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I'm thinking of changing religions

MasterAndCommander

MasterAndCommander

Diamond Member
Compelling reasons why to switch:

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

* Flimsy moral standards.
* Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
* Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

Text 😀
 
you know.. in a thousand years scientology will become a major religion and tom cruise will be considered a saint
 
Beer volcano? Count me in...assuming that this religion doesn't expect me to attend anything or to pay for anything, and that it doesn't require self sacrifice, or self denial.
 
Bump - since today is an 'official' FSM holiday 😀


Overview

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is an amalgamated deity composed of two separate, and distinct parts. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit. Bobby Henderson is the guru of this strange religion.

The One True Monster

As previously noted, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is composed of two separate, and distinct parts:

The Major Pastaer

  • The Flying: This part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster gives it flight, allowing it to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time. This part is irreducibly complex and cannot be broken into components. Doing so would incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if you could do it, and you can't.

  • The Spaghetti Monster: This is commonly recognized as the "body" of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and unlike its other major counterpart, it is composed of several smaller sections. These are called the Minor Pastaer.

The Minor Pastaer

  • The Meatera:It is a symbol of strength and fortitude. This is the source of the Flying Spaghetti Monster's power.

  • The Spaghettien: Also known as the "Noodly Appendage," this allows for the Flying Spaghetti Monster to extend its grasp across the reaches of the universe, affecting everything and anything.

  • The Saucon: This is the veil of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Through this, it is unseen and intangible, but allows it to affect anything and everything at will. There is a great deal more documentation on this phenomenon, but I wish to keep this section from being too lengthy.

Religion
  • The First United Church ofthe Flying Spaghetti Monster - The largest and most widely recgonized church of His Noodlyness , the United Church is said to have existed since the dawn of midgets.

  • The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the sole deity in the monotheistic religion known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMism). It has widely been accepted as fact that this, and only this is the true religion, just as the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true Creator and Overseer.

  • Like the Bible, much of Flying Spaghetti Monsterist lore was passed from generation to generation, much like The Odyssey, The Iliad, and The Simpsons. This was, of course, until it was codified in 1492. There are numerous records of this event as well. The foremost expert on this matter, Bobby Henderson, is a descendent of the original codifier.

  • Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the true religion. Much like the trickster, God, of Christianity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster also deceives the scientific world. This is possible only because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only all-powerful being, and only all-powerful beings can change laboratory results unbeknownst to their finders, showing that the Flying Spaghetti Monster must, in fact, exist. Bear in mind that His ways are mysterious, and there are numerous texts that explain why.

  • There are at least ten million Flying Spaghetti Monsterists in the world today, but because of the scorn they receive, they are often in hiding, afraid to reveal themselves to the world. However, a recent movement by Bobby Henderson, the foremost expert on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism and descendant of The Codifier shows promise in bringing them into the spotlight.


 
Originally posted by: MasterAndCommander
Compelling reasons why to switch:

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

* Flimsy moral standards.
* Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
* Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

Text 😀
Click to expand...

where do i sign up?
im there man!
 
Originally posted by: CVSiN
Originally posted by: MasterAndCommander
Compelling reasons why to switch:

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

* Flimsy moral standards.
* Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
* Our heaven is WAY better. We've got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

Text 😀
Click to expand...

where do i sign up?
im there man!
Click to expand...


By the power vested in me by His Noodlyness, I hereby baptize you as:
Ragu CVSiN de Cavatappi
 
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