It was a lovely night for a boat trip. I ravaged my wife in a bed of sweet sex and waited for her to fall asleep. Then I carefully cut myself with a kitchen knife and dropped the bloodied blade on the planks near the mast. Careful not to leave a blood trail, I hopped onto the waiting speedboat and motored away, while a stoolie radioed in a anonymous distress call.
Long story short, I've got a Rolls Royce and a fabulous estate in New Orleans. And a top hat! All thanks to my ruck sack, an alcoholic mother, and my offshore gambling/smuggling ring of which all my friends work at, hence them being out of the country. Mmhey