If you could make an ad for your candidate of choice...

[tallest1]

In complete honesty I think both Kerry and Bush's ads on TV suck. Not only that but the supporter-funded ads are worse. Pro-Bush ads smear the competition and Pro-Kerry ads are rhetoric or inside jokes that only Kerry-supporters understand. I think both sides can do better.

But if you could fix all that and were hired to make an ad for your candidate of choice what would be on it?

 

[cpumaster]

:beer: ads

 

[Todd33]

A seven minute ad of Bush reading "The Pet Goat" with a stunned face.

 

[jjzelinski]

Bush, he's not Pol Pot.

Bush/Cheney '04!

 

[tallest1]

For a Kerry ad, I'd do one of the two:


Ad 1:
I'd do an all text ad with stats such as
"Number of countries Bush has been too before his presidency"
"Hours serving our country abroad"
"Number of acts of terrorism before 9-11 and after" (an increase)
"National Deficit before and after"
"Number of Jobs created compared to projection/promises"
"Bin Laden's home country"
"Percent of soldiers in above country compared to Iraq"
"Number of soldier deaths"
"Money spent in Iraq vs Afganistan"
"The Man who can bring about change: John Kerry"

Ad2:
Soundbite: "You can't lead America by misleading the American people"
Soundbite: "They have no plans, no positive vision and no understanding of an urgent and undeniable truth, a strong America begins at home"
Soundbite: "Next week, they'll bend over backward with last minute proposals and last minute promises for all they haven't done and pretend they're not who they are."
<insert some soundbite that refers to Bush constantly milking emotions from 9-11>
<insert 'shame on you' clip from McCain>

 

[Gravity]

I'd showcase Kerry's hair, the density of it, the time it takes to cut and sculpt it, the fact that it can be easily replaced if/when necessary.

 

[jjzelinski]

Use a portion of that seven minutes of Bush reading that childrens book during 9/11 and spin it as a unshakable and heroic commitment to our childrens literacy.

 

[cpumaster]

Show that Bush could out drink &amp; out lazy Kerry anytime anywhere
which would qualify him as the president.................... of the beer

 

[Perknose]

My Bush ad would begin, "I'm President Cheney, and I approve of this ad . . . "

 

[kage69]

Damnit perk, you beat me to it! :|

 

[tallest1]

shameless bump

 

[arsbanned]

I would contrast burned bodies of children in Iraq with Bush saying "watch this shot" while he tees off in Golf game #1,273 of his Presidency.

 

[ntdz]

you know that that distortion in F9/11 where it has Bush talking about terrorists then playing golf...it was before September 11th. He was referring to Palestinian terrorists.

 

[rextilleon]

I would have a Bush puppet dancing a two step on a marionette stage and I would have Cheney and Rove manipulating the Bush puppet with carnival music in the background.

 

[tallest1]

#Gives thread CPR#

 

[arsbanned]

you know that that distortion in F9/11 where it has Bush talking about terrorists then playing golf...it was before September 11th. He was referring to Palestinian terrorists.

You have proof he never golfed after he started bombing Iraq? Yeah, OK, whatever. Somehow I doubt that is the case, but I'll take you word for it....

 

[cKGunslinger]

Screw making a commercial, I?m going to go all in and make a documentary!

First, I?ll round up a picture of Kerry with a gun. Then I?ll find a picture of some dead kittens. I will use some fast editing to switch between these two pics on camera. In the background, I?ll play some ominous music, like the Imperial March from Star Wars, or maybe some stock sound clips from Hitler or Charles Manson. And I?ll do a real sad-sounding voice over like ?We don?t know if Kerry just hates kittens or if he is just afraid of them, but we do know this: these kittens are dead and can never come back (cut to shot a cute little girls crying) and these sisters will never know the joy of playing with these kittens again.? I?ll do this over-and-over again, taking two ?facts? and stitching them together haphazardly to imply something sinister.

Then I?ll market my film as a ?documentary? and maybe win some awards! I?ll get really rich, but still wear old-looking clothes and a cap in public. (I?ll of course have a very nice house).

Everyone who already hates Kerry will love me, as I am just feeding their partisan frenzy. People may try to discredit my work by pointing out that the correlation between Kerry and the kittens is absurd. They?ll have such ?evidence? as documents showing that the picture of Kerry was taken 12 years ago, but the kittens died last week. They?ll have footage showing that Kerry wasn?t even within 800 miles of the state the kitten were in at the time of death. And I?ll just sit back and say ?Blah, blah, blah. I have facts. You can?t deny the facts. You are all just brainwashed sheep. Blah, blah, blah.? I?ll then call anyone who disagrees with me ?un-American? and write letters, criticizing them for blatant disregard for the 1st amendment, even though I am the one who has very little working knowledge of civil rights.

It?ll be great, I tell ya!

 

[Moonbeam]

This is John Kerry and this is your brain on drugs.

 

[rextilleon]

Gunslinger, your post made absolutely no sense--don't quit your day job.

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: rextilleon
Gunslinger, your post made absolutely no sense--don't quit your day job.

Umm.. maybe I have to explain to you.. You see, this film-maker, Michael Moore, put together a piece work with the sole purpose of bashing Bush. Now, there's nothing wrong with that, per se, but he then went on to call it a 'documentary.' Again, that's not too bad, as long as it contained facts. An it did, sorta. But it was all very murky and he made some wild and damning implications.

Now, you see. My post was in mock of this film, or what I like to call a joke. Jokes are things that are design to make people laugh, or at least those people who aren't wound tight as a top with a burr up their ass.

Is that a little clearer now?

 

[bamacre]

"Come November, please vote for John Kerry. He'll make a horrible president, but your only other choice is George Bush."


We need a "None of the Above" on the ballot. If neither candidate wins 51% of the votes, then both parties would have to put forth a new nomination. The process continues until someone can get Americans to vote for him/her.

Yeah, I know, it'll never happen. But damnit, I'm sick of the people we have to choose between. Bush or Gore, then Bush or Kerry. Good freakin' grief. What's next? Satan and Satan Jr.?

 

[tallest1]

Originally posted by: cKGunslinger
Screw making a commercial, I?m going to go all in and make a documentary!

First, I?ll round up a picture of Kerry with a gun. Then I?ll find a picture of some dead kittens. I will use some fast editing to switch between these two pics on camera. In the background, I?ll play some ominous music, like the Imperial March from Star Wars, or maybe some stock sound clips from Hitler or Charles Manson. And I?ll do a real sad-sounding voice over like ?We don?t know if Kerry just hates kittens or if he is just afraid of them, but we do know this: these kittens are dead and can never come back (cut to shot a cute little girls crying) and these sisters will never know the joy of playing with these kittens again.? I?ll do this over-and-over again, taking two ?facts? and stitching them together haphazardly to imply something sinister.

Then I?ll market my film as a ?documentary? and maybe win some awards! I?ll get really rich, but still wear old-looking clothes and a cap in public. (I?ll of course have a very nice house).

Everyone who already hates Kerry will love me, as I am just feeding their partisan frenzy. People may try to discredit my work by pointing out that the correlation between Kerry and the kittens is absurd. They?ll have such ?evidence? as documents showing that the picture of Kerry was taken 12 years ago, but the kittens died last week. They?ll have footage showing that Kerry wasn?t even within 800 miles of the state the kitten were in at the time of death. And I?ll just sit back and say ?Blah, blah, blah. I have facts. You can?t deny the facts. You are all just brainwashed sheep. Blah, blah, blah.? I?ll then call anyone who disagrees with me ?un-American? and write letters, criticizing them for blatant disregard for the 1st amendment, even though I am the one who has very little working knowledge of civil rights.

It?ll be great, I tell ya!

LMAO. That made my day

 

[cKGunslinger]

Originally posted by: tallest1

LMAO. That made my day

:thumbsup: Glad to help out. :beer:

 

[shiner]

If I could make an ad for Bush it would be simple.

John Kerry....he's the new LBJ.

That would be enough for anyone with intelligence to understand the meaning loud and clear.

 

[ntdz]

Originally posted by: arsbanned

you know that that distortion in F9/11 where it has Bush talking about terrorists then playing golf...it was before September 11th. He was referring to Palestinian terrorists.

You have proof he never golfed after he started bombing Iraq? Yeah, OK, whatever. Somehow I doubt that is the case, but I'll take you word for it....

whats your point, where in my post did i ever say he didnt golf after the iraq war started? I just stated it was a Michael Moore distortion that he was talking about how we needed to get the terrorists after 9/11....