- May 7, 2008
- 3,468
- 6
- 81
If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood...
- Thread starter El Guaraguao
- Start date
shortylickens
No Lifer
- Jul 15, 2003
- 80,287
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- May 7, 2008
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Is it really? lol, Ive been looking throught the site for the past 10 minutes now and it almost seems legit. It also doesnt help that browsing the site on my shitty connection doesnt help.
Mo0o
Lifer
- Jul 31, 2001
- 24,227
- 3
- 76
Sadly, I think it is real. But I did a quick scan and clicked a couple links but still seemed up to snuff for a loonie religion site.
- May 7, 2008
- 3,468
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After doing a search on objective ministries spoof, a lot of ppl are asking the same question. most say its a spoof and link to its wikipedia page, which got deleted for some reason.
Mo0o
Lifer
- Jul 31, 2001
- 24,227
- 3
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<meta name="generator" content="Our Lord Jesus Christ, Who hath generated all" />
AbAbber2k
Diamond Member
- Mar 1, 2005
- 6,474
- 1
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WE FINALLY HAVE PROOF!!!
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/dinoexpedition.html
"This trail was much darker than the previous one and the ground was muddier, as though it had been well trodden. In some places the muddy ground was worn so thin that queerly weathered rock was exposed -- rock that perhaps was shaped millennia ago during the Flood. My hunch was that it was an older trail, the darkness due to the regrowth of surrounding vegetation. It seemed to be heading downward, as if into a valley. Secure in my Faith, I plunged down into this valley of darkness, Johnny barely able to keep up. Finally, after rounding a bend, we found them. Below on the side of the trail was Stubbingwicke, hunched behind a branch with his rifle trained on something large further down in the darkness. Although I could see barely more than shadows, I knew what it was and what was happening. He was about to shoot the Apatosaurus!
"Put down that weapon! The power of Christ compels you!" I immediately commanded, the words flowing through me as if from Above. The power of my rebuke startled both him and the Apatosaurus, causing the former to turn toward me and issue a blasphemous curse while the latter disappeared down the trail. Before Stubbingwicke could notice that his prey was escaping, I ran to head him off. Now between him and the beast, I dropped my gear, rolled up my sleeves, put my fists up and issued a challenge: "If you want that dinosaur, you will have to get through me first!" Seeing that he had no choice but to deal with me, Stubbingwicke dropped his weapons, uttered some more blasphemies, and came at me with his fists. As I engaged him in fisticuffs, I called out to Johnny to take the camera and hurry down the path to get a photo, which the now-panicked guide nevertheless did.
Like most Atheists, Stubbingwicke was all tough talk, but deep inside he was weak since he did not have the Love of Christ to succor him and give him strength. His cynicism and disbelief proved no match for my Faith and I eventually had him on the defensive. As my fists found their mark as if by Divine guidance, he finally fell to the ground on all fours, too tired and beaten to give any more fight. I stayed my fists and stood over his pathetic, subdued form. More curious than angry, I asked him what he hoped to accomplish by killing the Apatosaurus. His reply, snarled from a bleeding cut lip, was as shocking as it was plausible, and I can still remember it verbatim:
"Do you seriously believe that we don't already know about these dinosaurs? Why do you think I agreed to come along on this little Christian adventure of yours? To make sure you don't get what you came for, that's why!""
Apparently "scientists" have been covering up the truth for years!
It screams hoax site, but like others, I clicked through a lot of links... looks like legit creationist bullshit.
WOW.
Edit: The more I read the more I think it's a hoax. But it's so well done... Landover Baptist is one thing, but I actually have known people who fit the profile of this ObjectiveMinistries site.
Edit: And they sell thongs too... Baby Jesus Anti-Fornication Thongs. And Fellowship University jerseys... "FU". Ya looks like a hoax. The thing is... what they're spoofing is so fucking out there already, it's hard not to miss the satire.
http://objectiveministries.org/creation/dinoexpedition.html
"This trail was much darker than the previous one and the ground was muddier, as though it had been well trodden. In some places the muddy ground was worn so thin that queerly weathered rock was exposed -- rock that perhaps was shaped millennia ago during the Flood. My hunch was that it was an older trail, the darkness due to the regrowth of surrounding vegetation. It seemed to be heading downward, as if into a valley. Secure in my Faith, I plunged down into this valley of darkness, Johnny barely able to keep up. Finally, after rounding a bend, we found them. Below on the side of the trail was Stubbingwicke, hunched behind a branch with his rifle trained on something large further down in the darkness. Although I could see barely more than shadows, I knew what it was and what was happening. He was about to shoot the Apatosaurus!
"Put down that weapon! The power of Christ compels you!" I immediately commanded, the words flowing through me as if from Above. The power of my rebuke startled both him and the Apatosaurus, causing the former to turn toward me and issue a blasphemous curse while the latter disappeared down the trail. Before Stubbingwicke could notice that his prey was escaping, I ran to head him off. Now between him and the beast, I dropped my gear, rolled up my sleeves, put my fists up and issued a challenge: "If you want that dinosaur, you will have to get through me first!" Seeing that he had no choice but to deal with me, Stubbingwicke dropped his weapons, uttered some more blasphemies, and came at me with his fists. As I engaged him in fisticuffs, I called out to Johnny to take the camera and hurry down the path to get a photo, which the now-panicked guide nevertheless did.
Like most Atheists, Stubbingwicke was all tough talk, but deep inside he was weak since he did not have the Love of Christ to succor him and give him strength. His cynicism and disbelief proved no match for my Faith and I eventually had him on the defensive. As my fists found their mark as if by Divine guidance, he finally fell to the ground on all fours, too tired and beaten to give any more fight. I stayed my fists and stood over his pathetic, subdued form. More curious than angry, I asked him what he hoped to accomplish by killing the Apatosaurus. His reply, snarled from a bleeding cut lip, was as shocking as it was plausible, and I can still remember it verbatim:
"Do you seriously believe that we don't already know about these dinosaurs? Why do you think I agreed to come along on this little Christian adventure of yours? To make sure you don't get what you came for, that's why!""
Apparently "scientists" have been covering up the truth for years!
It screams hoax site, but like others, I clicked through a lot of links... looks like legit creationist bullshit.
WOW.
Edit: The more I read the more I think it's a hoax. But it's so well done... Landover Baptist is one thing, but I actually have known people who fit the profile of this ObjectiveMinistries site.
Edit: And they sell thongs too... Baby Jesus Anti-Fornication Thongs. And Fellowship University jerseys... "FU". Ya looks like a hoax. The thing is... what they're spoofing is so fucking out there already, it's hard not to miss the satire.
Last edited:
frostedflakes
Diamond Member
- Mar 1, 2005
- 7,925
- 1
- 81
I try to avoid neighborhoods where atheists might live. They are very sad, bitter, lonely people without happiness or joy. They bring the whole neighborhood down along with property values.
Based on the pictures on this page, it is either a spoof or someone sent them images that they didn't "get" and published anyway.
AbAbber2k
Diamond Member
- Mar 1, 2005
- 6,474
- 1
- 0
Life is easy when you're focused on God! Just avoid the temptations of money, sex and... sleep? Maybe that was suppose to represent sloth.
Mike Gayner
Diamond Member
- Jan 5, 2007
- 6,175
- 3
- 0
BeauJangles
Lifer
- Aug 26, 2001
- 13,941
- 1
- 0
This is my new favorite website.
"Fossils are the buired remains of the wicked men and animals that perished 4,000 years ago in the Flood!"
"Fossils are the buired remains of the wicked men and animals that perished 4,000 years ago in the Flood!"
Locut0s
Lifer
- Nov 28, 2001
- 22,205
- 44
- 91
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