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i'm sad today.

🙁
rose.gif
 
I'm not 🙂

:music:I'm so sorry
Mr. Cripple
But I just can't feel too bad for you right now.
Because I'm feeling
So insanely super
That even the fact that you can't walk
Can't bring me down :music:
 
I have moods that strike once a fortnight or so. These moods usually involve a deep-set melancholic self-loathing and penchant for whimsical dramatizing. They stem, I think, not from any particular desire for drama so much as a need to be seen as a calm in the midst of a storm, somehow wise or knowledgable. This is a fiction, of course, I have no more life experience than anyone else. It is rooted in my tendency to overanalyze, to believe that because I analyze I have some advantage over those who do not analyze.

Not that I entirely disagree with that viewpoint.

I once told someone... I think my ultimate goal is to experience the world. Little more, little less. I don't desire the quiet family life any more than I desire the life of a jetsetter - but I do want to go out and seek new experiences as well as familiar intimacy. The biggest issue, I think, is that in some part of my mind I view such experiences as homogeneous: if I've been in one serious relationship, I've been in them all.

This is lunacy, arrogance, and pure immaturity.

But, it is how my mind is wired, to a certain extent. I do not claim to know all relationships or to understand them all. What I do mean is that in my mind, experiencing a relationship after already having had one is not a priority. I have tasted affection, and love, and intimacy, and that is ok for me, for now; I have other things to do, to study, to experience, and they take priority over forcing some ill-fitting attempt at attraction. And so I have meandered on.

I'm no deeper than the next schmoe who walks by. My life is just as single-minded as the next, tainted by myopia and pettiness, I just focus on academics and achievement rather than relationships or some other proxy for self-actualization. In some ways this narcissitic onanism is worse than other such pursuits because it's reinforcing in the most vain way imaginable short of gazing into a mirror for hours on end.

In some ways I'm the most shallow person I know.
 
Originally posted by: Orsorum
I have moods that strike once a fortnight or so. These moods usually involve a deep-set melancholic self-loathing and penchant for whimsical dramatizing. They stem, I think, not from any particular desire for drama so much as a need to be seen as a calm in the midst of a storm, somehow wise or knowledgable. This is a fiction, of course, I have no more life experience than anyone else. It is rooted in my tendency to overanalyze, to believe that because I analyze I have some advantage over those who do not analyze.

Not that I entirely disagree with that viewpoint.

I once told someone... I think my ultimate goal is to experience the world. Little more, little less. I don't desire the quiet family life any more than I desire the life of a jetsetter - but I do want to go out and seek new experiences as well as familiar intimacy. The biggest issue, I think, is that in some part of my mind I view such experiences as homogeneous: if I've been in one serious relationship, I've been in them all.

This is lunacy, arrogance, and pure immaturity.

But, it is how my mind is wired, to a certain extent. I do not claim to know all relationships or to understand them all. What I do mean is that in my mind, experiencing a relationship after already having had one is not a priority. I have tasted affection, and love, and intimacy, and that is ok for me, for now; I have other things to do, to study, to experience, and they take priority over forcing some ill-fitting attempt at attraction. And so I have meandered on.

I'm no deeper than the next schmoe who walks by. My life is just as single-minded as the next, tainted by myopia and pettiness, I just focus on academics and achievement rather than relationships or some other proxy for self-actualization. In some ways this narcissitic onanism is worse than other such pursuits because it's reinforcing in the most vain way imaginable short of gazing into a mirror for hours on end.

In some ways I'm the most shallow person I know.
Click to expand...

😕
 
Originally posted by: Orsorum
I have moods that strike once a fortnight or so. These moods usually involve a deep-set melancholic self-loathing and penchant for whimsical dramatizing. They stem, I think, not from any particular desire for drama so much as a need to be seen as a calm in the midst of a storm, somehow wise or knowledgable. This is a fiction, of course, I have no more life experience than anyone else. It is rooted in my tendency to overanalyze, to believe that because I analyze I have some advantage over those who do not analyze.

Not that I entirely disagree with that viewpoint.

I once told someone... I think my ultimate goal is to experience the world. Little more, little less. I don't desire the quiet family life any more than I desire the life of a jetsetter - but I do want to go out and seek new experiences as well as familiar intimacy. The biggest issue, I think, is that in some part of my mind I view such experiences as homogeneous: if I've been in one serious relationship, I've been in them all.

This is lunacy, arrogance, and pure immaturity.

But, it is how my mind is wired, to a certain extent. I do not claim to know all relationships or to understand them all. What I do mean is that in my mind, experiencing a relationship after already having had one is not a priority. I have tasted affection, and love, and intimacy, and that is ok for me, for now; I have other things to do, to study, to experience, and they take priority over forcing some ill-fitting attempt at attraction. And so I have meandered on.

I'm no deeper than the next schmoe who walks by. My life is just as single-minded as the next, tainted by myopia and pettiness, I just focus on academics and achievement rather than relationships or some other proxy for self-actualization. In some ways this narcissitic onanism is worse than other such pursuits because it's reinforcing in the most vain way imaginable short of gazing into a mirror for hours on end.

In some ways I'm the most shallow person I know.
Click to expand...

Why so hard on yourself?
 
Originally posted by: Orsorum
I have moods that strike once a fortnight or so. These moods usually involve a deep-set melancholic self-loathing and penchant for whimsical dramatizing. They stem, I think, not from any particular desire for drama so much as a need to be seen as a calm in the midst of a storm, somehow wise or knowledgable. This is a fiction, of course, I have no more life experience than anyone else. It is rooted in my tendency to overanalyze, to believe that because I analyze I have some advantage over those who do not analyze.

Not that I entirely disagree with that viewpoint.

I once told someone... I think my ultimate goal is to experience the world. Little more, little less. I don't desire the quiet family life any more than I desire the life of a jetsetter - but I do want to go out and seek new experiences as well as familiar intimacy. The biggest issue, I think, is that in some part of my mind I view such experiences as homogeneous: if I've been in one serious relationship, I've been in them all.

This is lunacy, arrogance, and pure immaturity.

But, it is how my mind is wired, to a certain extent. I do not claim to know all relationships or to understand them all. What I do mean is that in my mind, experiencing a relationship after already having had one is not a priority. I have tasted affection, and love, and intimacy, and that is ok for me, for now; I have other things to do, to study, to experience, and they take priority over forcing some ill-fitting attempt at attraction. And so I have meandered on.

I'm no deeper than the next schmoe who walks by. My life is just as single-minded as the next, tainted by myopia and pettiness, I just focus on academics and achievement rather than relationships or some other proxy for self-actualization. In some ways this narcissitic onanism is worse than other such pursuits because it's reinforcing in the most vain way imaginable short of gazing into a mirror for hours on end.

In some ways I'm the most shallow person I know.
Click to expand...
I'm no doctor, but I'm thinkin maybe a hysterectomy and testosterone therapy might help.

 
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