GasX
Lifer
taken from Honda-tech.com forums
Due to all the lame kill stories floating around, I've added random bits of "excitement" into this otherwise boring story of me beating a civic. The added "Bonus" material will be in bold. Enjoy.
Its a cool night for Missouri, a stiff breeze blows in an almost frigid air compared to what we are used to in May. Im riding around with my girl in the car with the windows up and the sunroof open, enjoying some good music and nice scenery. Then she flashes her huge boobs at me!
We drive around more until we hear the shrill scream of an exhuasterized 4 banger piercing the chilly night. The sound was deafening, and im not talking about the V8 "has-more-power-than-a-small-jet" deafening. I mean the sound you get from a car trying to make it up a hill at 7,000RPM. The sound got so loud the sonic waves caused my girls shirt suddenly spontaneously ripped, exposing her ample breasts in the moonlight!
I hear Amber say the words that every guy wants to hear,"You should beat this guy, baby". Good enough for me. I pull up even with him, and I see what Im facing. Two 16-17 year olds, hats on SIDEWAYS and wife-beaters in full effect. They both had bleached blonde hair (think eminem) and wore expressions in their faces that they no doubt had practiced the night before. Thats when they revved their motor to 10k and shot at my face with a pistol. Luckily I caught the bullet in my teeth, chewed it up and shot it out, hitting and killing a prostitute. The sonic waves disintegrated Amber's shorts, also. Now she was fully naked. Baby oil also appeared all over her, as if by magic.
I put it in 3rd going about 40, I didn't know if they were going to want to race yet (yea, who am I kidding). Sure enough, I hear the engine wind up and they find second gear. I wait for them to make the first move. They punch the throttle and I can hear an intake open up and start to scream. I give them a second while I shift down to 2nd gear, then I bury to go-pedal into the floorboard. The intake roars to life and the exhaust note takes on a more sinister tone to it. I see flames shoot hundreds if not thousands of feet out of the civics exhaust, no doubt indicating they have a 250 shot of NAWS on their beast. Luckily, Im running a T-88 with 34PSI. The shear force of my acceleration caused the doors of the civic to literally be sucked inward, crumpling from the intense vacuum caused by my immense speed.
I shift to 3rd at 8k, by now I have a considerable lead. The race is over. I won, handedly.I stay on the throttle a while longer and hit 88mph, at which speed my car travels back in time in a blaze of fire. I meet the parents of the two retards in the civic and assassinate them, suddenly I find myself back in the present. The civic never drove down that road, the two kids were never born, I never raced them and subsequently never hit 88MPH to travel back in time. Also, a group of naked cheerleaders run by, just as a gas station explodes, causing a badass ruckus.
The end.
Due to all the lame kill stories floating around, I've added random bits of "excitement" into this otherwise boring story of me beating a civic. The added "Bonus" material will be in bold. Enjoy.
Its a cool night for Missouri, a stiff breeze blows in an almost frigid air compared to what we are used to in May. Im riding around with my girl in the car with the windows up and the sunroof open, enjoying some good music and nice scenery. Then she flashes her huge boobs at me!
We drive around more until we hear the shrill scream of an exhuasterized 4 banger piercing the chilly night. The sound was deafening, and im not talking about the V8 "has-more-power-than-a-small-jet" deafening. I mean the sound you get from a car trying to make it up a hill at 7,000RPM. The sound got so loud the sonic waves caused my girls shirt suddenly spontaneously ripped, exposing her ample breasts in the moonlight!
I hear Amber say the words that every guy wants to hear,"You should beat this guy, baby". Good enough for me. I pull up even with him, and I see what Im facing. Two 16-17 year olds, hats on SIDEWAYS and wife-beaters in full effect. They both had bleached blonde hair (think eminem) and wore expressions in their faces that they no doubt had practiced the night before. Thats when they revved their motor to 10k and shot at my face with a pistol. Luckily I caught the bullet in my teeth, chewed it up and shot it out, hitting and killing a prostitute. The sonic waves disintegrated Amber's shorts, also. Now she was fully naked. Baby oil also appeared all over her, as if by magic.
I put it in 3rd going about 40, I didn't know if they were going to want to race yet (yea, who am I kidding). Sure enough, I hear the engine wind up and they find second gear. I wait for them to make the first move. They punch the throttle and I can hear an intake open up and start to scream. I give them a second while I shift down to 2nd gear, then I bury to go-pedal into the floorboard. The intake roars to life and the exhaust note takes on a more sinister tone to it. I see flames shoot hundreds if not thousands of feet out of the civics exhaust, no doubt indicating they have a 250 shot of NAWS on their beast. Luckily, Im running a T-88 with 34PSI. The shear force of my acceleration caused the doors of the civic to literally be sucked inward, crumpling from the intense vacuum caused by my immense speed.
I shift to 3rd at 8k, by now I have a considerable lead. The race is over. I won, handedly.I stay on the throttle a while longer and hit 88mph, at which speed my car travels back in time in a blaze of fire. I meet the parents of the two retards in the civic and assassinate them, suddenly I find myself back in the present. The civic never drove down that road, the two kids were never born, I never raced them and subsequently never hit 88MPH to travel back in time. Also, a group of naked cheerleaders run by, just as a gas station explodes, causing a badass ruckus.
The end.
