If you're married, does it look respectable to go out to lunch

[RichardE]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Bad juju man, bad juju

Don't be surprised if you get jumped in a dark alley some night

Meh, not really

We are friends, I know her old man, he knows me. You can be friends wtih your co-workers..Its usually a good thing to be friends with them.

Now..if it was the secretary from another floor who I never work with, I can understand people saying its wrong.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: bsobel

Originally posted by: jtvang125
Not just lunch but they're together at break time and always chit chatting when they walk by the other's desk. Not that I care that they're doing this but I think it's unfair for their significant other. I mean if I was married and found out my wife was going out to lunch with the same guy at work everyday I wouldn't be too happy.

Go get a life so you can stop obsessing on other peoples.

Sounds like the real issue here is the OP's jealousy that he's not the one getting the scandalous lunchtime action.

- M4H

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Originally posted by: RichardE

Originally posted by: HBalzer

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Yet, Lets say one day she said "lets have sex!" would you say no?

Ugh yeah, shes married, I have a gf ((on off though) . Some of us are able to control ourselves. A majority of people I would say are able to control themselves.

Not to mention the people I hang out with are not as easy/slutty as to say "lets have sex"

Where theres a spark, the fire is not far behind! Ask yourself why you flirt with this woman? for kicks? excitement?

 

[MuffD]

I can honestly say that I would trust my wife. My last company, there was this girl in my group that I would go out to lunch with quite some time. She was married too but it was cool just because we both knew we were just hangin out. Nothing outside of being friends. I told my wife so she wouldn't have to get any surprise phone calls from anyone she knew.

 

[Riverhound777]

Well I would say you really need more information before jumping to conclusions. There are girls I know that I would probably do the same thing with even though they are taken. For Instance one of my long time college buddies is also my roomate. And his SO also lives with us and we are good friends. If his SO and I worked at the same place, there is no doubt that we would go to lunch all the time and probably commute with each other, heaven forbid! Would that cause suspicion for someone who didn't know that? Most likely. If you knew the story behind it, I dont think it would.

Now if they never knew each other before working together, thats a different story.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: jtvang125
Not just lunch but they're together at break time and always chit chatting when they walk by the other's desk. Not that I care that they're doing this but I think it's unfair for their significant other. I mean if I was married and found out my wife was going out to lunch with the same guy at work everyday I wouldn't be too happy.

haha sounds like my last job.
there were these 2 people that were married that would always go to breaks and lunches together. we never really found out if they did anything but apparently the guy cheated on his wife with the same woman a few years back.

 

[RichardE]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy

Originally posted by: RichardE

Originally posted by: HBalzer

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Yet, Lets say one day she said "lets have sex!" would you say no?

Ugh yeah, shes married, I have a gf ((on off though) . Some of us are able to control ourselves. A majority of people I would say are able to control themselves.

Not to mention the people I hang out with are not as easy/slutty as to say "lets have sex"

Where theres a spark, the fire is not far behind! Ask yourself why you flirt with this woman? for kicks? excitement?

Why do I need to ask myself why I flirt?

Flirt =! cheating

 

[HBalzer]

Originally posted by: RichardE

Originally posted by: HBalzer

Originally posted by: RichardE
I go out to lunch with this married girl everyday. We are good friends, that is all though. Flirt but nothing more.

Yet, Lets say one day she said "lets have sex!" would you say no?

Ugh yeah, shes married, I have a gf ((on off though) . Some of us are able to control ourselves. A majority of people I would say are able to control themselves.

Not to mention the people I hang out with are not as easy/slutty as to say "lets have sex"

If you spend large amounts of time with someone of the opposite sex there is always that day when you had a fight with your SO and are just feeling down and the other person is feeling horny then the next thing you know you kiss and there it goes.
I?d say a huge percentage of cheaters didn?t start out with cheating on their mind it just happened. The chick doesn?t have to be a slut. You build up a bond and then bam it happens. The people who believe it won?t are the ones that it happens to first.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: bsobel

Originally posted by: jtvang125
Not just lunch but they're together at break time and always chit chatting when they walk by the other's desk. Not that I care that they're doing this but I think it's unfair for their significant other. I mean if I was married and found out my wife was going out to lunch with the same guy at work everyday I wouldn't be too happy.

Go get a life so you can stop obsessing on other peoples.

i hope that was meant for all of atot because they sure could use that advice

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

QFT...let's say you both become good friends at work, and start to share personal stuff. no biggie, just good friends...

but let's say you go through a tough couple months, where you are fighting with your wife consistently...home life has been draining, and it has been rough. you spend time at work with your "friend", and you realize how understanding/caring/listening/attractive she is, as she hears out all your problems. if she starts showing attraction toward you, can you be honest and say this is not a high risk of affairage?

 

[xospec1alk]

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

QFT...let's say you both become good friends at work, and start to share personal stuff. no biggie, just good friends...

but let's say you go through a tough couple months, where you are fighting with your wife consistently...home life has been draining, and it has been rough. you spend time at work with your "friend", and you realize how understanding/caring/listening/attractive she is, as she hears out all your problems. if she starts showing attraction toward you, can you be honest and say this is not a high risk of affairage?

So now, we're not allowed to keep friends of the opposite sex? you guys are ridiculous.

 

[HBalzer]

Originally posted by: xospec1alk

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

QFT...let's say you both become good friends at work, and start to share personal stuff. no biggie, just good friends...

but let's say you go through a tough couple months, where you are fighting with your wife consistently...home life has been draining, and it has been rough. you spend time at work with your "friend", and you realize how understanding/caring/listening/attractive she is, as she hears out all your problems. if she starts showing attraction toward you, can you be honest and say this is not a high risk of affairage?

So now, we're not allowed to keep friends of the opposite sex? you guys are ridiculous.

Friends yes sex partners no. Unless your swingers and your wife knows it's cheating.

 

[essasin]

Originally posted by: Chunkee

Originally posted by: Koing
TRUST ISSUES

People need to be more laid back about stuff like this. If people are going to cheat they will anyway.

I don't care.

Koing

Agreed..people are going to do what they want anyway...just as long as it is not single sided...now if the other does the same thing, and there is griping etc..

then there is a problem..

just as long as they realize the can o worms is open for both.... i cannot stand a rigged game

jC

True but can you really say you would resist a woman who is attractive and finds you attractive, flirts with you everday and looks at you like she wants something more everday for lunch for next months and years. I do not know many guys that would resist, but they could if they just didn't see her at all.

 

[sygyzy]

Do you work in The Office?

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: xospec1alk

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

QFT...let's say you both become good friends at work, and start to share personal stuff. no biggie, just good friends...

but let's say you go through a tough couple months, where you are fighting with your wife consistently...home life has been draining, and it has been rough. you spend time at work with your "friend", and you realize how understanding/caring/listening/attractive she is, as she hears out all your problems. if she starts showing attraction toward you, can you be honest and say this is not a high risk of affairage?

So now, we're not allowed to keep friends of the opposite sex? you guys are ridiculous.

friends yes...but someone you have lunch together and talk with every day just the two of you about personal stuff - i don't hink it'd work out if you are married

 

[MercenaryForHire]

Originally posted by: HBalzer

Originally posted by: xospec1alk

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: JS80
those situations are very high risk of affairage.

true

QFT...let's say you both become good friends at work, and start to share personal stuff. no biggie, just good friends...

but let's say you go through a tough couple months, where you are fighting with your wife consistently...home life has been draining, and it has been rough. you spend time at work with your "friend", and you realize how understanding/caring/listening/attractive she is, as she hears out all your problems. if she starts showing attraction toward you, can you be honest and say this is not a high risk of affairage?

So now, we're not allowed to keep friends of the opposite sex? you guys are ridiculous.

Friends yes sex partners no. Unless your swingers and your wife knows it's cheating.

I don't see them saying "don't do it" ... I just see "high risk"

- M4H

 

[Buck Armstrong]

Is someone else going with them? If so, no big deal, coworkers grabbing lunch. However, if they're going by themselves every day, it could be a problem depending on how the spouse feels. I personally wouldn't like it if I was her husband, but then again, my wife wouldn't like it if it was me and another girl, either.

My wife and I discussed this stuff right before we got married, and we came up with a simple common-sense rule that has served us well: if one partner is uncomfortable with ANYTHING having to do with another person of the opposite sex, all they have to do is say so, and it stops, no questions or arguments about it. In 4 years of marriage, I've invoked the rule once, and she's invoked it twice. No problems so far.

 

[xospec1alk]

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

friends yes...but someone you have lunch together and talk with every day just the two of you about personal stuff - i don't hink it'd work out if you are married

So chit chatting, and taking breaks together is somehow a cause for alarm?

 

[FeuerFrei]

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
Is someone else going with them? If so, no big deal, coworkers grabbing lunch. However, if they're going by themselves every day, it could be a problem depending on how the spouse feels. I personally wouldn't like it if I was her husband, but then again, my wife wouldn't like it if it was me and another girl, either.

My wife and I discussed this stuff right before we got married, and we came up with a simple common-sense rule that has served us well: if one partner is uncomfortable with ANYTHING having to do with another person of the opposite sex, all they have to do is say so, and it stops, no questions or arguments about it. In 4 years of marriage, I've invoked the rule once, and she's invoked it twice. No problems so far.

That's a good policy. I got burned by supposed "innocent friendships" by my ex-wife. She kept kept insisting I wasn't trusting enough. But I was too trusting.

 

[JS80]

You guys need to read up on ladder theory. A female "friend" has no purpose whatsoever.

 

[Tobolo]

It could be part of a rising trend that I have seen talk about on TV where its called an "Office Marriage." Someone that is like their spouse that they spend time with at work and go home to home to be with real spouse at home. If my girlfriend engaged in such activities *kicks to curb*

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: xospec1alk

Originally posted by: GeneValgene

friends yes...but someone you have lunch together and talk with every day just the two of you about personal stuff - i don't hink it'd work out if you are married

So chit chatting, and taking breaks together is somehow a cause for alarm?

no, that's fine. i mean, having lunch together (only two people) every day, and talking about personal stuff all the time, is a recipe for disaster. i'm just saying - there are people with perfect intentions, and who are faithful, who have unknowingly put themselves in a position to fail...i've seen it happen, and the repurcussions aren't pretty

Originally posted by: FeuerFrei

Originally posted by: Buck Armstrong
Is someone else going with them? If so, no big deal, coworkers grabbing lunch. However, if they're going by themselves every day, it could be a problem depending on how the spouse feels. I personally wouldn't like it if I was her husband, but then again, my wife wouldn't like it if it was me and another girl, either.

My wife and I discussed this stuff right before we got married, and we came up with a simple common-sense rule that has served us well: if one partner is uncomfortable with ANYTHING having to do with another person of the opposite sex, all they have to do is say so, and it stops, no questions or arguments about it. In 4 years of marriage, I've invoked the rule once, and she's invoked it twice. No problems so far.

That's a good policy. I got burned by supposed "innocent friendships" by my ex-wife. She kept kept insisting I wasn't trusting enough. But I was too trusting.

here's someone who knows...it's better in groups

 

[preslove]

You're probably exagerating the frequency. I highly doubt it's "every day." Gossip head. Platonic friendships like this are very common.

 

[Baked]

Unless you plan on having a quickie w/ this business associate of yours, I don't see what the problem is.