I woke up this morning...

[Beattie]

I woke up this morning and there was a girl in my bed. I got up took a shower and then I got her to leave.

 

I woke up this morning and pulverised a man with a bag over his head with a baseball bat.

 

[Electric Amish]

then I got her to leave.

Well, that was a dumb thing to do...

 

[Corsairpro]

you should have had another go at it.

 

[Nyical]

Originally posted by: Electric Amish
Well, that was a dumb thing to do...

What getting the girl to leave or bashing the guy with a bag over his head?

 

[Ogg]

I woke up this morning and there was a girl in my bed. I got up took a shower and then she got in the shower with me.








Happens every day. its my wife.
She never leaves......mawhaahaahaahaa

 

[RU482]

Uh...Pics?

 

[Ogg]

Originally posted by: Roger
I woke up this morning and pulverised a man with a bag over his head with a baseball bat.

Hilariouso


:beer:

 

[Jzero]

I woke up this morning
Then I went back to bed
Said I woke up this morning
Then I went right back to bed
Got a funny kind of feelin' like I got broken glass in my underwear
And a herd of wild pigs is trying to chew off my head
You know what I'm sayin'

Well I ain't got not money
I'm just walkin' down the road
Said I ain't got no money, honey
So I'm just walking down this lonely old road
Well, I wish I could get me some money
But I forgot my automated teller code

I was born in a paper sack in the bottom of a sewer
I had to eat dirt clods for breakfast, my family was so poor
My daddy was a waitress, my mama sold bathroom tiles
My brothers and sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child

I got the blues so bad, woo
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll, yeah maybe I'll just go bowlin' instead

I'm just a no good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime

Nothing but a low - down beer bellied, bone headed, pigeon toed, turkey necked, weasle faced, worthless hunk of slime

Guess I pretty low self image
Maybe it's a chemical imbalance or something - I
I should probably go and see a doctor about it when I've got the time
Make it talk
Aw, make it talk, son, make it talk
OK, now make it shut up

Plagues and famine and pestilence always seem to get me down
I always feel so miserable whenever I'm around
I wish somebody would come along, stick a pitchfork through my brain
I'd flush myself right down the toilet, but I'd just clog up the drain

I got the blues so bad
Kinda wish I was dead
Maybe I'll blow my brains out mama
Or maybe I'll go bowling
Or I just might go bowling
Maybe I'll just rent some shoes and go bowling
Maybe I'll join a league, enter a tournament, put on a stupid looking
Shirt and go bowling instead
Yeah

 

[Ladies Man]

Hey I have a question for you, what do you do for a living?

Hey I have a question for you! What are you still doing here????

 

[AnandTech Moderator]

I woke up this morning and banned some nefs.

 

[CraigRT]

same thing happened to me, but i brought her to work with me cause she works here

 

[CraigRT]

Originally posted by: AnandTech Moderator
I woke up this morning and banned some nefs.

lmao

that's great, hehe

 

[Jzero]

Originally posted by: AnandTech Moderator
I woke up this morning and banned some nefs.

*flees the room!

 

[Doggiedog]

I woke up this morning and there was a strange man who took a shower in my house, kept thinking I was a woman and told me to leave my own home.

 

[Brutuskend]

I woke up this mornin' with the sundown shinin' in
I found my mind in a brown paper bag within
I tripped on a cloud and fell-a eight miles high
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)

I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole and then I followed it in
I watched myself crawlin' out as I was a-crawlin' in
I got up so tight I couldn't unwind
I saw so much I broke my mind
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in


(Yeah, yeah, oh-yeah, what condition my condition was in)

Someone painted 'April Fool' in big black letters on a 'Dead End' sign
I had my foot on the gas as I left the road and blew out my mind
Eight miles outta Memphis and I got no spare
Eight miles straight up downtown somewhere
I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in

I said I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in
Yeah yeah oh-yeah

 

[Electric Amish]

Woke up, fell out of bed,
Dragged a comb across my head
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup,
And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat and grabbed my hat
Made the bus in seconds flat
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke,
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream

 

[Coolone]

Originally posted by: AnandTech Moderator
I woke up this morning and banned some nefs.

LoL

 

[FoBoT]

I woke up this morning and there was my wife in my bed. I got up took a shower and then I left for work.

 

[Nyical]

Originally posted by: AnandTech Moderator
I woke up this morning and banned some nefs.

Really...how interesting could you elaborate.....errr...wait never mind.

 

[Brutuskend]

When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized
That I was havin' .. no fun

Chorus:
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

Last time I checked my bankroll,
It was gettin' thin
Sometimes it seems like the bottom
Is the only place I've been
I Chased a rainbow down a one-way street... dead end
And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

Repeat Chorus:

Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls
Tryin' to get away
From all the ears inside my walls
I dreamed the police heard
Everything I thought... what then?
Well I went to court
And the judge's name was Hoffman

Ah but fortunately I have the key to escape reality
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
Well done, hot dog bun, my sister's a nun

 

[illusion88]

I woke up this morning and a dog was on my bed

 

[Brutuskend]

Originally posted by: illusion88
I woke up this morning and a dog was on my bed

Well, his too I'm betting.

 

[LAUST]

This sounds more fitting n00bs

Woke up this mornin' feelin' fine
There's somethin' special on my mind
Last night I met a new girl in the neighbourhood, whoa yeah
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good
(Somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')

She's the kind of girl who's not too shy
And I can tell I'm her kind of guy
She danced close to me like I hoped she would
(she danced with me like I hoped she would)
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good
(Somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')

We only danced for a minute or two
But then she stuck close to me the whole night through
Can I be fallin' in love
She's everthing I've been dreamin' of
She's everthing I've been dreamin' of

I walked her home and she held my hand
I knew it couldn't be just a one-night stand
So I asked to see her next week and she told me I could
(I asked to see her and she told me I could)
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good
(Somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
(Somethin' tells me I'm into somethin', ahhh)

I walked her home and she held my hand
I knew it couldn't be just a one-night stand
So I asked to see her next week and she told me I could
(I asked to see her and she told me I could)
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good
(somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
Somethin' tells me I'm into something good
(somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
To something good, oh yeah, something good
(somethin' tells me I'm into somethin')
To something good, something good, something good

 

I woke up this morning in some guy's bed. He took a shower and then got me to leave.