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I was cutting the grass

  • Thread starter Thread starter Q
  • Start date Start date
Q

Q

Lifer
He scared the jeebers out of me, I saw him like 2 feet away from the mower and I got scared and ran.

When I came back he was gone, probably went underneath the house since the door was open. I just hope he doesn't come through the toilet one day, I read that they can do that.
 
Originally posted by: Fullmetal Chocobo
So * (Quintox + lawnmower) < snake? 😉
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That may be true but that's because I am the inverse of awesome...

wait, wait, that didn't come out right...

 
The snake probably went home and told his little snake family about how some big pink smelly animal almost killed him.
 
Originally posted by: BlackTigers
Your last post was 10 minutes ago.

How do you mow your lawn in 10 minutes?
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I didn't finish, I saw the snake so I'm done for now. The neighborhood must suffer now.
 
When I was young I mowed over a snake by accident. Mower ate right through the bastard and spit it out the side. Took a while to get over, but after the inital shock I found it humorous.
 
Originally posted by: TwiceOver
When I was young I mowed over a snake by accident. Mower ate right through the bastard and spit it out the side. Took a while to get over, but after the inital shock I found it humorous.
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i cant tell you how many snakes kissed my lawnmower blades, its a lot....
 
Originally posted by: Quintox
I just hope he doesn't come through the toilet one day, I read that they can do that.
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Oh, yes, that's exactly what they do, it's common knowledge.

And now that it knows what your pee smells like (I saw the pics, you pee'd yourself, don't deny it) this sneaky and acrobatic snake will lie in wait in your toilet until that foul day you unthinkingly unzip and then, WHAMMO! Snake bite on your weiner.

It's venom won't kill you, but it will leave you with a permanent boner, which is highly inconvenient at tea parties and when you're trying to change in the men's locker room.



 
Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Do we even have any snakes in America that can kill you?
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Are you an idiot? There are plenty of snakes native to this country that are deadly!

But I agree that more info is needed on this particular snake before we determine whether the OP must hand over his man card 🙂
 
Originally posted by: crazySOB297
Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor
Do we even have any snakes in America that can kill you? Stop being such a pansy.
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Rattlesnake, Cottonmouth Moccasin, Copperhead and Coral Snake
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The only one of those that is deadly is the coral snake, so unless he was mowing his kelp garden he'd suffer some nausea and maybe muscle cramps.
 
Originally posted by: cpmer
Originally posted by: Quintox
I just hope he doesn't come through the toilet one day, I read that they can do that.
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WAT???? This isnt true is it?
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Oh, no, no, no, it IS! Last November the three female members of the Gunderson family in rural Black Snatch, Nev. died when they all choked on the larger chunks of their Chicken Tetrazinni when paterfamilias and licensed spot welder Robert "Buzz" Gunderson stumbled back to the kitchen table with a King Killer Garter snake still attached to his hurting and now impossible to zip up wang.

They literally died laughing, although this is most assuredly no laughing matter. :|

Snake related fatalities are on the rise! A series of new public information spots is being hurriedly rushed to local TV stations for airing by the Department of Homeland Fantasy.

They feature that witty cartoon scamp, Peter the Penis, who implores ALL of us to "Peek before you Pee."

 
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