Is being Asexual genetic or psychological?

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PuppyLovinGuy

Banned
Apr 14, 2003
58
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I'm 24 and I really don't like being in relationships.
All the dates I've been on (all heterosexual, no homo stuff for me ever) haven't led anywhere.
I think because I don't really care much for that kind of stuff, you know all the relationship BS that goes with it, and my sexual drive hasn't been all that dominating for me.
In fact I'm a pretty good looking guy and I can bench press 285 lbs, so no, I'm not ugly and fat, and no I don't have an attitude problem either. In fact a lot of women hit on me, and they say "you're so sweet" and stuff like that.
The truth is that I really don't feel anything at all for these people, how can you end up spending your life with strangers is all too puzzling for me.
I learned that about half of one side of my family tree never got married, and basically all for the same reasons.
I think I'm well adjusted, I graduated from my college with top honors (I beat 15,000 others students for the top place) and have my own small business, I do okay, but I feel like something is missing, yet I can't get myself to feel anything for anyone. It's just isn't there.
Why?
 
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acidvoodoo

Platinum Member
Jan 6, 2002
2,972
1
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well maybe you just havent met the right girl, that you truely like, not because of her looks or whatever, but just her as a person
 
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OulOat

Diamond Member
Aug 8, 2002
5,769
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I dunno, ask imtim83. He's seems particularly fond of his right hand.
 
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thirtythree

Diamond Member
Aug 7, 2001
8,680
3
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The truth is that I really don't feel anything at all for these people, how can you end up spending your life with strangers is all too puzzling for me.
Click to expand...
I think the idea is that you get to know them well then they aren't strangers anymore. Imagine that! But seriously, if you feel nothing for them maybe you just haven't met the right person. Go out and meet some new people. I sure hope there is someone out there better than the people at my high school otherwise I'm gonna end up like you. And don't you have to be able to reproduce on your own to be considered asexual? I dunno ..
 
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Lonyo

Lifer
Aug 10, 2002
21,938
6
81
Just try and find people who you get along with on an intellectual level, and go from there, don't try for random strangers.
Someone will most probably not come along that you totally click with, but it might happen, and you just have to keep trying.
Expand your horizons and all that crap.
May all seem like the same ol' same ol', but that doesn't stop it being true.
 
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Blackened

Member
Oct 24, 2000
166
0
0
Sounds like you might have problems with imbalanced hormones? If I were you i'd go to a doc/endocrinologist and have your test levels checked..especially if you totally lack a sex drive.
 
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bob332

Banned
Jan 25, 2002
597
0
0
are you on any meds? seriously, i was on some meds for awhile that really screwed up my sex drive. since it sounds like you are in good shape your sex drive should be quite a bit higher. i am not a dr but have talked to many people about this very subject. like blackened said, you might want to talk to a dr about it. atleast he could probably give you better advice than us. :)
 
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Eli

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Oct 9, 1999
50,419
8
81
There are asexual people?

:Q

Quick, post this in the the evolution thread!


:p
 
Siddhartha

Siddhartha

Lifer
Oct 17, 1999
12,505
3
81
Within a certain range of behavior everybody is different. Do not worry about it. Do, this does not include hurting other people, what feels right for you.
 
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Remedy

Diamond Member
Dec 1, 1999
3,981
0
0
PLG, I have the same exact problem as you. But I'm wondering if my social anxiety is keeping me away like this.
 
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amnesiac

Lifer
Oct 13, 1999
15,781
1
71
It's not depression. Depression causes some of what is noted, but also results in decreased energy, social withdrawal and avoidance.

It sounds to me like either you haven't found the right person yet, or possibly you have emotional issues that could use some addressing.
 
hdeck

hdeck

Lifer
Sep 26, 2002
14,530
1
0
Originally posted by: TommyVercetti
Originally posted by: OulOat
I dunno, ask imtim83. He's seems particularly fond of his right hand.
Click to expand...

Ouch! That is a rather harsh thing to say.
Click to expand...

not when intim83 will own up to it with no problem :p
 
M

Mallow

Diamond Member
Jul 25, 2001
6,108
1
0
Do you find women attractive? If you don't have a sex drive that could be a hint of low testosterone output? Go see your doc :)
 

"In fact I'm a pretty good looking guy and I can bench press 285 lbs, so no, I'm not ugly and fat, and no I don't have an attitude problem either. In fact a lot of women hit on me, and they say 'you're so sweet' and stuff like that."

Now you got me curious. Show me your picture first. If you're as good looking as you claim, then maybe we can hook up. I think we'll make a perfect match. I'm not asexual, but I'm not crazy about relationships either. Falling in and out of love is enough for me. let me know if you have any interest in furthering this discussion. My number is. . . . Argh! LOL! How am I sure that you aren't really a puppy loving guy? :/ :eek: LOL!
 
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Richdog

Golden Member
Feb 10, 2003
1,658
0
0
Originally posted by: PuppyLovinGuy
I'm 24 and I really don't like being in relationships.
All the dates I've been on (all heterosexual, no homo stuff for me ever) haven't led anywhere.
I think because I don't really care much for that kind of stuff, you know all the relationship BS that goes with it, and my sexual drive hasn't been all that dominating for me.
In fact I'm a pretty good looking guy and I can bench press 285 lbs, so no, I'm not ugly and fat, and no I don't have an attitude problem either. In fact a lot of women hit on me, and they say "you're so sweet" and stuff like that.
The truth is that I really don't feel anything at all for these people, how can you end up spending your life with strangers is all too puzzling for me.
I learned that about half of one side of my family tree never got married, and basically all for the same reasons.
I think I'm well adjusted, I graduated from my college with top honors (I beat 15,000 others students for the top place) and have my own small business, I do okay, but I feel like something is missing, yet I can't get myself to feel anything for anyone. It's just isn't there.
Why?
Click to expand...



Umm, I think you should seek help a little more professional for this. That is, a little more professional than a computer forum. I'm not by any means saying your'e crazy, but as the human being is a social animal and should genetically OR psychology crave contact with the opposite sex, if I were you and I had that problem I would DEFINATELY do something about it! Seems even though in other regards you're successful, this could leave a painful aftertaste in years to come... Only my humble opinion, tell me where to go if you like. :)
 

In all seriousness, if any of your posts really represents your true life experience, then voila! You have an answer. Your posts seem to suggest a disturbed man. Perhaps people around you whored themselves or treated sex in a way that made you resent it? Are you by chance gay? You made that bishop statement. I don't know if that was a joke or true. Anyway, maybe it's your environment and all you saw around you. Some of us are better off live our lives in solitude in one way or the other. If you have no problem socialising but are not attracted to women, then live your life as you want it. If however you don't feel good about it or don't feel that it's right, then you might want to seek help, considering your background. Hope it works out for you.

P.S.: Pic request is still in order. :p
 
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sohdahere

Senior member
Dec 30, 2002
626
0
0
Uh the word asexual means you produce kids on your own...
I don't think thats possible...

and about not really feeling for anyone-
no ones perfect, just look around and you'll find her..
 
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atom

Diamond Member
Oct 18, 1999
4,722
1
0
Sounds like you're emotionally dead inside. Or maybe your family has the hobo/hermit gene. :p

Heres a question:

Do you really want to find a significant other or are you looking for someone to date because you think it's what "normal" people do?
 
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