I want to take a wheel cheese and create a mite civilization and need your help...

[WelshBloke]

African or European?

 

[WelshBloke]

Personally I find the recifidiferous application of American Cheese to be a refreshing odiferous bi-product of self dis-solutionment. Coupled with decaying infrastructure of the dust mites habitation. I find no ocillicious stratosperic abnormailties to predate the existence of pre-civilization dust mite cultures.
Now if we are going to address the dustmite penile colony located approx 180 lightyears from our present location, then we can all agree that the level of recidivism has dropped lower that my toilet when I flush it.
Yet the moral fibre of our society thus as it is will deny all existence of dustmites.
The virtues which this colony was founded upon from the very foundations of the earth are just well over whelmingly diometrically opposed to a sendentary government!!

But thats just because you hate yourself. :sneaky:

 

[RedString]

:biggrin: OK, its just easier to have a thriving population if their home has a vigorous ecosystem.


And I like to see peoples reactions after they google Casu marzu. D:

D: Indeed. Gah, never!

 

[Moonbeam]

When in the course of human events it becomes obvious to an on-looker that the subject of their looking ought to medicate so to obviate the need to postulate and reply tangentially when what was propounded ought to have resulted in an expectation of response from the community addressed or at least an answer within the conduit of the question's parameter.

Having said that... I need some further information...

Given that I don't know the environment within the sealed 'container' nor the quantity of mites introduced into it nor the eating habits of mites nor their propagation rate based on the environmental factors yet to be provided nor the rate that mites consume oxygen nor the affect of the environment on the cheese, I can't offer a reasonable response.

Good grief, I didn't see this post. It flew over my head like a cheese wheel planet of mites I suppose.

I believe that had you given the matter sufficient consideration, and comparing your own intellectual strengths against my obvious lack of them, I can only conclude you should have known, and really do know that all the so called parameters, which I will hence forth call pair a mites, it would be quite impossible for me to specifically detail all the the incipient conditions, namely because I don't know fuck about cheese mites, other than that they exist. I actually don't even know that, but I have heard they do exist. Therefore, we are going to just have to ball park the figures, as we will how they can be launched, and just sort of pretend. I know you are rather old for that and stayed in your mathematical ways, but I am going to ask you anyway just to indulge me and not run off like that other idiot did. Whoops, I mean like that idiot in another thread did.

We are going to just have to pretend that some how in some way, facts and figures unknown, we have a colony on n mites living on x amount of cheese.

The central and important issue is this: Mites eat cheese and do little else except breed more mites and poop digested cheese. And the poop leaves our story here, unless our mites grow very cleaver and find a way to recycle it. In fact, let me propose photographic verbal representation, since I can't draw one here with a pen. Let alpha represent useful work that can be done by solar radiation. Let C stand for the food half cycle, cheese to cheese poop. Let O mega stand for the cycle cheese to poop to cheese. We want to have an equation, therefore, where alpha------->C=O and where x over n =cheese mite heaven.

In short, your task, should you choose to accept it, is to postulate a mite civilization structure where x and n are real numbers such that x/n + alpha--->C=O is achieved.

 

[Moonbeam]

Personally I find the recifidiferous application of American Cheese to be a refreshing odiferous bi-product of self dis-solutionment. Coupled with decaying infrastructure of the dust mites habitation. I find no ocillicious stratosperic abnormailties to predate the existence of pre-civilization dust mite cultures.
Now if we are going to address the dustmite penile colony located approx 180 lightyears from our present location, then we can all agree that the level of recidivism has dropped lower that my toilet when I flush it.
Yet the moral fibre of our society thus as it is will deny all existence of dustmites.
The virtues which this colony was founded upon from the very foundations of the earth are just well over whelmingly diometrically opposed to a sendentary government!!

Ah, so true, but......


but but but?????

Ah shit, I don't remember.

 

[Moonbeam]

So, what's the airspeed of an unladen mite?

Faster or slower, no doubt, depended on if he's going to get laid.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Well, postulating American mites to go with the American cheddar, they'll "off beaker" cheese poop collection to European or African mites and import processed cheese products from the Asian mites until they're either enslaved by corporate Scientists or, there's just one giant mite left in the beaker which would shatter causing death to millions of mites around the world. So, mote it be (mite it?).

BTW, American mites aren't afraid of run on sentences either.

 

[Hayabusa Rider]

My suggestion would be to place the cheese on a planet much like our own. Eventually they would consume the cheese and those who are able to eat anything else survive. Over time they will evolve to higher creatures, each better adapted for it's particular niche. Eventually one will create a technological civilization which will develop an internet. Then one of them will make a thread about putting mites on cheese, and then he could place a planet much like our own...

 

[LunarRay]

Given the OP did not indicate any location for the sphere and did indicate your intention to "... evolve the mites..." that would mean to me that our container is earth bound and proximate to you to enable your objective. I reject the alternative hypothesis of an orbiting cheese gizmo due to the obvious environmental issues for the mites.

So... you as the mite dictator might look to the knowledge base of all societal systems and find one that enables a society of mites dependent on you and your awesomeness. We all know that Mites are in most all cheese and actually help develop the cheese but I presume they consume some portion of the pre-cheese product and not the finished product... Ergo, the first step is to cause them to enjoy or need to consume the cheese once they produced it. They being interested in their survival and the production of cheese seems a reasonable task... Their instinctive actions notwithstanding and without the intelligence to mount a counter offensive to your attack on their liberty they cannot rally the troops with the cry of 'Freedom'. No, they are bound to simply perish as a good mite might....
No society can evolve beyond their ability to do so...

 

[dank69]

Can you tell me how many generations the cheese will last, assuming average reproductive rate?

 

[Mr. Pedantic]

But his logic is impeccable plus he seems to be winning the argument, don't you think?

The mites will learn to be cannabilisitic after the chesse runs out. After that??

One mite to rule them all?

 

[LunarRay]

Can you tell me how many generations the cheese will last, assuming average reproductive rate?

Mites make cheese so to speak or at least alter it... Step one is to evolve them to consume their own production... They then might have time to evolve to eat themselves or establish a priority for dinner scenario... The only hurdle would be to initially have enough mite to then continue the process. It might work

 

[Moonbeam]

Given the OP did not indicate any location for the sphere and did indicate your intention to "... evolve the mites..." that would mean to me that our container is earth bound and proximate to you to enable your objective. I reject the alternative hypothesis of an orbiting cheese gizmo due to the obvious environmental issues for the mites.

So... you as the mite dictator might look to the knowledge base of all societal systems and find one that enables a society of mites dependent on you and your awesomeness. We all know that Mites are in most all cheese and actually help develop the cheese but I presume they consume some portion of the pre-cheese product and not the finished product... Ergo, the first step is to cause them to enjoy or need to consume the cheese once they produced it. They being interested in their survival and the production of cheese seems a reasonable task... Their instinctive actions notwithstanding and without the intelligence to mount a counter offensive to your attack on their liberty they cannot rally the troops with the cry of 'Freedom'. No, they are bound to simply perish as a good mite might....
No society can evolve beyond their ability to do so...

This is most troubling news. I had hoped the stupendous jar I had intended to launch them in would answer the difficult environmental issues. And to think I came up out of a most sound nap realizing I had failed to tell you that x/n was not a division, but a consumption rate that the given solar radiation of unknown value could none the less sustain. I guess all I'm going to get is a galactic mite cheese pie in which all the mites are thoroughly baked.

I wonder now if the optimism Hayabusa found, despite the horrible implications, is non the less a more comforting projection.

 

[Matthiasa]

So would it be yellow or white cheddar?
Mild, regular, sharp...? Maybe smoked?
How aged will it be then for all of that stuff?
What kind of conditions will it be produced in to make optimal feed?
So many questions that need to be asked to get the right cheese.

 

[Moonbeam]

Mites make cheese so to speak or at least alter it... Step one is to evolve them to consume their own production... They then might have time to evolve to eat themselves or establish a priority for dinner scenario... The only hurdle would be to initially have enough mite to then continue the process. It might work

Ah, so you do see some hope, even if it's cannibalism. It would seem to me that given enough evolution and enough resources a means might be found simply to reassemble the atoms in mite poop right back into cheese, skipping the cannibal phase, as it were. Of course, we might be speaking here of a level four civilization, I am not exactly sure.

 

[dank69]

Ah, so you do see some hope, even if it's cannibalism. It would seem to me that given enough evolution and enough resources a means might be found simply to reassemble the atoms in mite poop right back into cheese, skipping the cannibal phase, as it were. Of course, we might be speaking here of a level four civilization, I am not exactly sure.

I was thinking more along the lines of beaker eating mites.

 

[Moonbeam]

So would it be yellow or white cheddar?
Mild, regular, sharp...? Maybe smoked?
How aged will it be then for all of that stuff?
What kind of conditions will it be produced in to make optimal feed?
So many questions that need to be asked to get the right cheese.

This is easy. First we are going to want to take galaxies of hydrogen gas and through gravitational attraction condense some of the hydrogen into stars, many so massive that they create all the elements within their exploding cores.

Then we are going to want to condense these elements in to smaller bodies rotating around smaller and longer lived stars. On one of these at least we will want to evolve cows and since I live in America we are going to use good old US cows and we are going to use their milk to make cheddar cheese.

It doesn't make a blinking difference what kind of cheddar it is so long as it made from US cow milk because the issue is not the kind of cheese. I determine that and have so clearly stated.

The issue is that given that mites eat cheese, and good patriotic America mites will love any kind of American made cheese; they will also eat all the cheese you give them. Then to howls of mite tears and anguish, they all die. This is what is so sad and the problem I am trying to solve, but it's obvious that asking people for help is a waste of time. They don't seem to give much of a shit about the fate of poor mites. What a shame. Looks like by the time the humans offer anything the mites will be extinct. Reminds me of the grasshopper and the ants really.

 

[Moonbeam]

I was thinking more along the lines of beaker eating mites.

You run along then and conduct your own experiment. Let me know how it goes. I hope you have better luck than I.

 

[dank69]

You run along then and conduct your own experiment. Let me know how it goes. I hope you have better luck than I.

No, I am saying YOUR mites might evolve to eat their beaker.

 

[Lanyap]

That's a tough one since a mite's brain is so small. I suppose we could weed out the liberal and conservative mites then the liberal mites would want to give away the cheese and the conservative mites would want to hoard the cheese. If we even them out then we would be at equilibrium. Wait...

Let me think about this some more and I'll get back to you.

Well at least their brain is bigger than their anus.



I'm guessing that Moonbeam is a 62 year old retired female philosophy professor.

 

[LunarRay]

I'm guessing that Moonbeam is a 62 year old retired female philosophy professor.

At Berkeley perhaps but, certainly not Stanford!!! In fact, I'm pretty sure there exists a giant sign at the entry to Palo Alto... "No Moonbeams allowed"

What do you suppose "Professor Emeritus, Philosophy of Religion" might mean to a mite or should I say "... Emerita ..."

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

I'm guessing that Moonbeam is a 62 year old retired female philosophy professor.

That would explain all the self hate.

 

[LunarRay]

Ah, so you do see some hope, even if it's cannibalism. It would seem to me that given enough evolution and enough resources a means might be found simply to reassemble the atoms in mite poop right back into cheese, skipping the cannibal phase, as it were. Of course, we might be speaking here of a level four civilization, I am not exactly sure.

Well, I sorta have an issue with evolution and control being used in the same 'pot'. I guess to some extent control is subjective but in pure science randomness is or should be the control. IOW, I am of the mindset that you are breeding a kind of mite to do a particular chore and result in a particular outcome... like an UI type thing. Even aboard the Beagle observation might have resulted in testing 'If this, then that' type activity... but, it seems to me you cannot evolve within your own lifetime or that of the mite...
In essence, I'm saying that controlling the issue does not evolve the subject but, rather, the subject starts to evolve from the end of the controlled project...

Or.... God created Goo.... with the expectation that humans would evolve from that. He also created the lightening and etc... all part of the big picture... so to speak.

 

[Moonbeam]

No, I am saying YOUR mites might evolve to eat their beaker.

Ah, I see. Now that is a distinct possibility. Perhaps they have a story that the earth is made of cheese and want to find out. The cows, if so, could be in for a rough time.

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

Ah, I see. Now that is a distinct possibility. Perhaps they have a story that the earth is made of cheese and want to find out. The cows, if so, could be in for a rough time.

Philistine! The best cheese come from goats, everyone knows this.