Intervention for morbidly obese friend?

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Atlantean

Diamond Member
May 2, 2001
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I have a friend who would be considered morbidly obese. He constantly goes on diets that last for a few days, and complains that he can't lose weight. A few of his other friends and I were talking about how we were concerned about his health, and how disgusting his eating habits are. None of us really want to be mean to our friend, but his eating habits are getting annoying. The other night when we were making a meal he asked how long it would be until it was ready, when we said 10 minutes, he decided to make another meal so he would have something to eat while he waited. We then went out for drinks and he had another meal, so he had 3 dinners when he could have just had one. Is there an easy way to say "You are becoming a disgusting fat slob, and your eating habits are disgusting. You complain about wanting to lose weight and continue to eat the way you are." Or should it just be left alone.

Also we are starting to suspect he may be clinically depressed or something along those lines as he has actually gained weight lately. He doesn't seem to enjoy the same things, and the few of us that have been depressed or know about psychology can see that he appears to have at least 5 of the 9 or 10 symptoms needed to diagnose clinical depression. Should this perhaps be something that should be addressed rather than the disgusting eating habits? Not really sure how to bring up either subject without sounding like a complete asshole, though one of the women that we are friends with has said she would try if we could think of a good way to bring it up.

EDIT: Also I should mention that by morbidly obese I mean his BMI is over 40, which is necessary to be considered morbidly obese. He is 5'7" and weighs 270.
 
I Saw OJ

I Saw OJ

Diamond Member
Dec 13, 2004
4,923
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I believe the whole point of an intervention is to give the person a wake up call to what they are doing and how wrong it is. Sugar coating things isnt going to help him.
 
msi1337

msi1337

Diamond Member
Apr 16, 2003
7,825
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you treat the depression first and weight second..although they go hand in hand usually. While it is imporant to make the person recognize how they are destroying their body, it is also important to be very supportive on helping them with a life-change.
 
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hjo3

Diamond Member
May 22, 2003
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Originally posted by: Atlantean
his eating habits are getting annoying. The other night when we were making a meal he asked how long it would be until it was ready, when we said 10 minutes, he decided to make another meal so he would have something to eat while he waited.
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Why does that annoy you? It's unusual, but I really don't see how it hurts you any.
 
Hyperlite

Hyperlite

Diamond Member
May 25, 2004
5,664
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Ha. i have a friend with a similar problem...he eats disgustingly, constantly. He goes through gallons of sweet tea a week, and i assume he is becomeing diabetic. He uses Sucralose, and i keep trying to tell him he is setting himself up for a painful future...he responds, "i've been using this stuff (sucralose) for years, and i'm just fine!" :roll: i just want to fire back, 5'7 and 350 pounds is NOT FINE. His organs have got to be screaming.
 
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Chiller2

Senior member
Aug 19, 2005
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I will go on the record and say I am obese 5'7" approx 340lb and I will say your friends eating habits are not normal even for an obese person. I could never eat that much. If you can't wait even 10min to eat something is wrong with you Physically or mentally.
 
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Smartazz

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2005
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Originally posted by: Chiller2
I will go on the record and say I am obese 5'7" approx 340lb and I will say your friends eating habits are not normal even for an obese person. I could never eat that much. If you can't wait even 10min to eat something is wrong with you Physically or mentally.
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yeah, three dinners is a lot, sometimes I go for two, but I can def. wait ten minutes for some food.
 
S

Smartazz

Diamond Member
Dec 29, 2005
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Originally posted by: Ned Flanders
Originally posted by: I Saw OJ
I believe the whole point of an intervention is to give the person a wake up call to what they are doing and how wrong it is. Sugar coating things isnt going to help him.
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Pun? :p
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My thoughts exactly.
 
A

Atlantean

Diamond Member
May 2, 2001
5,296
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Originally posted by: hjo3
Originally posted by: Atlantean
his eating habits are getting annoying. The other night when we were making a meal he asked how long it would be until it was ready, when we said 10 minutes, he decided to make another meal so he would have something to eat while he waited.
Click to expand...
Why does that annoy you? It's unusual, but I really don't see how it hurts you any.
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Because he ate dinner 3 times, and often does this, then complains that he weighs too much.
 
GasX

GasX

Lifer
Feb 8, 2001
29,033
6
81
Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead.

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

pppffffffffftttttttt!!!!!!!
 
moshquerade

moshquerade

No Lifer
Nov 1, 2001
61,504
12
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Originally posted by: Mwilding
Of course I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead.

I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like to get in touch with and forgive... myself.

pppffffffffftttttttt!!!!!!!
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wow... you're huge.

 
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Ilmater

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2002
7,516
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You definitely should confront him, but I would first consult a psychologist to make sure that your intervention goes well. There are guidelines to those things like not placing blame, etc.
 
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Ilmater

Diamond Member
Jun 13, 2002
7,516
1
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Originally posted by: hjo3
Why does that annoy you? It's unusual, but I really don't see how it hurts you any.
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It's annoying because the guy is a friend, and I'm sure he mentions wanting to lose weight, but he does stuff like that and his friends get flustered.
 
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BigPoppa

Golden Member
Oct 9, 1999
1,930
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It won't be an easy situation. I'm extremely overweight myself, but have taken the necessary steps to begin correcting it. I've never eaten like what you described though. That is a whole new level of excess. Treating the depression, like previously mentioned, is going to be the largest step towards enabling him moving into a healthy lifestyle.

Myself, I was entering a state of depression. I haven't had a relationship since my freshmen year of college (in my 4th year now). I have personality by the bucketfull, but no girl wants to hookup with a guy who has a larger chest than they do. Took me a while to accept that I would have to change myself in order to actually do and have the things I wanted in life. I live in Montana and I don't ski or snowboard when we have a couple of the best slopes in the US. We have lakes everywhere and I've never wakeboarded or waterskied(sp). Your friend is going to have to go through the same thing. He has to actually want to change for it to happen.

Get a handle on the depression.
Change eating habits.
Exercise.

Thats the order i've gone in, and its going very well so far. He also needs to understand he doesn't need to go on a diet. He needs to change his entire lifestyle. Also, before he exercises, go get a physical and talk to a doctor. Make sure there aren't any concerns. I'm a former athlete (Football, O-line/D-line, imagine that!), so I have experience with weight training and aerobic exercise which definately helps to prevent overtraining, etc.
 
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bonkers325

Lifer
Mar 9, 2000
13,076
1
0
he eats because he's unhappy, probably. if you get rid of the depression he will probably tone down the excessive eating
 
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