Internet Relationships

Astray

Member
Dec 19, 2005
131
0
0
This has been quite a debate in my family for a long time, and I'm curios to know what others think about it.

I myself have taken a real liking to someone I met online, which has brought me to ask you guys, do you think they would work out very well?

Assuming the relationship isn't purely online (ie. Phone calls, planned visit, etc)
 

crownjules

Diamond Member
Jul 7, 2005
4,858
0
76
As long as you can actually meet, I think it's fine. Nothing wrong with meeting people in your area over the internet. If, however, you mean I live in Boston and I meet a girl in Los Angeles and we have a "relationship", then that sucks. I tried it and it was absolutely horrible and stupid of me. I want to be able to physical touch and see the person on a regular basis.
 

iroast

Golden Member
May 5, 2005
1,364
3
81
They're fine as long as the couple knows what's involved. They're more than likely to fail due to neediness and or temptations from someone closer to home. Good luck.
 

nakedfrog

No Lifer
Apr 3, 2001
60,167
15,087
136
I've been with my GF for seven years now, we met online in a chat room on WBS (which was eventually bought out by Go, then Disney got them, then they pulled the plug on it). Chatted for a few months, had some phone calls, a few visits, then we shacked up.
Someone else I used to work with did the same thing, they've been together for probably three or four years.
 

LanceM

Senior member
Mar 13, 2004
999
0
0
With the assumption that meeting in person is a possibility in the *very near* future, I don't think there's any issue.

Otherwise, it's just sad.
 

Jikininki

Senior member
Mar 21, 2006
655
0
0
I think internet relationships are ok..if you MEET via internet THEN become a real life couple off the internet.

i have a friend who met a girl from world of warcraft. She lives in Toronto, he lives in New Jersey. They talked on ventrilo/team speak for close to a year plus IM's. She finally sent him her picture one day..and he was smitten (she's really not that pretty, imo tho). They become sorta "internet bf/gf" but it wasn't serious because she was still hung up on her exbf (who also happened to play WoW). A few months go by they start talking on the phone...a lot. And finally in March he drove up to see her.

I think the relationship is dumb..and doomed for failure because a)she lives in another country; b)they're way too serious, way too fast -- they've only seen each other in person twice and they're already telling each other "i love you". I think she's his first real girlfriend and he's putting way too much into it. Oh yea..in case anyone asks he's 24 and she's 20. Unless he moves to Toronto, or she moves to Jersey...this relationship will only end in sorrow and tears.
 

49erinnc

Platinum Member
Feb 10, 2004
2,095
0
0
To the OP: Are we talking about a local connection here or long distance? I think that can make a huge difference in how things play out. Personally, I wouldn't care for an online relationship that required extensive travel to interact.

I met someone on Cupid.com back in December after struggling through some rough times due to a separation. Prior to that, I NEVER thought I'd be the type to pursue an online relationship. I guess I thought there was still a negative stigma attached to online dating (only losers). But I have to say that I am still with this person and I have never been happier in my life. We live in the same city however, so spending time together is pretty convenient. At times, we're still both amazed that we connected online, given how well things have worked out. Seems too good to be true but so far, so great.
 

allanon1965

Diamond Member
Mar 14, 2004
3,427
1
81
I met my wife online thru mIRC, (chat client) we lived about 5 hours apart and after 3 months, I moved to her city, found a job, the next year we were married..that will be 8 years ago this september...it definately works and is worth it to me, however as with everything in life YMMV....just my experience:)
 

IeraseU

Senior member
Aug 25, 2004
778
0
71
Against

When you 'chat' with someone you miss 2 key elements of normal 'live' communication, tone and body language. All humans communicate via verbal language, speech tone, and body language simultaneously when speaking with someone in the flesh. The body langauge and tone give subtle ways to 'read' or get to know a person which are unavailable when chatting with someone online or on the phone (which is better then online, but you still miss the visual body language). Since when 'chatting' with someone you have no 'visual cues', you are also much more likely to be deceived then when speaking with someone in the flesh ( how many absolutely gorgeous pictures of women have you seen, that in reality end up being just average looking women, or worst? How many men give the impression of wealth and success when in reality this is not the case?).

I also would like to state that the 'online dating enviorment' is skewed VERY favorably toward the female. Even 'average' looking females are given almost celebrity type attention from men online. This can be somewhat intoxicating for the females not used to being treated this way in person, and they generally have no trouble meeting a much higher quantity of men then is normally the case for them by 'conventional means'.

I would summarize by saying that although there are some advantages to meeting people online, such as being able to speak to people outside of your normal 'social circle', or people in distant and diverse parts of the country or world.......I would advise that trying to form a romantic relationship in this manner can be disastrous.

Note: I do realize people who lack the 'confidence' it takes to talk to a member of the opposite sex may find the task less 'intimidating' online, but generally I would advise that it is perferable to find a way to overcome this deficiency rather then trying to work around it.

Final thoughts: If you're male and have a confident attitude I am sure you will do better meeting women by conventional means. If you're 'very shy' about approaching a female then perhaps you can give the 'online method' a try, but do so only while exercising tremendous caution....not everything is as it may seem.
 

amicold

Platinum Member
Feb 7, 2005
2,656
1
81
Originally posted by: Astray
This has been quite a debate in my family for a long time, and I'm curios to know what others think about it.

I myself have taken a real liking to someone I met online, which has brought me to ask you guys, do you think they would work out very well?

Assuming the relationship isn't purely online (ie. Phone calls, planned visit, etc)

I know people who have had success meeting someone on the internet and staying with them, but the question I have is...have you met her?
 

gigapet

Lifer
Aug 9, 2001
10,005
0
76
I've met girls online but I make the switch from online to phone to real life as fast as possible
if i havent met them after a couple weeks i move on because there is a reason they dont want to meet and its usually because they are super fugly or have some other major defect.
 

Ranger X

Lifer
Mar 18, 2000
11,218
1
0
It's a gamble. About 50% of the time you're talking to some old hairy dude named "Jennifer" on-line. :laugh:
 

RagingBITCH

Lifer
Sep 27, 2003
17,618
2
76
Originally posted by: gigapet
I've met girls online but I make the switch from online to phone to real life as fast as possible
if i havent met them after a couple weeks i move on because there is a reason they dont want to meet and its usually because they are super fugly or have some other major defect.

*ding ding*

If they don't want to meet or always have an excuse, there's a reason.
 

KrillBee

Golden Member
Nov 17, 2005
1,433
0
0
just remember, people tend to present photos online that make them look a lot better than they do in person. (model photos, photos when they were younger, photos from the perfect angle, etc.) I think I've noticed this more with females than males (probably because culture puts so much emphasis on appearances for women)

They could easily be 40 lbs heavier than they were in the pic online. Sure, maybe some call me shallow for saying that, but I'm sure many will still agree with me that this is a valid concern.
 

wyvrn

Lifer
Feb 15, 2000
10,074
0
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After all my years online, I have come to realize the best relationships are with people you can see, feel, touch, and connect with in a personal way. That's my best way of relating to people. If you can make a connection with someone over chat or email, then more power to you. But most of these relationships fall through once the people meet and get to know each other better.
 
Aug 26, 2004
14,685
1
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Originally posted by: Ranger X
It's a gamble. About 50% of the time you're talking to some old hairy dude named "Jennifer" on-line. :laugh:

bad experience you'd like to share? :p
 

HBalzer

Golden Member
Jul 17, 2005
1,259
1
0
Originally posted by: Ranger X
It's a gamble. About 50% of the time you're talking to some old hairy dude named "Jennifer" on-line. :laugh:


So if you?re gay online dating is great? I'd say %95+ of people claiming to be male are male and by your estimate of 50% of people claiming to be female are male so that means good odds for gay men.

Please don?t share your stories!