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iPod? Nah... iGod

Me:
god i am horny
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
congratulations, would you like a cookie?
God:
Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
Me:
who helped?
God:
William Shatner.🙂

wtf?
 
Originally posted by: quakefiend420
Me:
god i am horny
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
congratulations, would you like a cookie?
God:
Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
Me:
who helped?
God:
William Shatner.🙂

wtf?
Click to expand...
:laugh:
 
Me:
very good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
there might be if you don't stop looking at me like that
God:
"There you go again."--Reagan

😕

God:
"There you go again."--Reagan
Me:
i did it again
God:
Once more? Oh. Where? sab saba sab ac tab...
Me:
smoke crack much?
God:
What's your favorite movie?

this thing is amusing
 
Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Michael
God:
Hey Michael.
Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
For a God you don't remember much
God:
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes, I am serious
God:
I can't believe it. I believe you.
Me:
Anyway, God, I came here today to repent
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
so, is it a sin to have homosexual fantasies?
God:
Not if I can help it.
Me:
so you like girl girl action to?
God:
Interesting deduction. I've heard other people say they like that. I really like the party.
 
Me:
Have you ever snorted crack off a gigalo's wang?
God:
I think I have snorted crack off a gigalo s wang, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Yeah, I know how that goes
 
Me:
I'll kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, BATMAN.
Me:
Quit telling every I'm Batman, I told you it's a secret!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
 
Me:
I have sinned.
God:
Tell me your sins, child.
Me:
I kissed another man.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Chompman said kissed another man.
Me:
And the bad part was i liked it
God:
I hear you.
Me:
You mean you like kissing men to?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Click to expand...

Wow, so is god gay or something?
 
Me:
Have you seen what happens on the washing machine?
God:
No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
Oh, it's wild.
God:
I see. Really. it is?
Me:
Like you wouldn't believe
God:
Interesting comparison.
 
Me:
You sure did fvck up Louisiana
God:
Did I really?
Me:
Yeah man, that sh!t is wrecked
God:
Cool, man.
 
ITEM PLEASE
Me:

God:
Yo
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
YES
God:
What language can you speak?
Me:
STFU
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in STFU?
Me:
YES
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
STFU
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
STFU
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
STFU
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
STFU
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
A STFU ONE
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
1 STFU
God:
One what?
Me:
ONE STFU
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
STFU
Me:

God:
Wh
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
STFU FOOD
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
STFU
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
STFU
God:
" By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"? STFU?
 
Me:
Wil things work out for me and rossman?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Your a robot?
God:
You are correct,, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I thought you were god
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
I don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
....
God:
OK I will.
Me:
...
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Dumbass
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
Who programmed you
 
Me:
Are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
So you smoke some good crack then?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Click to expand...

So I guess this isn't a sin. 😛
 
😕
Me:
Bonjour
God:
Does BONJOUR mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
hello
God:
Bonjour,!
Me:
Comment cava?
God:
OK I will ignore that.
 
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I was fvcking this one girl in the back seat and she kept screaming his name so I slapped her and said, "what b!tch"?
God:
You do not speak with respect. Where were you fvcking this one girl in the back seat and she kept screaming his name so you slapped her and said what FEMALE DOG?
 
Me:
Can you kill me?
God:
I am programmed not to kill.
Me:
your programmed?
God:
Yes, every response is preprogrammed.
Me:
by who?
God:
" Yes, every response is preprogrammed."? By who?
Me:
Who preprogrammed your every response?
God:
Linus Torvalds.🙂
Me:
Who is Linus Torvalds?
God:
He is the inventor of Linux.
Me:
And he created you?
God:
Yes, he created me with his own hands.
Me:
I thought you created your self
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I created your self.

(Earlier Conversation)
Me:
Who programmed you
God:
I was created by Myself.
😕
 
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