Is Australia cursed?

[StinkyPinky]

Reading an article downunder brings me to this...

Forget sharks and crocodiles: the real menace at this time of year, at least for surburban Sydneysiders, is a backyard spider whose bite can kill you in the space of two hours

Okay....just

...considered one of the world's most aggressive and poisonous spiders.

Super deadly AND aggressive.....getting nervous

Unlike most spiders, which scuttle away when disturbed, funnel-webs n which can grow to up to two inches long and may rear up and bare their fangs. People should always shake their shoes...

Super deadly, aggressive, rears up and bears fangs. Hides in shoes. Hmmmm

One species, the paperbark funnel-web, has a bite so lethal that one victim required 17 ampoules of anti-venom.

Has a boss sub-species thats even more shit killing bad ass.

Found mainly in eastern Australia, they are said to be able to leap 18 inches, and their fangs can penetrate soft shoes and fingernails.

they are said to be able to leap 18 inches, and their fangs can penetrate soft shoes and fingernails.

leap 18 inches, and their fangs can penetrate soft shoes and fingernails.

their fangs can penetrate soft shoes and fingernails

WAIT....WHAT?!? It's also fucking superman. It bites through SHOES.

If there is a god, he clearly hates Australians. I think it's their cork hats. D:

 

[Matthiasa]

That is why you keep on a suit of armor and a flamethrower handy at all times.

 

[Newbian]

At least it's not a new zoolanders thread.

Don't forget about drop bears.

 

[Nox51]

See NZ is lucky, only have to worry about crazy sheep!

 

[Newbian]

See NZ is lucky, sheep only have to worry about crazy new zoolanders!

Fixed

 

[Nik]

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2797-deadly-australian-animals/

http://www.cracked.com/article_16868_the-6-deadliest-creatures-that-can-fit-in-your-shoe.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_17173_7-terrifying-creatures-youll-never-see-coming.html

 

[F1N3ST]

OMG. I love your formatting.

 

[Barfo]

See NZ is lucky, only have to worry about crazy sheep!

They have to worry about Mike Gayzors and GodlessAstronomer. I'd rather have the spiders.

 

[Iron Woode]

so, no mention of poisonous snakes, poisonous octopi, poisonous sea snakes, poisonous platypus or even poisonous toads.

 

[Anonemous]

so, no mention of poisonous snakes, poisonous octopi, poisonous sea snakes, poisonous platypus or even poisonous toads.

don't forget the koalas and roos.

 

[onlyCOpunk]

Whatever, North America has it's share of deadly creatures.

But don't forget the stingers that take over the tropic waters in the summer!

 

[Nox51]

They have to worry about Mike Gayzors and GodlessAstronomer. I'd rather have the spiders.

Yeah but those two can't hide in my shoe so I'll take them!

 

[Schadenfroh]

Anyone want to volunteer to head down under to defend maidens from evil spiders in their apartment?

Maybe the OP will make you think twice before playing exterminator.

 

[JMapleton]

I'll pass on Australia.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

Don't forget the deadly Sea Mooses.

 

[Jeff7]

so, no mention of poisonous snakes, poisonous octopi, poisonous sea snakes, poisonous platypus or even poisonous toads.

And of course among the snakes is the Inland Taipan, most venomous snake in the world.

As soon as a baby is born, standard policy should be to begin injecting it with minute quantities of a variety of venoms; that way by the time it's old enough to be wandering outside alone (2), it'll be immune to just about anything it encounters.

 

[shortylickens]

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2797-deadly-australian-animals/

http://www.cracked.com/article_16868_the-6-deadliest-creatures-that-can-fit-in-your-shoe.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_17173_7-terrifying-creatures-youll-never-see-coming.html

I saw this one a long time ago and forgot to post it.
http://www.cracked.com/funny-3809-internet-argument-techniques/

Maybe it should go in my sig.
Then I can say "you just violated rule 4 in my sig, now STFU!"

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

http://www.cracked.com/article_16868...your-shoe.html

lol

But if no one is aware of what happened, you'll probably just appear dead to the world. Nobody will know that you're paralyzed and can't breathe. As they pack you into a body bag, your body reflexively shitting itself, your one final thought will be: "Man, fuck Australia."

 

[CanOWorms]

They also have an evil, venomous Queen.

 

[GodlessAstronomer]

They also have an evil, venomous Queen.

...and now the thread is complete. Thanks for playing CanOWorms.

 

[Oceandevi]

http://www.saynotocrack.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/raccoon.jpg

Aussies cant handle dis.

 

[SunSamurai]

Yeah fuck Auz. Ill stay in nice safe Cali till we become a island, evolve into savage natives, and hide in basements playing Wii and inventing the next cool shiny thing.

 

[Nik]

lol

hehe

 

[onlyCOpunk]

you guys are idiots

 

[BoomerD]

IIRC, it's said that Australia has more animals, insects, and fish that are deadly to humans than any other country/continent on the planet...fortunately, MOST are endemic to Australia, but some are also found in other "inhospitable places."

I've only been there once...in 1971 for a few days on leave. I liked Sydney. (about the only place I was able to visit in the short time I was there.)
Lots of great bars and friendly wimmenz.