If you're married, does it look respectable to go out to lunch

[dullard]

Originally posted by: djplayx714
My significant other hates my coworker because we have lunch together everyday.

Even if you are perfectly innocent, does it do your marriage good to have all this hatred? Think about it.

 

[aidanjm]

If you are a gay man in a same-sex marriage, then I think it would be fine to have lunch with a member of the opposite sex every day

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: mrchan

Originally posted by: Koing
TRUST ISSUES

People need to be more laid back about stuff like this. If people are going to cheat they will anyway.

I don't care.

Koing

Agreed.

Your wife will have male friends.

Your husband will have female friends.

Friends eat together.

Whats the big deal?

"Female/male friends" as in co-workers or acquaintances are one thing. But going to lunch together EVERY day and spending EVERY 15-minute break together is another; one of them wants to fvck the other, period, and if you don't see that, you're probably either:

1. A teenager, which=you have no idea what you're talking about. Come back when you're a grownup.

2. Not very attractive, in which case its possible for you to go to lunch every day with whoever you want, because they have no intention of fvcking you, and their SO finds it funny that you think you have a chance, rather than threatening.

3. Not very experienced with women/men, and still believe in all that "platonic" highschool bvllshit. All men who have a "serious" (as in go to lunch together every day) platonic relationship with a girl either want her, find her unattractive, or are themselves being retained as a backup/cuddle-bitch.

4. In denial because your woman has such a friend, in which case, she's probably cheated on you already, or at the very least received unwanted advances from her "friend". Trust me, if she's real close with some other guy, then he wants to fvck her, end of story.

I swear, some of you people sound like you've never met a man or woman before. Its all puppy-dogs, lollipops, and rainbows in Candyland, and meanwhile, your woman's crouched on the floor of a cubicle somewhere blowing her "friend".

 

[amicold]

Originally posted by: jtvang125
Not just lunch but they're together at break time and always chit chatting when they walk by the other's desk. Not that I care that they're doing this but I think it's unfair for their significant other. I mean if I was married and found out my wife was going out to lunch with the same guy at work everyday I wouldn't be too happy.

Depends. For all you know the two have been good friends for quite some time and know the SOs.

 

[FreshPrince]

sometime it's all about the smoke buddy.....so it may not be affair?

 

[b0mbrman]

Exactly. Who cares?

 

[Chryso]

It depends on what the rest of the people in the office are like. If you are all a bunch of wankers except for these two then I think you have found the answer.

 

[JasonE4]

There's something about Pam. She's hot. Jim has got to hit that.

 

[dirtboy]

My gf can have lunch with whomever she wants. I trust her.

 

[dawnbug]

No, it doesn't look respectable.

I trust my bf, but I don't always trust other girls.

 

[KMFJD]

Yes, why not? Mind your own damn business

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Then you're only fooling yourself. If you hang out with her every day and flirt, that's a recipe for disaster.

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: HBalzer
I wouldn't like it if my wife went to lunch alone with some guy and spent huge amount of time chit chatting. We all know what the guy wants.

There is a fine line between being trusting and being naive.

Exactly.

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: RichardE

Originally posted by: HBalzer
I wouldn't like it if my wife went to lunch alone with some guy and spent huge amount of time chit chatting. We all know what the guy wants.

There is a fine line between being trusting and being naive.

You are not friends with any females at all? Out of High School yet?

You're asking him if he's out of high school yet, but I'd say that you're pretty young yourself. I've noticed that many young people aren't experienced enough to have good judgement on these types of things. They'll say that nothing will ever happen then- oops!- it happened.

Having good judgement is making sure you don't put yourself in a sticky situation in the first place.

 

[Phlargo]

Originally posted by: Koing
TRUST ISSUES

People need to be more laid back about stuff like this. If people are going to cheat they will anyway.

I don't care.

Koing

QFT. They will cheat anyways.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

The truth is above.

When my wife worked, she occasionally went to lunch with male co workers.
Females, too.

And occasionally, she still goes out for drinks or dinner with some of the same people.

I was/am fine with it.

Now if she was going to lunch with the same guy every day, I would NOT be fine with that.
That can lead to only one thing over time.

 

[AreaCode707]

Who has time to go to lunch every day?

I'd have no problem if my husband went out to lunch with a female co-worker, particularly if it's somebody he works on projects with, has frequent work associations with, etc. Every day seems a little like overkill, especially if other co-workers never go with them, but I still wouldn't be up in arms about it, if that was the only indication of a problem in the marriage.

 

[KMFJD]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Then you're only fooling yourself. If you hang out with her every day and flirt, that's a recipe for disaster.

Wow...paranoid you are...i know, maried people are not allowed to have a frienship outside of their family right?

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: dullard
It starts out ok, but there is a definite fine line that is easilly crossed. Take my experience, tell me where the line was crossed.

1) Had a wife (11 years together, 6 married).
2) She works evenings as a ballroom dance instructor.
3) She dances with all sorts of men all day long (dancing means thigh/thigh and/or chest/chest contact). Of course, I dance with all sorts of women, so this isn't an issue.
4) She starts hanging out with the other dance instructors after work on Tuesdays (usually to a bar).
5) She later starts hanging out with just two dance instructors (one of each gender) on Thursday evening (usually to an apartment) in addition to Tuesday.
6) She later starts hanging out with one male instructor M, W, F, Sat, and Sun in addition to the Tuesday and Thursday outings. They go places and do things she has always refused to ever do with me (innocent things such as drink at a bar, play pool, go bowling, watch a movie, etc).
7) She quits and opens a dance studio with one male instructor. They work all day together, eat lunch together, do "business planning" after work together late into the night.
8) I snoop her emails and they are all love emails discussing intimate body parts and corsets.
9) I file for divorce.
10) I find a loyal GF and am much happier now.

Where exactly is that line crossed? I had a ton of trust for my wife and got burned. I say the line was crossed right around point #5. Others may say it is crossed a bit earlier or a bit later. Either way, jtvang125's description is right near my point #5. Has that line already been crossed? Are they already at point #6 or beyond and he doesn't know it yet?

The Dear Anne newspaper columist said it best: (paraphrased) "if it is work related and necessary, there is nothing wrong with it. If it isn't necessary or work related it probably is innocent but the chance of raising problems is too great to risk. Avoid it at all costs."

I bet all these lunches are not necessary, and thus they have crossed the line. The fact that people are talking about it behind their back is proof enough that it is causing damage (emotional/trust damage to the spouse that is left out).

Very well said. Bravo. :thumbsup:

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Wow...paranoid you are...i know, maried people are not allowed to have a frienship outside of their family right?

You're just too naive to see it. I expect a "YAGT" from you shortly.

 

[KMFJD]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Wow...paranoid you are...i know, maried people are not allowed to have a frienship outside of their family right?

You're just too naive to see it. I expect a "YAGT" from you shortly.

Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: Baked

Originally posted by: dullard
It starts out ok, but there is a definite fine line that is easilly crossed. Take my experience, tell me where the line was crossed.

1) Had a wife (11 years together, 6 married).
2) She works evenings as a ballroom dance instructor.
3) She dances with all sorts of men all day long (dancing means thigh/thigh and/or chest/chest contact). Of course, I dance with all sorts of women, so this isn't an issue.
4) She starts hanging out with the other dance instructors after work on Tuesdays (usually to a bar).
5) She later starts hanging out with just two dance instructors (one of each gender) on Thursday evening (usually to an apartment) in addition to Tuesday.
6) She later starts hanging out with one male instructor M, W, F, Sat, and Sun in addition to the Tuesday and Thursday outings. They go places and do things she has always refused to ever do with me (innocent things such as drink at a bar, play pool, go bowling, watch a movie, etc).
7) She quits and opens a dance studio with one male instructor. They work all day together, eat lunch together, do "business planning" after work together late into the night.
8) I snoop her emails and they are all love emails discussing intimate body parts and corsets.
9) I file for divorce.
10) I find a loyal GF and am much happier now.

Where exactly is that line crossed? I had a ton of trust for my wife and got burned. I say the line was crossed right around point #5. Others may say it is crossed a bit earlier or a bit later. Either way, jtvang125's description is right near my point #5. Has that line already been crossed? Are they already at point #6 or beyond and he doesn't know it yet?

The Dear Anne newspaper columist said it best: (paraphrased) "if it is work related and necessary, there is nothing wrong with it. If it isn't necessary or work related it probably is innocent but the chance of raising problems is too great to risk. Avoid it at all costs."

I bet all these lunches are not necessary, and thus they have crossed the line. The fact that people are talking about it behind their back is proof enough that it is causing damage (emotional/trust damage to the spouse that is left out).

Your wife didn't love you to begin w/. You lived in a lie for 11 years.

Right. I bet you believe in soulmates, too, huh? Love at first sight? Like I said, lollipops, puppy-dogs, and rainbows...

 

[91TTZ]

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

That's just ridiculous.

Why do the less intelligent members on ATOT use ridiculous comparisons like this? A wise man exercises some judgement while an idiot instantly compares that judgement to something extreme and uses that as an excuse to use no judgement.

There's a big difference between forcing your woman to wear a burqa and allowing the conditions to form that will eventually lead to her screwing around behind your back. But I doubt the idiots on here (hint: you) would be able to discern the difference.

 

[AreaCode707]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

That's just ridiculous.

Why do the less intelligent members on ATOT use ridiculous comparisons like this? A wise man exercises some judgement while an idiot instantly compares that judgement to something extreme and uses that as an excuse to use no judgement.

There's a big difference between forcing your woman to wear a burqa and allowing the conditions to form that will eventually lead to her screwing around behind your back. But I doubt the idiots on here (hint: you) would be able to discern the difference.

I'm really hoping he's being sarcastic, but I can't tell...

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Originally posted by: 91TTZ

Originally posted by: KMFJD


Yep, women should just wear a burqa and never leave the house other than to get groceries...ffs

That's just ridiculous.

Why do the less intelligent members on ATOT use ridiculous comparisons like this? A wise man exercizes some judgement... an idiot instantly compares that judgement to something extreme and uses that as an excuse to be, well, an idiot.

There's a big difference between forcing your woman to wear a burqa and allowing her to screw around behind your back. But I doubt the idiots on here (hint: you) would be able to discern the difference.

Don't waste your breath on the kids. Wait until they grow up and marry, and then we'll see how liberal they are when the office douchebag starts hitting on their wives, waiting for the right moment..."Oh, are you guys fighting again? That's too bad. Do you need to talk? What a jerk he is..."

Truth is, if your wife was worth a ******, this question would never come up in the first place.