i want to train a raccoon army

[theMan]

Does anyone have experience training raccoons? I want to train legions of raccoons and then send them after people I don't like. What's the best way to do this.

 

[techs]

I for one welcome our new raccoon overlords.

 

[zCypher]

There are a few raccoons that keep coming around here cause some of the neighbors keep feeding them...

You can have them.

 

[Bignate603]

Originally posted by: theman
Does anyone have experience training raccoons? I want to train legions of raccoons and then send them after people I don't like. What's the best way to do this.

You don't need to train the racoons. Just sneak near their house and coat things with peanut butter.

 

[SlitheryDee]

Place a fish and a life-sized photograph of your enemy in front of them. When they go for the fish, reach around the photograph and poke them with a fork. This will fill them with an insane rage towards your enemy.

 

[FoBoT]

are going with NBC raccoons, like rabid raccoons or just conventional forces
NBC = nuclear biological chemical

 

[Cogman]

I don't know about raccoons, but badgers are trainable....

http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com/

 

[Nocturnal]

Ask this guy, he's done it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DfGf4M3QZo

 

[SandEagle]

what do you tell a raccoon with two black eyes?

nothing. it's an animal and doesn't comprehend the human language

 

[BabaBooey]

My marines are ready to defeat your stinkin my excellent compatriot's

 

[DrPizza]

I think there's a lot of research available on training rats. Rats will chew through concrete. Rats can get through a hole large enough for their skull to fit through. Your trained raccoons are no match for a locked door. All they'll be able to do is bang the garbage can lids together, hoping to lure out your enemy. Rats will find a way to get in & victory will be assured. Unless you opponent has cats. And, just in case, I probably have more cats than anyone else, so I'm your last choice. If you every have a problem with the rats revolting, then I'm your man.

 

[Vonkhan]

HOLY SHIT !!!

OP, are you responsible for this?! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33175101/

 

[destrekor]

Originally posted by: Vonkhan
HOLY SHIT !!!

OP, are you responsible for this?! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33175101/

my god, so it starts.

 

[rivan]

Originally posted by: Vonkhan
HOLY SHIT !!!

OP, are you responsible for this?! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33175101/

LOL, wtf!

 

[Modelworks]

You got it wrong man, possums are where it's at !
Teeth like razors, immune to most diseases, and can play dead if attacked.

 

[Red Squirrel]

I've been working on an army of squirrels. They can easily take down a dog. :Q

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4489792.stm

 

[Elias824]

yes weve all seen it before, theyll follow you when things are good, but one wrong step and they are feasting on your intestines! I would know is happened to me

 

[alkemyst]

http://slog.thestranger.com/files/2006/09/raccoon.jpg

 

[FoBoT]

please do not use your raccoon army for evil
http://www.wtsp.com/news/mostp...id=114730&provider=top

Lakeland, Florida-- A Lakeland woman is recovering from serious injuries in the hospital after sheriff's investigators say she was "gang attacked" by five raccoons Saturday afternoon.

 

[dabuddha]

Peanut Butter....