Back in the not-to-distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break
From my agenda
Off to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy beneath the bed
And sneak a peek at all the portraits
Of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
Have to hang out with the weirdos in the back room
Of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates on a whole new universe of
Internet ... Porn!
(Internet poooooorn)
Roman orgy scenes
(Internet poooooorn)
Dominatrix queens
(Internet poooooorn)
"Girl on girl" on girl on girl
On girl on guy on sheep
(Internet poooooorn)
Gross anatomy
(Internet poooooorn)
Pam and Tommy Lee
(Internet poooooorn)
When you're given so much to choose from
Who has time to sleep?
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
Then I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity
Until three or four
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Silhouetted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornucopia of
Internet ... Porn!
(Internet poooooorn)
Barely legal teens
(Internet poooooorn)
Naughty figurines
(Internet poooooorn)
Geriatric German grandmas
Spanking Spanish men
(Internet poooooorn)
Erotic Asian art
(Internet poooooorn)
Guys with extra parts
(Internet poooooorn)
I don't think I'm ever going to
See the sun again
(Internet poooooorn)
MelonLove dot com
(Internet poooooorn)
There's my neighbour's Mom
(Internet poooooorn)
Bikers wearing diapers
Chasing nurses dressed like Smurfs
(Internet poooooorn)
Maison Lec Lavage
(Internet poooooorn)
Une-deux-trois menage
(Internet poooooorn)
Every kinda of smut from every
Corner of the Earth!