Brutuskend
Lifer
HoW To KeEp A HeaLthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy aNd dRiVe OtHeR PeOple iNsAnE
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3) Insist your email address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
6) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
7) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
8) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
9) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
10) dontuseanypunctuationorspaces
11) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
12) Sing Along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16) Hum when you ride an elevator.
