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If your significant other cheated, would you take him/her back?

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Originally posted by: armatron
Originally posted by: anxi80
no. once a cheater, always a cheater. i know this because ive been the 'other guy' a couple of times. it sucks for the boyfriend, and the risks arent worth the rewards. and i wouldnt want to be in those shoes either.
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you're a fscking arsehole for that. I've had about 3 oppurtunities in that situation and turned every one of them down.
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im not going to say i regret it because i dont regret anything in life. but i do take it as a learning experience and not to sound like im making excuses, but i was young and stupid. only until i was confronted and talked with one of the boyfriends and became friends with him did i get that reality check. given the opportunity again, many years later, i would most defintely not do it again. but yes, for my past actions, i do believe i deserved to be called that. and i commend you for having the will power for walking away in each one of those situations.
 
Originally posted by: archcommus87
What's the definition of cheating here? Sleeping with someone else or just messing around?

And I think a good question to the add to the poll would be, who here has done the cheating themselves? But of course no one would fess up to that.
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Sex would be over the line- it's too special.
 
Originally posted by: TallBill
Originally posted by: vood0g
my ex cheated on me and i never took her back.

my current wife did cheat on me when we were dating, but i didnt find out about it until five years in the relationship. anyhow, i am still with her, but it does bother me when i think about it sometimes. DAMN YOU OP FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT.

scares me sometimes to think that she can keep a secret like that for well over 4 years with out telling me. i only found out because she let her story slip. no sexual relations with the other guy, and we were dating for barely a week at the time. so much has happened between that time and the present that i had to let it go. forgive, but havent forgotten.
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Your obviously not 30+, becuase that seems to be how all older people date.. like multiple people at once for the first month or so.. till they choose to stay with one person. Maybe I didn't read it correctly, but thats what it seems.
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yep, i am only 24.

lets see, i think i was 19 when i first started to date her. roughly 1 month into the relationship was our springbreak and i had to go visit the family for a week. she told me what she did that week and it was cool. roughly 3-4 years later, she was retelling the springbreak story again to her friends about how "cruel" i was to leave her for a whole week and her story didnt tie to what she had originally told me 3-4 years before.

thats when i drilled her and got the truth from her. couldnt break up with her because of it since we already had a 2 year old daughter, and the situation/timing/what happened was very insignificant to what we have, so i stayed with her. but i cant help being mad about it when something comes up that makes it come to my mind.
 
Originally posted by: vood0g
Originally posted by: TallBill
Originally posted by: vood0g
my ex cheated on me and i never took her back.

my current wife did cheat on me when we were dating, but i didnt find out about it until five years in the relationship. anyhow, i am still with her, but it does bother me when i think about it sometimes. DAMN YOU OP FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT.

scares me sometimes to think that she can keep a secret like that for well over 4 years with out telling me. i only found out because she let her story slip. no sexual relations with the other guy, and we were dating for barely a week at the time. so much has happened between that time and the present that i had to let it go. forgive, but havent forgotten.
Click to expand...

Your obviously not 30+, becuase that seems to be how all older people date.. like multiple people at once for the first month or so.. till they choose to stay with one person. Maybe I didn't read it correctly, but thats what it seems.
Click to expand...

yep, i am only 24.

lets see, i think i was 19 when i first started to date her. roughly 1 month into the relationship was our springbreak and i had to go visit the family for a week. she told me what she did that week and it was cool. roughly 3-4 years later, she was retelling the springbreak story again to her friends about how "cruel" i was to leave her for a whole week and her story didnt tie to what she had originally told me 3-4 years before.

thats when i drilled her and got the truth from her. couldnt break up with her because of it since we already had a 2 year old daughter, and the situation/timing/what happened was very insignificant to what we have, so i stayed with her. but i cant help being mad about it when something comes up that makes it come to my mind.
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Would you have ended it, if you didn't have a child together?
 
Originally posted by: vood0g
Originally posted by: TallBill
Originally posted by: vood0g
my ex cheated on me and i never took her back.

my current wife did cheat on me when we were dating, but i didnt find out about it until five years in the relationship. anyhow, i am still with her, but it does bother me when i think about it sometimes. DAMN YOU OP FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT IT.

scares me sometimes to think that she can keep a secret like that for well over 4 years with out telling me. i only found out because she let her story slip. no sexual relations with the other guy, and we were dating for barely a week at the time. so much has happened between that time and the present that i had to let it go. forgive, but havent forgotten.
Click to expand...

Your obviously not 30+, becuase that seems to be how all older people date.. like multiple people at once for the first month or so.. till they choose to stay with one person. Maybe I didn't read it correctly, but thats what it seems.
Click to expand...

yep, i am only 24.

lets see, i think i was 19 when i first started to date her. roughly 1 month into the relationship was our springbreak and i had to go visit the family for a week. she told me what she did that week and it was cool. roughly 3-4 years later, she was retelling the springbreak story again to her friends about how "cruel" i was to leave her for a whole week and her story didnt tie to what she had originally told me 3-4 years before.

thats when i drilled her and got the truth from her. couldnt break up with her because of it since we already had a 2 year old daughter, and the situation/timing/what happened was very insignificant to what we have, so i stayed with her. but i cant help being mad about it when something comes up that makes it come to my mind.
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If she did something like that, I would make her feel guilty as hell for just lying to me for so long. It's not something I would let go easy.
 
to jdub1107,

i dont know, its hard to say if i would stay with her if we didnt have a child. the relationship was on shaky ground on many occasions and i think because of our daughter we decided to tough it out and work out many of our issues.

to merlyn3d,

yea, i did make her feel pretty guilty about it for keeping it from me for so long. and for the most part, i think i did let it go. but a bit of it is still there.

i know in my story i originally said a week into the relationship and in my detailed story i said "roughly a month" into the relationship. what i am trying to say, before someone calls shens, is that it happened very early into the relationship that what happened played a very small role in the time with my wife. she didnt have sex with the guy, the guy was her high school "love", and all that other shit.

 
Originally posted by: acemcmac
Originally posted by: archcommus87
What's the definition of cheating here? Sleeping with someone else or just messing around?

And I think a good question to the add to the poll would be, who here has done the cheating themselves? But of course no one would fess up to that.
Click to expand...

Sex would be over the line- it's too special.
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Anything is too much... a kiss, holding hands (in a way more then friends) anything that shows affection for another person besides your S.O is cheating in my book..

That happened to me, she's gone. Cut off 100% from everything the second I find out...
 
That depends on how long we've been together and whether we actually split up because of it. Last year I would have forgiven an SO for doing so and started working on rebuilding the relationship. Now and for the rest of my life, however, I'll fvcking kick them to the curb. By being unfaithful, they're deeming the relationship between us to be worthless and I will treat them as if they are just as worthless. Fvck'em.
 
Originally posted by: AdamSnow
Originally posted by: acemcmac
Originally posted by: archcommus87
What's the definition of cheating here? Sleeping with someone else or just messing around?

And I think a good question to the add to the poll would be, who here has done the cheating themselves? But of course no one would fess up to that.
Click to expand...

Sex would be over the line- it's too special.
Click to expand...

Anything is too much... a kiss, holding hands (in a way more then friends) anything that shows affection for another person besides your S.O is cheating in my book..

That happened to me, she's gone. Cut off 100% from everything the second I find out...
Click to expand...

:thumbsup:
 
Originally posted by: vood0g
to jdub1107,

i dont know, its hard to say if i would stay with her if we didnt have a child. the relationship was on shaky ground on many occasions and i think because of our daughter we decided to tough it out and work out many of our issues.

to merlyn3d,

yea, i did make her feel pretty guilty about it for keeping it from me for so long. and for the most part, i think i did let it go. but a bit of it is still there.

i know in my story i originally said a week into the relationship and in my detailed story i said "roughly a month" into the relationship. what i am trying to say, before someone calls shens, is that it happened very early into the relationship that what happened played a very small role in the time with my wife. she didnt have sex with the guy, the guy was her high school "love", and all that other shit.
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Yeah, then again, I'm the kinda person that was jealous of my gf because she had been with two other guys (both relationships) before me, and she was my first. Took me a little while to get over that just cuz of the jealousy factor, and I felt that one of the guys was just trying to use her. She's been completely honest with me though, and I can't ask for more than that, it's been very important in me being able to build up trust in her to the point where I can leave her in a room full of guys and know that the most action they have a chance of getting is a kick in the balls if they try anything. She's also made it abundantly clear to me that if I cheated on her she'd have my balls, so in return I told her I'd have her boobs if she was ever unfaithful. (boobs are more important to girls than ovaries, and I'd be lying if I said she didn't have a great set of knockers) 😀

I'm just sorry that you have to live with that, because i know every so often it comes back up and you can't help but be angry about it, it's too bad things like this don't go away.
 
Originally posted by: Arkitech
So let's say you've been in a relationship for awhile and you found out that him or her had cheated. Would you end the relationship or try to make it work?


Has it ever happened to you in the past? How did you handle it?
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It depends. I'm assuming that it is cheating because we never agreed to extramarital affairs. Well, it depends.... If I'm not married to him, hell no, I would not take that crap. I wouldn't even spend 1 minute.... However, if we're married and there are kids, then I'll see if we could work things out if there's any chance left. I will "forgive" but I won't forget. If there are no kids, that's easy.... 😛

Now, tell me you aren't in this situation; hence the question?
 
I got cheated on after a year of dating a girl way back when. I stayed with her for FOUR MORE YEARS! It was off and on... but... DOH!

Live and learn. Thanks to my wife who treats me great I know how much of a pin-cushion ho that chick was.
 
It's never happened to me, though I sincerely feel for the people who have experienced this. I've known far too many people who've seen this first-hand...🙁

NO FRICKIN' WAY would I take that person back. :evil: It's called personal responsibility for one's actions, regardless of the excuse of the person doing the cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater---whether they actually commit the act again, or just THINK about doing it again. Since I would never be able to forget, I would have a really hard time forgiving as well. Maybe I am immature, but if you're not willing to commit yourself to me 100% like I do for you, then you're not worth having. I don't care what anyone says...if you truly love someone, then you respect them...and you sure as heck don't pull that kind of crap. :|

End tirade.
 
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