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I went on jury duty

P

paulney

Diamond Member
I got a letter from court saying it's time to perform my civic duties and show up for potential jury selection. I consider this although boring, a must-do duty of a citizen (at least once in a lifetime), so I showed up on the marked date.

Spent about an hour waiting while the attorney and defense were talking to the judge, and finally 70 potential jurors including myself were summoned into the court room.

Then they announced the charges. A misdemeanor: the guy was arrested for 'lewd and luscious behavior' in public. He was wanking in his car in a public park. Good thing I was sitting in the back row, because when they announced that, I just started cracking up. But that was just peanuts. Apparently the guy wasn't cooperating with the officer, so they piled up charges of resisting arrest and possessing a club and tear gas. There's a whole article in the newspaper about this guy (looks like he's a bit wacko).

Then they started selecting 12 jurors and an alternate. A very long process. Finally the box is full, and the defense lawyer gets to question them to weed out those he doesn't like.

He goes like: do you realize my client is completely innocent? Do you realize the state has a complete burden of prood that he is guilty? Do you understand that I could just sit here and say nothing, do nothing - and my client would be acquitted unless the state proves his guilt? Are you comfortable with the charge? Were you accused of a similiar charge?

At that moment I whispered: OMG, he's using the Chewbacca defense, and people around me started cracking up as well.

Good thing I wasn't called, because if he asked me whether I'm comfortable with the charge, I'd probably just completely lose it and offend the judge 🙂

Anyways, I wasn't selected, and after the selection was complete, they let everyone else go.
 
Just got my letter and I have to go in april.

I start my new job in a week and I have to tell them on the first day that I got a summens.

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT
 
Originally posted by: tm37
Just got my letter and I have to go in april.

I start my new job in a week and I have to tell them on the first day that I got a summens.

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT
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I don't see what the problem is. 😕
 
Umm....what is the chewbacca defense? pull out your bowcaster and shoot people?

What the defense attorney was saying is accurate. His client is innocent until proven guilty. The State has the burden of proof, not the defense. If the State doesn't prove the defendent is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt (a shadow of a doubt for capitol crimes) then you must find the defendent not guilty
 
Originally posted by: smc13
Umm....what is the chewbacca defense? pull out your bowcaster and shoot people?
Click to expand...

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: (pulling down a diagram of Chewie) this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. That does not make sense! (jury looks shocked)

Why would a Wookiee -- an eight foot tall Wookiee -- want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more importantly, you have to ask yourself: what does that have to do with this case? (calmly) Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.

And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation... does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.
 
Originally posted by: smc13
Umm....what is the chewbacca defense? pull out your bowcaster and shoot people?

What the defense attorney was saying is accurate. His client is innocent until proven guilty. The State has the burden of proof, not the defense. If the State doesn't prove the defendent is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt (a shadow of a doubt for capitol crimes) then you must find the defendent not guilty
Click to expand...

Schewbacca defense is from South Park. I realize what he said is completely accurate, it's jsut that the way he said it immediately borught that scene from South Park to my mind 😀
 
I got on a jury once which was pretty cool. I then got another summons like 2 months later for the same court. I tore it up and never went. Recently I got pulled over for jay-walking (it was 1am) and they ran my license. Nothing ever came up so I'm off the hook. Moral of the story = drink beer.
 
so it is from south park? it sounds like something the lawyer (jackie?) from seinfeld would say/do
 
Originally posted by: Nik
Originally posted by: tm37
Just got my letter and I have to go in april.

I start my new job in a week and I have to tell them on the first day that I got a summens.

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT
Click to expand...

I don't see what the problem is. 😕
Click to expand...

Yeah, I mean, damn, it's a paid-for free day off work. 😕
 
Originally posted by: FoBoT
so it is from south park? it sounds like something the lawyer (jackie?) from seinfeld would say/do
Click to expand...


Yes, South Park. Defense used by the cartoon Johnny Cochran.
 
Originally posted by: FoBoT
so it is from south park? it sounds like something the lawyer (jackie?) from seinfeld would say/do
Click to expand...

hehe...the funny thing about that statement is the fact that the lawyer on southpark is supposed to be Johnny Cochrun (sp?) who also seems to be closely tied to the idea behind the lawyer from Seinfeld.
 
Originally posted by: TheNinja
I got on a jury once which was pretty cool. I then got another summons like 2 months later for the same court. I tore it up and never went. Recently I got pulled over for jay-walking (it was 1am) and they ran my license. Nothing ever came up so I'm off the hook. Moral of the story = drink beer.
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But you're a ninja, you have special powers, we mortals don't. QED
 
I had my jury duty monday, but they totally messed up. they told everyone to show up, but they forgot that they didnt have any case for trial that day. they told us that after we watch that stupid video. It would still count as serving for 1 day, so I am ok with that and wont have to do it for at least another 3 yrs. 🙂
 
My wife got picked to be on the jury for a murder trial a few years ago. Took a little less than a week and they found the defendant guilty. She said it was pretty damned clear that the defendant commited the crime.

I've always managed to avoid jury duty.
 
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
while it may have been quite luscious, i believe the correct term is lascivious 🙂

i am 23 and have never been called....
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haha luscious behavior, that's hilarious 😀
 
I always use the "Military Police" defense. No defense attorney wants a soldier, especially one trained as a cop to sit in that jury box. It works every time. 😉
 
Originally posted by: Rogue
I always use the "Military Police" defense. No defense attorney wants a soldier, especially one trained as a cop to sit in that jury box. It works every time. 😉
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Oh yeah! When the case was announced, the judge started asking:
J: does anyone know the parties involved? Officer #1?
Some Guy: - Yes!
J: officer #2?
Some guy: Yes!
J: Officer #3?
Some guy: Yes!
J: Officer #4?
Some guy: Yes!

The whole courtroom was pretty much laughing at that point. Lo and behold, this guy gets called in the jury box. Turns out he is a former cop from the police department that tacked the wanker 🙂 The guy was excused that very minute.
 
if you do serve, aren't you exempt for a long time after ? I served for 10 days on a grand jury and I am exempt for the next 8 years. If they hadn't picked me to serve, they would've just kept summoning me over the course of the next few months. I'd rather get it over with. How does it work out for you ?
 
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