Do you guys believe in this? It kind of implies fate and I lean against it, but it would be great if it ended up true. My situation is the following. Me and my current girlfriend have been dating for the past 4 years. We are both 19 years old. Some of you might have remembered my thread a while back (September 02) that was about her going to Italy to study abroad. Well, it's been 5 months, and I feel we have grown apart greatly. I am currently at University and have had the opportunity to explore the sea a bit, and although I have remained faithful, I feel like my opportunities are being hindered. So basically, I want to just get a break from our current relationship, and go fishing. I just feel like it would be a major copout on my part to do it while she is in Italy, but I want my choices to not be limited, like they are right now. I care so much for her, and don't want to hurt her. That's why I just haven't said that I want a break yet. I really don't want to hurt her, but I also don't want my opportunities to be hurt. What do you guys think?
If you are meant to be together, you will be together...
- Thread starter Pastore
- Start date
If you are with this girl and still feel like you're "missing out" or you want to explore "options" then there's no question that you shouldn't take a good long look at your relationship and see what it is you're in it for.
When you find "the one" you will KNOW that they are the one you are supposed to be with and you'll stop worrying about your "options"
When you find "the one" you will KNOW that they are the one you are supposed to be with and you'll stop worrying about your "options"
- Nov 27, 1999
- 65,161
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Originally posted by: Zim Hosein
What Hammer posted
Well if it was only movies then I would know that was bs. But, I have been talking to a LOT of people about this lately and the majority of them have all said the phrase, "If you are meant to be together, you'll be together." But, I guess it's not fair to ask this question because the majority of ATers are atheist anyways.
I don't think you should rely on that phrase as an excuse to breakup with your GF to date other people. If you want to see other people, just say so. Don't give her the excuse "if we are meant to be together...". Be straight with her. She'll respect you more for it.
Now, whether or not to breakup while she is still in Italy is your call. How much longer will she be there? The best thing to do would be to wait until she got back from Italy, see what happens, and if you still feel the same way, then break up. However, if she isn't due back for awhile (another 5 months?), then perhaps you should break up now. I will warn you though... if she doesn't feel the same way you do, breaking up with her while she is away *will* hurt her, and may hurt your chances of being with her in the future.
On the other hand, if you call her up and she's been having the same feelings as you, you *will* be consumed by jealousy.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the street. In other words, you, my friend, are in a tight spot.
Ryan
Now, whether or not to breakup while she is still in Italy is your call. How much longer will she be there? The best thing to do would be to wait until she got back from Italy, see what happens, and if you still feel the same way, then break up. However, if she isn't due back for awhile (another 5 months?), then perhaps you should break up now. I will warn you though... if she doesn't feel the same way you do, breaking up with her while she is away *will* hurt her, and may hurt your chances of being with her in the future.
On the other hand, if you call her up and she's been having the same feelings as you, you *will* be consumed by jealousy.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the street. In other words, you, my friend, are in a tight spot.
Ryan
AreaCode707
Lifer
- Sep 21, 2001
- 18,445
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This comes down to a simple a or b. Do you want her or do you want your choices to be unlimited?
Whether or not you are meant to be together is moot, because you won't know that until afterwards. You need to be making decisions based on the criteria you have.
Thanks rgwalt. She does kind of know how I feel right now. She is coming back in June. She does not feel the same way as I do right now, because she doesn't like the people in Italy. Now when she herself goes to University in the fall, I have a feeling she herself will want the same type of freedom I am desiring right now, although right now she isn't thinking about that possibility. You are right, I am in a tight spot.
I understand the choices I have to make, I am just looking for some advice, and whether or not you believe the "if it's meant to be" saying.
How's that phrase go? "If you let someone you love go, and they come back, they are yours to love forever," probably butchered horribly, but what I'm trying to say is love works in strange ways. This quote easily applies to my situation. Basically, my soulmate and I drifted apart for a few (3) years, but now the fire has been re-lit, and it burns even brighter. I'm not really a fatalist, but sometimes things really do seem like they're meant to be.
I'm hardly one to give relationship advice but this is something you should talk over with your current GF about..maybe she feels the same way
Don't tell her! Judgeing by your sig you could care less if you ended up giving her a disease. She will most likely come home and give you one anyway......or so goes popular thought, like it or not.
You are either faithful or not. You decide.
The girls that I have had the opportunity to be with I have known for a long time and know are disease free. I know what the common belief is for girls going to Italy, but she hates everyone there. I do have a feeling though, that when she goes to University next fall she's going to have the same feelings as me.
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