I Won't Have My Daughter Bringing A Black Man Into This House...

[alkemyst]

Its always been funny, your tastes have just changed.

in 2001 based on an Onion article he was born.

He is personally vested.

 

[Triumph]

I love this one: http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-students-are-going-about-making-fun-of-that-tyl,17131/

For instance, everyone knows Tyler is a little sissy crybaby who wets his pants because he misses his mommy. And my students have hit him pretty hard on that. But have any of them ever noticed how stupid his hair looks? Or how when he runs he looks like a jiggly little fat girl chasing after an ice cream truck? There is so much raw potential here that they're just not tapping into.

Honestly, it breaks my heart to see so many of my students throw away a genuine opportunity to ruin this kid's life.

 

[Triumph]

Man From Future Can't Stop Living In The Less-Far-Into-The-Future

LOS ANGELES—Time-traveling neurotic Guy Axiom, more commonly known as "the Man from the Future," cannot stop living in the past, which to us, in the present, is also the future, but not quite as far into the future as the period Axiom hails from, sources close to the beleaguered 23rd-century scientist reported Monday. "You've got to learn to live in the now, not the now that will have been," Axiom's friend Joe Busey said in an attempt to console Axiom. "There's nothing you can do about things that haven't happened yet but will." The cause of Axiom's worries, his ex-girlfriend Jan Strontium, could not be reached for comment, as she will not be born for another 200 years

 

[Mike Gayner]

I love Onion articles because there's always a few morons who don't understand that it's parody.

 

[Fenixgoon]

oh man this article is great:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-six-flags-ride-based-on-relationship-with-debo,17223/