I'm looking for cool one-liners...

[xirtam]

You know, if they'd make my horoscope a little more vague, they wouldn't have to change it every day.

 

[Electric Amish]

Suck it, Trebek!

amish

 

[yakko]

You read this today.

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

"Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

-Ash
-Army of Darkness

 

[GasX]

This is just one more way of beginning a sentence with the word "this" and ending it with the word "that".

or

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the opposite direction.

=both attributable to George Carlin

Personal Fav (from MacBaine's sig) "Ice to see you!"

 

[docmanhattan]

Beatings will continue until morale improves!

 

[docmanhattan]

<< Suck it, Trebek!

amish >>


Trebek: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Connery: No, but I did something to your mother with this mouth!

bwahahaha!

 

[Rallispec]

<< Suck it, Trebek!

amish >>




i *heart* boobs

 

[vi edit]

I may have been concieved in a barn, but I wasn't born in one!

 

[azazyel]

DOH

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

"American beer is like making love in a canoe. It's f***ing close to water."

 

[spanky]

well... what kinda one-liner are u looking for? and who do u plan on using it on? for picking up girls, try this one "suck me, beautiful"

 

[royaldank]

Termite walks into a bar and says, "Where the bar tender?"

 

[AzAbyss]

"It's hard to soar like an eagle when you work with a bunch of turkeys."

"Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out."

-Az

 

[TapTap]

To Obvious Drunken Idiot:
"Hey buttmunch; I remember my first beer."

 

[Descartes]

<< "American beer is like making love in a canoe. It's f***ing close to water." >>



BWHAHAHAAHAH!

 

[Kev]

<< Termite walks into a bar and says, "Where the bar tender?" >>


??

 

[fatalbert]

your face would make small children cry



bwahahahaha

 

[AzAbyss]

<<

<< Termite walks into a bar and says, "Where the bar tender?" >>


?? >>



He meant "bar tinder" like the wood in the bar.

-Az

 

[TuffGirl]

Here's a few I found through Google that I like:

• "Ah, yes, divorce....... from the Latin wordmeaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet,"
  --- Robin Williams
  
  "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself,"
  --- Roseanne
  
  "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place,"
  -- Billy Crystal
  
  "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
  --- Robin Williams
  
  "What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
  --- Marilyn Pittman

 

[MacBaine]

MENDOZAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WaTaGuMp]

How about this one.



Im not happy till your not happy.

 

[Jfrag Teh Foul]

"Tell me where he is now and I promise I will end this quickly and you will not have to find out what your right ball tastes like"

 

[menderchuck]

here we have a mustache spliced with some cheese and a piece of chalk.

 

[TuffGirl]

Oh yeah, there's somebody's sig here that reads, "I'm a nobody... and nobody's perfect. Therefore, I am perfect."

I like that. Sorry, dunno who to give credit to.