If the Olympics were held in Arkansas...

[WombatWoman]

If the Olympics were held in Arkansas:

1. Doves released during opening ceremonies are shot by the crowd and sold as concession snacks.
   
2. Moonshine replaces anabolic steroids as illicit drug of choice.
   
3. The Big Event? The 100m Sisterchase.
   
4. Instead of shooting at dull old targets, archers take aim at muskrats and ATF agents.
   
5. Urine drug test transformed into "Distance Pissin' Match."
   
6. Olympic Village replaced by Olympic Trailer Park.
   
7. Gold, silver and bronze medals replaced by awards of gold, silver and bronze teeth.
   
8. Opening Ceremony reduced to local with a Lynyrd Skynyrd tape and a trunk full of bottle rockets.
   
9. Hometown favorites falter in gymnastics competitions due to all them extra toes.
   
10. Two words: Billy Bobsledding.

 

[woodie1]

Laughed so hard I fell outta my chair.

How true...How true.

 

[optoman]

LMAO!

 

[yakko]

hahahaha!!!!

 

[Adul]

lmao

 

[kami]

bwhahaha that was good

 

[Chooie]

Nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, WW

 

[Tripleshot]

WTG WW. Laffter,the best medisin.

(I am from Lil' rock Ya know.)

 

[Engineer]

LMAO! Thanks WW...I really needed that!

 

[EmperorNero]

hehe, welcome back, WW.

 

[ltk007]

Billy Bobsleding!!! ROFL!!!

 

[FatAlbo]

Welcome back, WW. I love No. 5 and 8.

 

[narzy]

LMFAO!

 

[convex]

ww...i think you're almost close enough to being considered "from arkansas", heh

 

[Howard]

LOL!

Welcome back.

 

[Mday]

11. I'd actually watch it because it would be in the same time zone.

 

[Toolman]

Good ones WW!

 

[oldandquitemad]

Great to have you back! I hope you are feeling MUCH better.