If you got married and had to pick your best man...

[cpals]

Hypothetical question:

If you had a brother who you rarely speak to, see him mostly on special occassions and definitely don't hang out with, but have a best friend who you do things with a lot and in some ways are closer than your brother who would you pick for your best man? Would it be looked upon as wrong? Also, the brother does live locally near you.

The brother already married a girl on an island by themselves, so their best man was some jamaican dude or something.

*discuss*

 

[shortylickens]

I have no brothers or male cousins.
Would probably have to go with a friend.
Or maybe an Uncle.

 

[Viperoni]

The friend.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: Viperoni
The friend.

yep.

it's not a written rule that your brother has to be your best man.

 

[middlehead]

The friend.

 

[PowerMacG5]

I thought it was best man, not best brother?

 

[cpals]

Originally posted by: PowerMacG5
I thought it was best man, not best brother?

I didn't know if it would be looked down upon to have your brother not be it or if the brother would be talked about why he wasn't chosen.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: cpals

Originally posted by: PowerMacG5
I thought it was best man, not best brother?

I didn't know if it would be looked down upon to have your brother not be it or if the brother would be talked about why he wasn't chosen.

are you going to have your brother be an usher/groomsman?

 

[cpals]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: cpals

Originally posted by: PowerMacG5
I thought it was best man, not best brother?

I didn't know if it would be looked down upon to have your brother not be it or if the brother would be talked about why he wasn't chosen.

are you going to have your brother be an usher/groomsman?

Well, I'm not getting married, but if I was I would say yes?

 

[Gibsons]

I'd go with my brother, but then again, he wouldn't have chosen someone other than me or our dad to be his best man. If he had, I suppose it would be different.

 

[Eeezee]

Originally posted by: cpals
Hypothetical question:

If you had a brother who you rarely speak to, see him mostly on special occassions and definitely don't hang out with, but have a best friend who you do things with a lot and in some ways are closer than your brother who would you pick for your best friend? Would it be looked upon as wrong? Also, the brother does live locally near you.

Freudian slip, you've already made up your mind about this.

I think you should go with the friend, but I don't have a brother, so I wouldn't know what that's like. Your best man is supposed to be the guy that you're closest to, and sometimes that can be your brother. That's not your case. In your case, you should pick the friend.

You weren't the best man at his wedding, why should he expect to be the best man at yours?

 

[HardcoreRobot]

id pick my bro, in your situation, id pick the friend. its YOUR wedding, dont feel obligated to make sacrifices for tradition...

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: cpals

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: cpals

Originally posted by: PowerMacG5
I thought it was best man, not best brother?

I didn't know if it would be looked down upon to have your brother not be it or if the brother would be talked about why he wasn't chosen.

are you going to have your brother be an usher/groomsman?

Well, I'm not getting married, but if I was I would say yes?

is your brother getting married?

 

[GeekDrew]

I'd pick the friend, no doubt.

 

[bwatson283]

the friend

 

[phisher4]

Here's an option: Don't have bridesmaids or groomsmen at your wedding... I've heard of people not having them and the weddings went great.

I don't know how many weddings where I was the "last" groomsman. Which is actually sort of humiliating... Like being the last guy to be picked in kickball or something.

One of the weddings I didn't even have a cognate bridesmaid -- so I had to walk down the isle with one of the extra groomsmen! Looked pretty funny...

Just my 2 cents.

 

[bunker]

The friend.

My dad was my best man

 

[mugs]

My brother got married. I was neither his best man nor a groomsman. I got married. Neither of my brothers were my best man or groomsmen. I get along fine with my brothers, but we're not close. I see no reason to have your brother be your best man if he's not your best friend.

 

[jonessoda]

Friend. I don't much care for my brother. But then, I don't plan on marriage (or kids).

 

[BoldAsLove]

Id pick my brother because that way you can explain to the friend that its because they are family. That way their is no harsh feelings, as I'd have 2 of my best frinds up there anyway. So you dont want to pick between the two now do you?

 

[EyeMWing]

The 'Best Man' comes from the middle ages, where marriages often followed one of two formats. Either you were rejected, and need to go kidnap the b!tch, or you're the chosen suitor and stood the risk of having her snatched right out of the ceremony by some jealous prick. So naturally, you're getting married with your sword at your side. And in both situations, you need to have your posse around to assure victory. These are, literally, the groom's men. And one of them is the best man - the most skilled and experienced figher, the one you want at your side to make sure the woman stays in your keeping, and your head stays attached to your neck. Someone you literally trust your life and your marriage to. In this day and age, the swords are forgone, because it's now considered very bad style to raid someone else's wedding - but the lineage, and purpose of that position still remains, at least symbolically.

Who would you trust to protect your life and marriage? You have your answer.

 

[minendo]

My best man was not my brother. My brother and I are close, but he never expected to be my best man.

 

[n7]

Originally posted by: moshquerade

Originally posted by: Viperoni
The friend.

yep.

it's not a written rule that your brother has to be your best man.

QFT.