If you knew you were going to have a mentally retarded child...

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Sam334

Golden Member
Nov 20, 2004
1,150
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or at least think your wife/pregnant gal should get one...

and "too bad your parents didn't decide to get one" doesn't count :p
 
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tweakmm

Lifer
May 28, 2001
18,436
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I really don't know. I'd be leaning strongly towards yes, but damn.
This is a bridge that I'll have to cross when it comes up.
 
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GoingUp

Lifer
Jul 31, 2002
16,720
1
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Originally posted by: BillGates
I would definitely strongly consider it... Sad decision to make but man...
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I agree. I don't know if I could mentally handle having a retarded kid. A lot of the decision depends on how far along my wife is. If shes weeks from having the baby, then were gonna have the kid. If its still a ball of cells and we somehow know, then I'd say yes.
 
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imported_LoKe

Lifer
Jun 4, 2005
19,723
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It'd be rather hard on the parent...I'm not sure how it'd be on the child, I guess it would vary. But as far as I know, the child never really comprehends, but his life would still be tough.

I would have an abortion...it's the decent thing to do.
 
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BrianH1

Platinum Member
May 24, 2005
2,199
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Originally posted by: tweakmm
I really don't know. I'd be leaning strongly towards yes, but damn.
This is a bridge that I'll have to cross when it comes up.
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agreed
 
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Bryophyte

Lifer
Apr 25, 2001
13,430
13
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If I found out early on (first trimester), almost certainly. It would break my heart, but I would do it anyway. If I found out later in the pregnancy, no, unless we're talking about one of those kids born without a brain or something like that.
 
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miniMUNCH

Diamond Member
Nov 16, 2000
4,159
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No.

IMO, aborting a baby because you don't want a retard for a child is really, really selfish.
 
HomeBrewerDude

HomeBrewerDude

Lifer
Jan 18, 2001
14,465
1
0
Originally posted by: BrianH1
Originally posted by: tweakmm
I really don't know. I'd be leaning strongly towards yes, but damn.
This is a bridge that I'll have to cross when it comes up.
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agreed
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exactly, and you're answer might change from pregnancy to pregnancy. I imagine, if I already had a high-needs child, I would be more inclined to avoid having another....
 
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KillerCharlie

Diamond Member
Aug 21, 2005
3,691
68
91
What if the child had a debilitating disease? Chronic illness? Physical deformities? Are we to say who's good enough to live and who doesn't deserve life and should die? "I don't like this one... it has a disease. It'll cost me too much time and money. Let's kill it and try again." Are those free from defects the only ones who should live?
 
HomeBrewerDude

HomeBrewerDude

Lifer
Jan 18, 2001
14,465
1
0
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
What if the child had a debilitating disease? Chronic illness? Physical deformities? Are we to say who's good enough to live and who doesn't deserve life and should die? "I don't like this one... it has a disease. It'll cost me too much time and money. Let's kill it and try again." Are those free from defects the only ones who should live?
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depends. the only way to approach this kind of decision is on a case by case basis. no dogma either way IMO.
 
newParadigm

newParadigm

Diamond Member
Jul 30, 2003
3,667
1
0
why abort, you could offer him/her up for adoption...this being said, my cousin had a baby with Downs Syndrome, sometimes the parents don't find out until 6-7 months in, and an abortion at that stage is just sick in my opinion. Adoption is the best way to go if you cant handle it.

~new

(They didn't offer for adoption, and the baby turned out to only have a slight case of Downs, and has developed more normally than one would think)

 
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Black88GTA

Diamond Member
Sep 9, 2003
3,430
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Originally posted by: miniMUNCH
No.

IMO, aborting a baby because you don't want a retard for a child is really, really selfish.
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What if you don't want to bring a child into the world who cannot function properly on his own? Someone so severely disabled that he cannot take care of himself, hold a job, even carry a proper conversation? Someone who is doomed to be either institutionalized his entire life, relying on others for care - or taken care of by the family for his entire life? Someone who is the object of ridicule by his peers wherever he goes, or when he is out in public?

It's not all about "not wanting a retard for a child." It's not that black and white. Obviously there are different degrees of disability; however, the options for a child with even mild retardation are severely limited when compared to someone without similar afflictions.

If I was going to come out as described above - to be quite honest, I would not have wanted to come out at all.

My .02
 
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Goosemaster

Lifer
Apr 10, 2001
48,775
3
81
Originally posted by: newParadigm
why abort, you could offer him/her up for adoption...this being said, my cousin had a baby with Downs Syndrome, sometimes the parents don't find out until 6-7 months in, and an abortion at that stage is just sick in my opinion. Adoption is the best way to go if you cant handle it.

~new

(They didn't offer for adoption, and the baby turned out to only have a slight case of Downs, and has developed more normally than one would think)
Click to expand...

Which is why you can help yourself deal with it emotionally by adopting

It makes making ends meat a bitch but:

1) you help out a poor child and give them love and hopefully a path to a fruitful future
2) you don't feel that you've abandoned your family line
3) you respect your blood and don't kill the "imprefect child"

Maybe I am thinking of this is too idealistic a context, but I would rather not feel guilty, work my ass off for two kids that I love, and still be proud that my name will live on:)

 
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