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Internet Pr0n

M

Mik3y

Banned
A lot of people delete all their bulk email without even reading the titles. I, on the other hand, find much comedy out of what spammers send out. Do they actually think people read these emails and think, "Hey, I am sick of my tiny penis. I'm gonna do something about it and buy some horse pills off the internet! Need my social security number? Original birth certificate? DNA sample? No problem!"

I received one porn email the other day that made me crack up. Here's what the title said:

"Petite bods RAVAGED by monster rods"

First I laughed, then I actually winced in pain when I had a visual of such acts of violence. My butthole has never tightened so fast.

Webster's Dictionary defines ravaged as "To bring heavy destruction on; devastate; cause grievous damage." They also describe a rod as "A scepter, staff, or wand symbolizing power or authority."

Wow, that is so romantic.

Dude: "Baby, tonight we are gonna light some candles, put on some Marvin Gaye, soak together in a hot bubble bath, and then I am gonna cause grievous damage to your Sacred Garden with my giant scepter."
Victim: "Oh honey, I thought you'd never ask! Bring on the heavy destuction!"

I wish my meat wrench was compared to Hurricane Katrina and seen as a symbol of power and authority. There would be no stopping me...
 
Originally posted by: Mik3y
A lot of people delete all their bulk email without even reading the titles. I, on the other hand, find much comedy out of what spammers send out. Do they actually think people read these emails and think, "Hey, I am sick of my tiny penis. I'm gonna do something about it and buy some horse pills off the internet! Need my social security number? Original birth certificate? DNA sample? No problem!"

I received one porn email the other day that made me crack up. Here's what the title said:

"Petite bods RAVAGED by monster rods"

First I laughed, then I actually winced in pain when I had a visual of such acts of violence. My butthole has never tightened so fast.

Webster's Dictionary defines ravaged as "To bring heavy destruction on; devastate; cause grievous damage." They also describe a rod as "A scepter, staff, or wand symbolizing power or authority."

Wow, that is so romantic.

Dude: "Baby, tonight we are gonna light some candles, put on some Marvin Gaye, soak together in a hot bubble bath, and then I am gonna cause grievous damage to your Sacred Garden with my giant scepter."
Victim: "Oh honey, I thought you'd never ask! Bring on the heavy destuction!"

I wish my meat wrench was compared to Hurricane Katrina and seen as a symbol of power and authority. There would be no stopping me...
Click to expand...

interesting... :evil:
 
When they are arrested they always have significant amounts of money and property, so someone is buying this crap.
 
The best I ever had was this:

"An average 115 lb girl's a$$hole can stretch up to 2" in diameter?
THE AVERAGE HORSE'S COCK IS 3 INCHES IN DIAMETER!

YOU DO THE FVCKIN MATH!!!!"


Needless to say, I did not do the questionable math.
 
Originally posted by: DivideBYZero
The best I ever had was this:

"An average 115 lb girl's a$$hole can stretch up to 2" in diameter?
THE AVERAGE HORSE'S COCK IS 3 INCHES IN DIAMETER!

YOU DO THE FVCKIN MATH!!!!"


Needless to say, I did not do the questionable math.
Click to expand...

:shocked:
 
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