
2) Young children cannot distinguish fiction from reality purely on the basis of plausibility. This makes it difficult for children to evaluate their experience objectively, and it also makes it difficult to combine different evaluations of childhoods from different orphanages.
3) Orphanages obviously vary greatly, as with everything else.

All true, but the purpose of the question is would you rather have spent the first part of your life in the adoption system or to have no life at all.

Since you depend on others for your survival for at least the first decade, your life IS kinda defined by your usefulness to others.

Not to be too cynical... lol.

a good, albeit bleak point.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Fair enough, would they rather be dead than alive?

They're unable to tell the difference.

 

[ShawnD1]

It depends on the time spent "in the system." Newborns don't stay very long. OTOH, I've known folks who grew up in the system and were totally unable to function outside of a structured environment such as the military.

This. Three of my close relatives were put in the adoption system as babies. They turned out great. My neighbor had some foster kids that were older and they seemed very troubled.

That movie Problem Child seems fairly accurate.

 

[JulesMaximus]

This will blow your mind: My wife was adopted...and she's pro choice.

 

[HAL9000]

They're unable to tell the difference.

They can't tell the difference between being alive and dead?

 

[HAL9000]

This will blow your mind: My wife was adopted...and she's pro choice.

So would your wife rather have never been born that live the life she has had?

 

[ShawnD1]

So would your wife rather have never been born that live the life she has had?

I'm guessing you don't know what the word choice means

 

[HAL9000]

I'm guessing you don't know what the word choice means

No what does it mean?

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

All true, but the purpose of the question is would you rather have spent the first part of your life in the adoption system or to have no life at all.

What part of my post did you not understand?

 

[JulesMaximus]

So would your wife rather have never been born that live the life she has had?

If she hadn't been born I would have had a different path than the one I followed, different choices to make. Nothing more...nothing less.

 

[HAL9000]

What part of my post did you not understand?

I got all of it, so I rephrased to see if you'd answer my question.

 

[HAL9000]

If she hadn't been born I would have had a different path than the one I followed. Nothing more...nothing less.

I'm asking what your wife would want, not how it would affect you.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Where's the third option wishing that necktard hadn't been born?

This. My adopted cousins rock and this troll makes another ambiguous stupid thread.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

They can't tell the difference between being alive and dead?

It's rather depressing. They are unable to connect with the world in any meaningful way. When something (anything) in the world doesn't work the way they think it should, there is one of two possible reactions. Either they withdraw or, they become aggressive and adversarial. You know, kinda like the average ATOTer.

 

[JulesMaximus]

I'm asking what your wife would want, not how it would affect you.

It's a moot point. Might as well ask me how I'd feel if my Dad never met my Mom...or if she wasn't ovulating when he stuck his prong in her.