This is something that's not too difficult to do yourself if your project doesn't have the funds for a 3rd party service.
The difficult part is the appointments/reminders/sending at specific times. This may require some sort of scheduled script to run on a server (task schedule a batch file or something), or procedure that is run at intervals on the database.
However, if you are just manually pushing the e-mails / notifications out from a desktop application, you should be able to just do a "mail()" call through PHP, or a new "MailMessage" through a new "SmtpClient()" in .NET. I'm guessing .NET since you said it's a desktop app, in which case I would check out, IIRC, "System.Net" and "System.Net.Mail." Here's a basic example of something I did for a relative's website (ASP mvc):
Code:
[FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]private[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]bool[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] SendContactEmail([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]ContactFormModel[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] contactFormModel)
{
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]bool[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] bSuccess = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]false[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2];
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]using[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] ([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]var[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] smtpClient = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]new[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]SmtpClient[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2]())
{
smtpClient.EnableSsl = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]false[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2];
smtpClient.Host = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"mail.wherever.com"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2];
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000]// ISPs/other things may block port 25; most have a secondary SMTP port (smarterasp, for instance, uses 8889)
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#008000]//smtpClient.Port = 25;
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2]smtpClient.Port = 8889;
smtpClient.UseDefaultCredentials = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]false[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2];
smtpClient.Credentials = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]new[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]NetworkCredential("smtpuser"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2], [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"password"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2]);
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]StringBuilder[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] sbMailBody = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]new[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]StringBuilder[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2]()
.AppendLine([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"First Name: "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] + contactFormModel.FirstName)
.AppendLine([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"Last Name: "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] + contactFormModel.LastName)
.AppendLine([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"Email Address: "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] + contactFormModel.EmailAddress)
.AppendLine([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"Phone Number: "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] + contactFormModel.PhoneNumber)
.AppendLine([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"Message: "[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] + contactFormModel.ContactText);
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]try
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2]{
smtpClient.Send([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]new[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]MailMessage[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2](
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][EMAIL="sendfrom@wherever.com"]sendfrom@wherever.com[/EMAIL][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2],
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][EMAIL="sendto@whereever.com"]sendto@whereever.com[/EMAIL][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2],
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#a31515]"Subject"[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2],
sbMailBody.ToString()) { BodyEncoding = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]Encoding[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2].ASCII });
bSuccess = [/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]true[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2];
}
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]catch[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] ([/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#2b91af]Exception[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] ex)
{
}
}
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][COLOR=#0000ff]return[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2][FONT=Consolas][SIZE=2] bSuccess;
}
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]
Most other things you mention would primarily be DB issues, but if you can use EF it should be pretty easy. For automatically sending, though, it would really depend on your app/requirements, and I haven't messed around with doing automatic sends too much.