Irish Bingo (A stolen Brutuskend JOKE)

Brutuskend

Lifer
Apr 2, 2001
26,558
4
0
A young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi wearing a full-length mink coat.

Begorrah, Colleen," says her mother. "Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?"
Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don't they have wonderful prizes in London?"

When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her mom a few months later. This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring.

Same exchange with Mom . . . same, "Won it at bingo!"
Colleen returns to the bright lights again. A few months later, she's back. This time she's sporting a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings.

She hands her mother 1,000 pounds and explains that she won it all in bingo. Then she asks Mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up.

When Colleen gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub.

Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her Mom being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, calls downstairs, "Mom! Sure now, didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!"

"Indade there is, me darlin," replies her Mom. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo card wet now, do we?"


 

TehMac

Diamond Member
Aug 18, 2006
9,976
3
71
So basically the mom thinks/the woman did engage in prostitution?
 

Zim Hosein

Super Moderator | Elite Member
Super Moderator
Nov 27, 1999
65,460
408
126
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(
 

eplebnista

Lifer
Dec 3, 2001
24,123
36
91
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(

My eyes got big and I thought "Brutuskend! Where the hell have you been."
I got a PM from him on another forum that said he would try to drop by sometime soon.
 

SacrosanctFiend

Diamond Member
Oct 2, 2004
4,269
0
0
Originally posted by: eplebnista
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(

My eyes got big and I thought "Brutuskend! Where the hell have you been."
I got a PM from him on another forum that said he would try to drop by sometime soon.

How hard is it to log-in and make a post? There is no try in that case.
 

waggy

No Lifer
Dec 14, 2000
68,143
10
81
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

so do i. I wish eh would start posting them again...the good jokes i mean.
 

Cyco

Diamond Member
Jan 15, 2002
4,244
174
106
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(

My eyes got big and I thought "Brutuskend! Where the hell have you been."
Same here. Now I'm all bummed out. It wasn't even close to his finest work.:(
 

sandorski

No Lifer
Oct 10, 1999
70,823
6,369
126
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(

My eyes got big and I thought "Brutuskend! Where the hell have you been."

hehe, me too.
 

BriGy86

Diamond Member
Sep 10, 2004
4,537
1
91
Originally posted by: DrPizza
Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
Originally posted by: SacrosanctFiend
I miss Brutuskend's jokes...

BTW, wow...necroposting.

I didn't notice the date of the original post! :(

My eyes got big and I thought "Brutuskend! Where the hell have you been."

I thought the exact same thing.
 

Bill Brasky

Diamond Member
May 18, 2006
4,324
1
0
Here's one of my favorite (stolen) Brutuskend jokes.

Three Rednecks were working on a cell phone tower...Cooter, Jim Bob, and Bubba. As they start their descent down the tower, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Jim Bob says, "Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife."

Bubba says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Jim Bob says, "Where did you get that beer, Bubba?"

"Cooter's wife gave it to me," Bubba replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

"Well, not exactly," Bubba says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Cooter's widow.'"

She said, "You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow."...

then I said "I'll bet you a case of beer you are."